The Funny Farm

Summer In The (Windy) City

[warning : this post contains poker-specific jargon and is at least marginally about the vice of gambling. We may well try to be as confusing about it as possible... and we don't profess to be a professional in this area of expertise. Certainly not during the course of the events about to be relayed to you today (cough)]

Well, a quick jaunt, relativistically speaking, for a road trip (almost exactly 300 miles) was made by the intrepid staff of the Funny Farm in the No Longer Quite So New Cop Car over the past weekend, as I mentioned briefly yesterday. Chief nagravator and refreshment co-ordiinator (as well as beloved Sig-O) Ally the Roulette Queen was witness to a rough ride to and fro from the passenger's seat. Rain, rain and more rain, almost all the way from east of Lansing to the Indiana border on the way there, and from just after we got out of Chicago all the way home. And quite a few different types of rain as well - a couple of torrential downpours on both trips at the very least. We did manage to make it there in decent time, and survived the Skyway slowdowns and the unforgiving Chicago city traffic.

Ally and I managed to make it to the designated meeting place in time to be fashionably late to the show. Easy enough to find, if you've listened to any BartCop Radio programs; Bart was helping everyone understand how much of a Disaster Monkey the Torturer in Chief is - so all we had to do was follow the sound of his voice, and we were suddenly surrounded by rational, intelligent people. People who have the cojones to call a bunch of lying, arrogant punks who are screwing our country up right royally the Republic Party of America. People willing to point out the unbridled greed and unprecedented arrogance of the current junta - even though that sort of attitude generally meets with resistance when it is noticed by someone getting all of their news from the Murdoch Media Empire. People who are unafraid to feel compassion for their fellow man (without finding out what's in it for them first). Also, it was personally amazing to me that I could walk in to a gathering such as this, say "I run the Funny Farm", and have most (if not all) of my compatriots not only know about this blog, but have more respect for me because of what they read on these pages. I cannot tell you how satisfying it is to feel that I'm not screaming into the void all the time. So, thanks to all of you for making an old man feel like he's making a difference...

I made a conscious decision to avoid playing at the same table as Ally during this tournament. I figured that a real student of the game might be able to watch Ally and I read each other, figure out our tells, and take us both apart at the tables. So Ally took a seat at the red table for round number one, and I stayed on the sidelines. We were both hoping that we would not be the first out during any of the games. A modest goal that we both felt was within our grasp.

Ally and I have both played poker before - I used to play dealer's choice with a bunch of people back when I was young and foolish, and she has been playing online at partypoker.com for a couple of months, anyways. And she was playing in the Yahoo game rooms a bit - more euchre there than poker, but still playing at least a few games every other day for sure - before she got into the partypoker site. We have both become infected with Texas Hold-Em fever, and watched Chris Moneymaker turn online experience into early retirement. Plus we managed to get a few games in with a couple of card sharks from the Great White North (well - one card shark, and one friend who practiced playing different styles of betting techniques, so that we could get a feel for playing against different types of players) over the weeks leading up to the tourney.

Said tourney which also faced a conundrum. We were supposed to be starting out with 300 in chips each:

2 Black (value=50) 2 Yellow (value=20) 10 Red (value=10) 15 Blue (value=5) 40 White (value=1)

Well, you can see the problem to start out with - we got 355* in chips each. But no one was really getting much of a chance to question the accuracy of the proceedings - Bart was busily breaking out the chips from the luxurious padded cases that he brought them in, and the rest of the bunch were just hanging around, talking to each other. These chips looked and felt like the real thing, too - unlike the somewhat larger plastic chips we have here at the Funny Farm.

There were a few 'house' rules for the day: the aforementioned chip values and startup sets; a list of small and large blinds:

small blind = 1 / large blind = 2 small blind = 2 / large blind = 5 small blind = 5 / large blind = 10 small blind = 10 / large blind = 20 small blind = 20 / large blind = 50 small blind = 50 / large blind = 100 small blind = 100 / large blind = 200 small blind = 200 / large blind = 400

and the rule that blinds were to increase every fifteen minutes to the next level. Most folks (us included) were used to upping the blinds when somebody went out, as opposed to within a particular time frame.

Saint Mrs. Bartcop (Our Lady of Infinite Patience) was getting name tags and Chicago Jim and various other players were introducing themselves and getting ready for the game. A case of Red Stripe and a case of Heineken, as well as the usual liquid refreshments, were available at the bar. The venue looked like a wonderful place to hold a wedding reception and dance, or a company party.

Anyways,... there weren't enough white chips to outfit both tables with 40 chips each per player. So Bart had a novel idea for handling the situation: the second table would start ½ hour after the first table. By that time, the first table would be switching to minimum bets of 5 each - and they could cash in all of their white chips so the other table could use them. It worked out very well for the preliminary rounds of the day.

Ally and I were glad to finish the day without being the first to exit our game(s). But just barely - Ally was the second one out at her table in round three, and neither of us finished in the money until the very end. I can't quite remember where I finished in the second round (which only had nine people, as opposed to the ten sitting at the other table in round one) over at the white table. I can tell you that the eventual winner of the second round, Ryan, was sitting to my right. And that we mixed the players up between rounds two and three, so that the same players weren't facing each other all day. And that Flagstaff - who finished second in round four (with nine players, once again at the white table), was also seated to my right when he cashed in (figuratively speaking).

The problem of the white chips was solved in the final round by eliminating their use, and starting the small blind at 5. Both tables were filled in this round, which had everyone in it - ten at the red table and nine at the white table to start. Once there were only ten players left at both tables, we consolidated the round, and put all ten remaining players at the red table

Ally and I never did manage to face each other at the poker tables - she didn't make it to the consolidation of the two tables in the finals, and we started out at different tables in the finals, too. But I did manage to make it to the final showdown, where I was stared out by LARick. And we did manage to make it to the Tequila Roadhouse for the after party. But we didn't stay too long - Ally had had a long day of alcohol over-consumption, and I decided it was in our best interests to get to sleep relatively early (around 1AM local time) and get ready for the drive home.

All in all I would have to say that the Chicago Pokerfest was a big success, and Ally and I are definitely interested in testing our abilities once again. Extreme thanks go out to the multitudes brave enough to attend. It was wonderful to meet each and every one of you, and I hope you all had as much fun as I did. We are definitely considering attending the September Seattle Pokerfest, especially if a definite date for it can be determined early enough so that we can get plane tickets at a reasonable price. Not all of us can get last-minute fares for 10% of the regular price of the ticket...

[Ed. Note: Minor alterations due to rented fingers made after the fact.

The players by round (please feel free to correct me if I messed anything up) - these are not quite in seating order (I think) at the table I was sitting at. All bets are off for the other tables]

Round 1: 10 players at the red table Buck (second) Vegas Dave Deb the Poker Queen (third) Ally the Roulette Queen Snabby Corey (wiener) LARick Ray Coop John F (last) Round 2: 9 players at the white table Trevor Joe B (third) Chicago Jim (Zendaba - the host with the most) (second) Larry by the Sea Bart Ryan (wiener) Matt (: Tom :) John F (last) John F left early Round 3: 10 players at the red table Deb the Poker Queen (wiener) Ally the Roulette Queen Snabby Ray (second) Trevor (third) Joe B Bart Ryan Matt John D. Round 4: 9 players at the white table Buck Vegas Dave (third) Corey (wiener) LARick Coop Chicago Jim (Zendaba - the host with the most) Larry by the Sea (: Tom :) Flagstaff (second) Finals: 10 players at the red table Matt John D. Bart Larry by the Sea Flagstaff Coop Buck Trevor (tie-fourth) Vegas Dave (: Tom :) (second) 9 players at the white table Deb the Poker Queen Ally the Roulette Queen Snabby Corey LARick (big wiener) Ray (third) Joe B Chicago Jim (Zendaba - the host with the most) Ryan (tie-fourth)

* - We mistakenly reported it as being 305, not 355 - with a Bachelor of Mathematics hanging on our walls, no less!) and we were corrected by our long time friend Stu from the Great White North. Thanks, Bud!

Posted by (: Tom :) at July 20, 2004 11:28 PM