October 25, 2004

Monday Morning Outrage

We have been cruising into the week today, feeling good about our mental holiday over the weekend, where our current troubles (which are legion) were consigned to the dim reaches of our memory. And then we saw this (thanks to Don over at Blah3 for pointing out this article to us):

[slight additions of off-color commentary courtesy of the new, leaner and meaner Funny Farm Editorial staff]

Soviets Might Be Around if Kerry Had Led: Cheney - By REUTERS

Published: October 23, 2004

FARMINGTON, N.M. (Reuters) - The Soviet Union might still exist and Saddam Hussein might dominate the Gulf if Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry had been president in recent years, Vice President Dick Cheney (R-Fearmonger) said on Saturday.

Cheney told supporters that Kerry had run for the U.S. Senate in the 1980s on a promise to do away with many of the weapons that U.S. President Ronald Reagan used to end the Cold War (as opposed to actually voting against funding those weapons like Pencil Dick did).

``So if John Kerry had been in charge, maybe the Soviet Union would still be in business,'' President Bush's running mate said on a campaign trip to the swing state of New Mexico. (Yes, and monkeys could fly out of my butt at any moment. Rabid ditto monkeys - yeah, that's the ticket!)

He also suggested that a Kerry presidency in the 1990s might have allowed former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein to remain a global threat.

``In 1991, John Kerry voted against sending troops to expel Saddam Hussein after he invaded Kuwait. So if John Kerry had been in charge, Saddam Hussein might well control the Persian Gulf today,'' Cheney said.

``The desert heat is making Dick Cheney come unglued,'' said Kerry spokesman David Wade.

``Soon he'll be arguing that John Kerry lost the Battle of Gettysburg and sank the Lusitania,'' Wade said.

[snip]

So, let's see...

According to the logic (cough) presented to us on Saturday by the person occupying the second most powerful position in the United States government, if the Torturer in Chief was figurehead pResident during the Soviet missile crisis in the 1960's, the globe would be a smoking radioactive cinder for the next thousand years!

Oh, yeah - Dick, you can go Cheney yourself with your fearmongering hate speech about your opponent. Somebody connect this icehole's brain to his mouth...

Posted by (: Tom :) at October 25, 2004 06:20 AM