The Funny Farm

Kaye Grogan, January 24, 2005

If there is one thing the country doesn't need — it's a possible third term presidency from former President Bill Clinton.
We personally think that we didn't need eight years of the Giggling Deserting Cokeheaded Murderer. Maybe that's just us, although we're pretty sure that almost half of those who voted (and over half of those who tried to vote) feel pretty much the same way...

Why should he get a third chance to mess things up? It's taken awhile to restore things back to normalcy in the White House, as it is.
Hmmm. So cronyism, rampant deficit spending, tax giveaways to the rich, corpo-weasels determining government policy, the American government operating like a totalitarian state, and pResidential lies that kill American soldiers is considered normalcy in wingnut circles?

Rumors are swirling all around that a compromise could be reached between the Republicans and Democrats, if some of the Republicans would help to amend the Constitution allowing former or current presidents to run for a third term, in exchange for amending the Constitution so Gov. Schwarzenegger of California, who is not a natural born citizen of the United States, can run for president, if he so desires.
Whaaa? Is the Democratic Party throwing in all the Faux Republics on their team, too? Holy Joe, contact the home office... maybe we can get a player to be named later in the deal too!

But wait guys and gals, before you get too carried away — there's this little thing called ratification before any amendment to the Constitution can be considered legal. And both proposals have about as much chance of passing through the required procedures successfully, as a balloon's chance of staying inflated after a pin puncture.
And more of a chance than that you'll find any rationality in this article...

Republican Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah, really needs to take a long rest, if he thinks the Constitution needs amending to allow California's Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to be eligible to run for president. Hatch is overlooking the whole picture. Has he stopped to ponder who else in the United States might be eligible to run under his ridiculous proposal? I think we have enough born in the good ole' USA potential presidential candidates, without allowing outsiders to be included. The country is already in enough trouble without adding more problems to accentuate the "not so positive" aspects in government.
(coughcoughPinheadinChiefPencilDickSecretAgentManRumsfeldCondiLiarcoughcough)

Somehow — try as I might, I can't visualize a pleasant picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office. I just can't seem to shake the image of the actor as the "Terminator." Yes, I know Ronald Reagan was a former movie star, but he played out roles in a more respectful, non-violent fashion.
And authorized secret death squads. And honored the Nazis for their noble efforts during the war. And, in eight years, tripled the nation's debt which had accumulated for over 200 years.

Is someone paying these people to come up with all of these off-the-wall suggestions? Well, in Senator Hatch's case — yes . .. . you are.
Kaye seems to be slipping off the reservation here. The Nut Hatch is one the the Republic's better foot soldiers - he's changed the rules to favor his fellow Republics in the Senate Judiciary Committee for over ten years now. Make sure you check your mail for powdery substances for a while, Kaye - these Republic bastiches are somewhat intolerant of criticism...

Many of the so-called constitutional experts are in agreement that Bill Clinton could be a viable presidential candidate again, if the 22nd Amendment was amended.
Plus, if we could bring back Reagan from the dead, we're sure he would be a viable candidate, too! He might even be a little more animated than he was the last time he was pRezNit...

God, spare us from that possibility! I know that Bill Clinton would love to make 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue his permanent address, but dream on.
Oh Invisible Cloud Being, please spare us from any more wrongwing tripe from this harpy! That she is actually being paid for this, and has not been struck down by you for her transgressions, is almost certain proof that you don't exist. It certainly indicates that you don't seem to care about us a whole heck of a lot...

Maybe it's time some egos were deflated.
Has anyone given Kaye a mirror lately? Would it do any good if we did?

Do we really need leaders who are self-serving and seek to puff up their own big heads?
For some strange reason, this seems to ring a few bells here at the Funny Farm. Praise Jeebus that the frelling Irony Alert alarm still seems to be broken...

And do we really need a former president (who was impeached), to serve a third term? Two terms is enough for anybody to serve, including House Representatives and Senators.
Paging Tom Delay... Paging Orrin Hatch...
Do we really need a current pResident (who should be impeached but won't because his party controls all branches of the government) who is owned by the corpo-weasels and has never been legally elected running our country into the ground?

Term limits are needed to avoid congressional members from getting too "cozy" with special interest groups, and big businesses.
We're thinking about some sort of pre-9/11 saying about biting the hand that feeds you...

No, term limits are not carried out in the voting booths.
We do believe it's referred to as Gerrymandering. You could probably get some pointers on that if you could just get on your knees in front of Tom Delay for a few minutes...

Some people don't have sense enough to oust bad politicians, they would still vote for them, regardless.
We can't really be sure about that anymore since Diebold, ESS, and Sequoia started counting the votes. But we're reasonably sure, judging from the frothy wingnuttery coming from most every Republic these days, that Kaye may have a point here...

Heck, Lizzie Borden could probably be elected to serve in a governmental position, if she had a "donkey" in her barn.
(coughcoughTorturerinChiefcoughcough) Or if she had the power to put a horse's head in your bed...

Has Bill Clinton decided his former first lady doesn't have what it takes to get them moved back into the White House?
Has Kaye Grogan decided that her awesome mental powers give her the ability to read minds? Or is it her awesome faith in the mystical magical abilities of her Invisible Cloud Being?

It would be interesting to know her take on the idea of her husband being the president for a third term. But good luck on getting a straightforward answer from Hillary Clinton.
And, if we do manage to get a straight answer, don't worry - Kaye will be able to reinterpret it so it sounds Republic crooked.

Personally, I think the bottom line here is power. Being in control is the only thing that can satisfy the soul for some people, and many are in agreement this pair fits the bill for an insatiable appetite for power.
Many are in agreement that Kaye is not playing with a full deck. Some question whether her elevator goes to the top, or is merely out of service. Many think she needs to spend a little time in the reality-based world, though...

The Clintonians need to work on not being so transparent, because I see them at the crossroads where you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.
We see them as being people who can actually remember that saying, and are able to express it properly when addressing the public.