January 28, 2005

Hypothetical (Cough) Questions

What would you think if someone told you it was okay to start a life together with her even though she's still married to her second husband? That she doesn't really care about marriage anymore - she's just staying married because she's in the middle of bankruptcy proceedings with her husband, it's a lot of trouble to refill out the paperwork as a separated couple, and the only reason she's still married is to avoid all the hassle? And then she said that she doesn't want to get married again? What would you think if she ran out on you for someone else and then got married to number three within a month of finalizing the divorce from number two? Especially considering that this sort of thing is skirting the bounds of legality? Good thing marriage number two was in Ohio and number three was in Michigan. Maybe that's how the rules could be bent so easily...

What would you think if the woman who is going through bankruptcy with her second husband wants you to buy her a car even though she already has one? An overpriced one that was probably not a wise decision in the first place - but that's okay, because she can just abandon it and add it to the bankruptcy pile? Especially when there's a nice sucker significant other to bail her out and fill out the paperwork for another one? Of course, we were lied to assured that she would be making all the car payments, and handle all the insurance payments, too. And like the sap nice guy we are, we never even considered getting some sort of agreement on paper. What would you think if that person then ran out on you and stiffed you with three and a half years worth of car payments? And a repair bill for an accident she got into a couple of days before she abandoned you? And giggled while she did it? And also threw quite a few cheap shots in just for fun...

What would you think if she insisted that you buy a new house for the two of you to live together in, and then left you holding the bag? If she got you to rent a truck, drive 150 miles, load her stuff up, and bring it to the new digs? And get a friend of yours to help unload it. What would you think if she then refused to lift a finger to help you move the stuff out of your old house? And then insisted that it go into a storage space because she didn't want it cluttering up the new place? When all of her stuff is piled up all over the new house, and that's just fine with her... What would you think if she abandoned you and moved in with someone else into an apartment that is smaller than the house she insisted was too small for both of you to cohabitate in?

What would you think if you bought her all sorts of goodies, changed your habits and tried to compromise with her agenda - only to find that, to her, compromise means doing just what she wants to do, and forgetting about your own desires?

What would you think if you found out (after the fact of course) that she was planning on screwing you over from day one, and the vast majority of her statements were lies? What would you think if you found out (after the fact) she was cheating on you practically from the moment you thought the relationship started?

What would you think if someone who you thought was your friend decided that he wanted (someone who you thought was) your Sig-O, ignored your requests to be a decent, honorable friend and back off, and seduced her anyway? And then threatened you when you confronted him about it?

What would you think if both of these people, even after it should have been obvious that they were going to screw you over, lied to you promised that they would still try and talk to you, that even though the relationship was ending they would still continue the friendship? And then you didn't hear anything from them again?

What would you think if you found out that they were still using your address to deceive creditors about their financial status? And then were insulted and threatened when you asked them to please update their information with the credit card company so you don't have to deal with it any more?

Praise Jeebus that things were only this bad - we were a hair's breadth away from marrying the Psycho Hose Beast ourselves. And thank Koresh that we weren't one of those PSTD veterans who got messed up in the head by our Unelectorated Usurper. We're trying very hard not to imagine that scenario...

Gee, how could all those thoughts get into that crazy head of ours? Thanks so much, Mr. and Mrs. A$$hole, for your kindness, your upstanding ethical behavior, and especially your consideration for those who gave you their friendship and their love. Rest assured that, should we ever meet again, your behavior will be properly appreciated.

Posted by (: Tom :) at January 28, 2005 12:00 AM
Comments

Tom mate

I'd say any guy in America who traversed this provocative emotional minefield, and who didn't grab a gun to sort out his problem, is a thoughtful, patient, intelligent and humane person, a rare bird which is in the minority in today's America.
Add to that the ability to keep up a blog, earn a living and keep your sense on humour, and you're getting up to exceptional. Congratulations!

Your story reminds me of (Palestinian representitive) Ms. Hanan Ashrawi - after giving an address to the National Press Club (Canberra) where she described being shelled by a tank in her living room in Palestine, I asked to to hold a Bartcop.com sticker. After a brief description of the site from me, she read the sticker, which describes the site as 'political humour'; she then posed for the photo saying "One must have a sense of humour".

Keep up the good work, and better luck with your next S.O.

Posted by: wal at January 28, 2005 06:43 AM