May 29, 2005

Irony Overload Alert

It's been a while since we have heard the broken, dismantled, unpowered, yet still fully operational irony overload siren go off here at the Funny Farm. Maybe because we have stuffed it into a soundproof booth. And set up some white noise to counter any sound emanating from it. And studiously avoided circumstances that might have set it off even with all of our precautions. Yet somehow the frelling thing still manages to make the fillings in our melon vibrate painfully from time to time.

Like now, for instance, when we saw this heartwarming (cough) story (courtesy of fellow Wild-Eyed Coalition member Esoteric Appeal):

[emphasis and editorial comment courtesy of the Funny Farm News Burro]

Judge: Parents can't teach pagan beliefs

An Indianapolis father is appealing a Marion County judge's unusual order that prohibits him and his ex-wife from exposing their child to "non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals." (coughcoughlegislatingmoralityfromthebenchcoughcough)

The parents practice Wicca, a contemporary pagan religion that emphasizes a balance in nature and reverence for the earth.

Cale J. Bradford, chief judge of the Marion Superior Court, kept the unusual provision in the couple's divorce decree last year over their fierce objections, court records show. The order does not define a mainstream religion.

Bradford refused to remove the provision after the 9-year-old boy's outraged parents, Thomas E. Jones Jr. and his ex-wife, Tammie U. Bristol, protested last fall. (does anyone else find it somewhat odd that both parents object to this ruling?)

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The parents' Wiccan beliefs came to Bradford's attention in a confidential report prepared by the Domestic Relations Counseling Bureau, which provides recommendations to the court on child custody and visitation rights. Jones' son attends a local Catholic school.

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"This was done without either of us requesting it and at the judge's whim," said Jones, who has organized Pagan Pride Day events in Indianapolis. "It is upsetting to our son that he cannot celebrate holidays with us, including Yule, which is winter solstice, and Ostara, which is the spring equinox."

The ICLU and Jones assert the judge's order tramples on the parents' constitutional right to expose their son to a religion of their choice. Both say the court failed to explain how exposing the boy to Wicca's beliefs and practices would harm him (we're guessing the court thinks that the rest of us should just take it on faith).

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Even the U.S. military accommodates Wiccans and educates chaplains about their beliefs, said Lawrence W. Snyder, an associate professor of religious studies at Western Kentucky University.

"The federal government has given Wiccans protection under the First Amendment," Snyder said. "Unless this judge has some very specific information about activities involving the child that are harmful, the law is not on his side."

At times, divorcing parents might battle in the courts over the religion of their children. But Kenneth J. Falk, the ICLU's legal director, said he knows of no such order issued before by an Indiana court. He said his research also did not turn up such a case nationally.

"Religion comes up most frequently when there are disputes between the parents. There are lots of cases where a mom and dad are of different faiths, and they're having a tug of war over the kids," Falk said. "This is different: Their dispute is with the judge. When the government is attempting to tell people they're not allowed to engage in non-mainstream activities, that raises concerns." (coughcoughbecarefulwhatyousayandwhatyoudocoughcough)

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During the divorce, he told a court official that Wiccans are not devil worshippers. And he said he does not practice a form of Wicca that involves nudity. We're not sure why the gratuitous references to nudity are included in this article, nor why rational adults need to be informed that Wiccans are not devil worshippers. Or even why it is relevant what forms of religion they practice, as long as those religious practices do not involve sacrificing virgins in the light of a blue moon or other illegal activities. Maybe it's just us...

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Praise Koresh that they weren't members of the Church of Reality - we might get a ruling from a supposedly rational judge that it would be dangerous to expose a child to reality. Then again, this ruling was produced in a state where, among other things, oral sex is illegal. There must be quite a few extremely unsatisfied Hoosiers…

On the other hand, here in the Great Lake State, Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife. Furthermore, no prosecution may take place if the offense was committed over a year from when a complaint was made. It is also illegal for a woman to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

And, let's not even get started on the idiotic laws in place at the federal level. (believe it or not - according to this site, we annexed Midway Island because there is a law that says a US citizen can take possession of any foreign, uninhabited island, as long as it contains bird droppings. Maybe we'll start looking for some uninhabited islands with bird doody on them during our summer vacation this year...

Posted by (: Tom :) at May 29, 2005 07:12 AM