The Funny Farm

[spoken: Are you having trouble keeping the faith? Well, send $5.95 right now for these wonderful new faith pills. They'll pick you up and never put you down]

You have a friend in Jesus
He's been a good friend to me
I know who to thank for all the money in my bank
Since he made me a star on TV

Jesus has been a good living
He's a well that never runs dry
I'm your heavenly host
Broadcast live coast to coast
From that goldmine in the sky

It's a gold mine
And it's all mine
Far be it from me to ask why
I'm quite content
If the lord pays the rent
On that goldmine in the sky

I've found the new testament
Was a damn good investament
Every time I read it, I cry
And Mary Magdaleenie
Drives a brand new Lambourghini
To that goldmine in the sky

It's a gold mine
Not a land mine
You'll see it before you die
Send your dollars today
And I'll show you the way
To that goldmine in the sky

When the dollar is weak
Thank god for the meek
They're never in short supply
Thousands of lungs
Are speaking in tongues
From that goldmine in the sky

So you have a friend in Jesus
And you have a friend in me
Others may say
That crime doesn't pay
Well maybe they don't watch TV

So let's praise the lord
Send what you can afford
'Cause he's just a regular guy
He'll put your soul at rest
It's time to invest
In that goldmine in the sky

It's a gold mine
Not a land mine
You'll see it before you die
Send your dollars today
And I'll show you the way
To that goldmine in the sky

It's a gold mine
And it's all mine
Far be it from me to ask why
I'm quite content
If the lord pays the rent
On that goldmine in the sky

Goldmine in the sky
Goldmine in the sky
Goldmine in the sky

[spoken: It's a gold mine. (Testify!) I'm telling you, boy, it's a god damn gold mine! Don't forget to send now for your free faith pills! Free with every $49.95 that you spend on - on my video. Yes, my video, from my wonderful new gold plated house in Las Cruces, New Mexico, with five thousand acres of farmland, which we're dedicating to the work of the lord...]

_{From the EP The Palace of Memory by Pukka Orchestra}