The Funny Farm

Top Ten Burning Questions At The Funny Farm

^{Tuesday, 9 Premise 2008}

10. Will I be able to quit smoking this year?

9. Will anyone be interested in purchasing a Midling Calendar this year?*

8. Does anyone else think it must have taken an awful long time to winnow down all of the stupid legalese coming from the current junta (just over the course of 2007, mind you. If they looked at the entire course of the clusterCheney that is this sadministration, they would probably still be at it) into a top ten list?

7. Will the (Funny Farm NFL fave) Miami Dolphins turn into an adequate team again sometime in my lifetime?

6. Will the (Funny Farm NHL fave) Montreal Canadiens win the Cup again before the (Funny Farm NHL unfave and perennial punching bag) Toronto Maple Leafs?**

5. Will the Democratic politicians out there finally get a semblance of a spine, and will Republican'ts continue their hyperpartisan win-at-all-costs political philosophy? In other words, will either of the major american political parties start acting like a political party again?

4. Will the frelling irony alert siren remain in its' tenuous Hactar-like existence*** throughout 2008, or will it once again re-form and start screeching at three in the morning?

3. Will Sadly, No ever run out of Reich wingnuts to (justifiably) ridicule?***

2. If you have to lie, cheat, and steal to survive, and you have problems with lying, cheating, and stealing, how do you survive?

And, the number one burning question here at the Funny Farm:

1. Whatever happened to the Poor Man? I haven't been able to bring that site up for quite some time now, and have not yet read anything about their sudden demise.

If you have any answers (especially to the last question), here's your chance to edumacate the Funny Farm staff. Just leave your answers (in the form of an answer) in the comments to this post.

* - it's the signature product from the Funny Farm (even though you can't find it at Country Store). So, please talk to me if you'd like more details on a different way of looking at time...

** - because, if the Leafs manage to get their names engraved on the Cup before the next time the Habs do, it will cause significant cash drain from the Funny Farm coffers in lost wagers, and there are no shortage of Leaf fans with wounded pride who will be wanting some payback from Your Humble Narrator...

*** - Hactar was pulverized into its' component atoms; but, since its' individual components contained the pattern of the whole within them, it continued to exist as a gaseous cloud of atoms loosely held together.

**** - Sadly, No!

Posted by (: Tom :) at January 4, 2008 05:25 AM