The Funny Farm
Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats...
Adventures of a Basic Force For Good in Our TimeTM
Kmart may move to Atlanta. Just exactly how do you speak Hoser with a southern accent? How long before the redneck welcoming committee decides I'm one too many carpetbagging, funny talking (like, really funny talking, eh?) Yankee bastards that needs to be taught a lesson? Or is this yet another device to frighten and cow the few, the proud... the Kmart employess who have survived the pogroms? So many questions...
Among other things, The Daily Howler takes Talking Points Memo to task for (i) buying into the Repugnicant spin about the first Gore - Pinhead debate; and (ii) inacurrately portraying the role of the media whores in spinning a Gore victory into a Texecutioner coronation.
The Howler's article has some good background information about the crucial first debate of the 2000 presidential campaign and how it was used to accelerate the trashing of President Gore in anticipation of stealing the election from him in the case that it proved necessary. Which of course it ultimately did. We here at the Funny Farm remember that first debate and could not believe our ears when we were told that Gore lost (that was how it was originally spun - that Gore lost the debate, not that the Texas Souffle won it). Especially when the media whores focused on the minor details that Gore slipped up on, while ignoring the wholesale fabrications coming out of Drinky McDumbAss that day. It was hard for us to believe that, after such an appalling display of incompetence by pResident Who Cares What You Think?, the propaganda from the media whores was not rejected outright, much less that it was accepted, by the American people.
Then again, we have never had an administration that so brazenly lies to the populace and expects them to like the kimchee sandwich that they are being forced to eat every day. Somebody make it stop!
Everyone needs to watch last night's Daily Show.They opened by hammering O'Really? for his 'stoned slacker' allegations, proceeded to trash the debate formats, the Torturer in Chief, and inferring that they are the new Kings of News Media - a truism that we have held dear for some time now. Plus, they mixed in a lovely reference to blogs along the way! Extra bonus: this show has a Back In Black segment. Extra double bonus: Sy Hersh was the guest and he hammered pRezNit Never My Fault mercilessly. I sure hope there's some audio clips from the show in the next edition of BartCop Radio.
Funny Farm Super Extra Bonus: IF you didn't get a chance to catch this show, I might be persuaded to dub you a copy. Requests will be graded on originality, desperation of situation, and promises of filthy lucre.
Amazing as it may seem, we have actual physical proof that there are others out there who peer at these pages from time to time. Not those hundreds of hits that even a moderately successful blog can lay claim to (well, at least on the days when the site is not linked to by Bartcop - he linked to me twice and gave me over 1,000 hits each time). But it only takes one post about this site at another blog (like, say, the Ring Of Fire Enterprises blog) to make our head swell with pride (it's okay - we're hedonists here, and we think being proud of your accomplishments is sometimes justified) and consider the whole bloggy mess to be worth the trouble. Thanks very much for making my day!
* - With thanks and all due homage to Robin Williams for providing the inspiration for the title of this post.
It doesn't take much to confuse the heck out of us here at the Funny Farm these days. For example, I'm pretty sure these two articles are talking about the same economy:
Economic Growth Better Than Thought
Economy Grows at Weakest Rate in a Year
I guess it's just really surprising that all of the major media outlets are not in complete lockstep on every issue. Will heads roll at the Associated Press? Or will this particular economic writer be assigned to write about the finer points of the Mongolian economy from the middle of the Gobi Desert?
Ladies and gentlemen, we here at the Funny Farm would like to tell you that Kmart Corporation has already put up Christmas displays for public consumption. As unbelievable as it may seem, they have managed to get this display together before Hallowe'en!
These photos were secretly obtained by our intrepid staff here at the Funny Farm News Burro:
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Many thanks and much appreciation to Snoozy Q and new staff member MilkMee the Clown for their assistance in bringing this shocking story to light.
From the site Lies.com, courtesy of ToyBlog and The Poor Man, we get this chart comparing casualties in Vietnam and Iraq during the same relative time frame:
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I think it is particularly eerie that the spikes happened at almost exactly the same time during these wars, relatively speaking (especially the one at month 14). The magnitude of the spikes are somewhat, um, larger, in our current quagmire, but, you know, that's because there's a bumbling village idiot mucking about in the Oval Orifice these days.
We have moved some stuff around and added a few things to the links zone. Can you spot the difference?
[Ed. Note: This is as close as it gets to an acknowledgment that I do anything at all with the Links Zone. We don't generally welcome people into the fold, so to speak, because quite frankly we're somewhat embarrassed to have left them off of it for so long. We're quite honored to have our hard core followers who check us out from time to time, and we have almost figured out how to find all of you who link to us (even though most of you are still linking to the old zone and not the new one.). Now if we could only find the time to write something about it here... ]
Distorting the truth so that, when Faux Snooze originally tried to quash (or at least ignore) the Texas Souffle's 1976 DUI story unearthed by one of their enterprising field reporters (the librul bastitches that Freepertrash like to whine so much about), you report it as a story that was being driven by the big bux corpo-weasels to expose the truth, and further the greater glory of our modern-day savior, GeeWhatADumbAss by showing him to be a man of the people (coughcoughdrunkencokeheadedloutcoughcough) with human failings. Or something like that. I can't really hear the hypocrisy ditortions lies infotainment coming from your stations anymore. When I surf through them on the way to something not totally devoid of, like, facts and reporting and such.
It's especially rich to hear you talk that way after spinning the imperial pResidency so masterfully for over three years now. Talking about a network running with a story based on complete fabrication! Thank Koresh CBS has some journalistic integrity or maybe they would have tried to brazen this one out and ignore their wilful unsourcing. Not to suggest that this tactic was poisoning the well of that particular argument or anything like that...
Thanks to uber-blogger Atrios for pointing out this particularly ironic example of shameless media whore hypocrisy.
Jeebus' General has a couple of must reads for anyone who values life, liberty, and the American way. I know that some of you would have found these anyways, but everyone needs to check this out. Now.
Here's some more Aislin for you to savo(u)r while the links come up...
From my good friends Stu and Mary up in the Great White North:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. |
* - Like, the Great White North (like, at least the part where I come from, eh?) is, like, south of where I live, eh? So, like, I can say that the Great White North is south of the border, eh? Beauty...
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Thanks to BartCop for pointing this out to us here at the Funny Farm.
Kudos to the Vidiot for leading me to this article on CNN. For some strange reason I am a bit upset that the members of the House of Representatives, especially Tom Delay (R-Evil Incarnate), are getting a $4,000 raise starting in January. I guess I shouldn't feel too bad, though - it's only a 2.5% raise from their current salary of $158,100 per year. Oh yeah - Cheney gets a $5,075 raise from his current $203,000 government salary (no word on how much of an increase he gets from his employers at Halliburton next year). But the Torturer in Chief doesn't get any more added on to his $400,000 annual salary.
Maybe I am a little concerned. After all, government doesn't have as much money these days - they are giving it all to the rich and to corporations in tax breaks. So I'm kinda wondering wherer the money would come for these raises if we haven't got coin for other things (like promised funds for AIDS research and No Child Left Behind and other unfulfilled promises by the current junta). And I'm a little miffed personally - I haven't had a raise for three years now. Plus I am most definitely in a different snack bracket than these congresscritters, and the tax cuts are of no use to my pocketbook (in fact, they take more out of it in increased property taxes alone).
I guess I should consider myself lucky to still have a job - right, fat cats? Is that how we determine our life's worth - whether we are still employed in today's economy? No wonder I'm pissed...
Yes, it is possible that at long last we will be resuming our Friday Cat Blogging. But first:
In the category of unusual sightings, we saw a vehicle with Louisiana plates on it way up here in Michigan yesterday. we wonders if they were fleeing hurricane Ivan and couldn't find a room until they got up here; or they're in this area to watch the Ryder Cup. Either way, hope you enjoy your stay!
In the category of unusual happenings*, we would like to report that both of our hands have been scalded by hot coffee in the last 24 hours - once from a vending machine and once from unexpected contact with the in house coffee mistress here at the Mighty K**. We're waiting for the next scalding because we seem to follow the rule of threes*** quite a bit.
In the category of unusual reasons for doing things, we would like to report on a draft update we spied over at our blog host's blog about the upcoming draft if the Torturer in Chief gets re-electorated. This special message goes out to Ally the Roulette Queen: hon, if this does come to pass, and you get drafted, I think we should consider removing ourselves to a more northern location where you would not be compelled to risk your oh-so-valuable life so a greedy pinhead can get a bigger pile o'plunder serve in the military. This offer also goes out to our good friend Nurse Ratched should she require an extended vacation.**** Like, we have friends in the Great White North, eh? So, like, even if it gets a little tricky, like, getting into Canada, eh?, like, we can probably find a way to get you in, eh?
Here's a link to the latest on the draft:
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And here's a little humour from one of our favorite Canadian cartoonists:
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* - said unusual happenings happening at the Funny Farm with unusual frequency, especially of late...
** - about which, of course, she said "I have never done anything like that before". If we had a nickel for every time we heard that or "I've never seen anything like that before" or statements of that nature, we wouldn't have to be working for a living anymore...
*** - the rule of threes states that unusual things happen in threes quite often. We are intimately familiar with the concept...
**** - these are two of our favorite nurses. And nurses 18 - 34***** are being targeted in the proposed draft as far as I can tell...
***** -D'oh! We can't even read our own copy, and mistakenly reported that 25 - 34 year old nurses were being targeted for the draft. The Funny Famr News Burro regrets the error.
I hope that some people (coughcoughBartcopcoughcough) see this and realize that, yes, Kerry has some cojones. And he's planning on using them until the election (at least). This pretty much sums up pResident Never My Fault for me:
“Never wrong, never responsible, never to blame,” Kerry said. “President Bush’s desk isn’t where the buck stops. It’s where the blame begins.” |
Now if only he could get the media whores to listen to him...
Mad props to our good friend Kevin Hayden over at the American Street for bringing this to the attention of the Funny Farm.
It's generally not a good business practice to refuse to answer any questions from members until they give you a short resume and their life history for the past three years. Especially when the customer service representative (cough) grills you in a superbly condescending fashion when all you want is some non-account specific questions answered. And you don't have forever and a day to hand over all of your sensitive information to a complete stranger for no good reason at all.
It's also nice to know that this company would be treating non-members much worse than they treated someone who was actually paying their salary. Not to suggest that you should take your business away from HAP if it's at all possible or anything like that...
We're getting back into the swing of things, slowly but surely. Yes, we have heard about the the woman who was fired for having a Kerry/Edwards 2004 sticker on her car (by way of my good buddy Don over at Blah3), and I know about the lies analysis by the Little Green Fascists regarding the Killian memos. The Mahablog has done a most excellent job of pointing out their, um, lack of wisdom, intelligence, morals, and ethics in advancing their lies analysis of the situation. Just more of the same white noise emanating from the WhiteWash House since the Torturer in Chief usurped office. I can't even hear it anymore.
More shocking to me in my personal circle: I have been hanging out with someone who is very much a TVholic, and somewhat of a news junkie. This weekend I found out that he had never heard pRezNit Pinhead's mangling of the old expression "fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me". I could not believe that someone who focused on watching TV infotainment had never heard or seen this typical example of how ignorant Drinky McDumbAss is. For some strange reason, things like this do not convince me that the media is presenting an accurate picture of our current misleader.
Anyways,... never mind about that - we here at the Funny Farm hold fast in our belief that the four year national nightmare that has been the BFEE's latest attempt at installing fascism in Amerika is rapidly drawing to a close. And we'll be holding fast to that belief until the election gets stolen again (if it does). No, we don't want to worry about that right now. Instead, we want to show you (via our good friend Joni over at Lazy Days and Sunshine) the amazing Polygeek quiz from our other good friend Thudfactor. We particularly want to show you that, as usual, we are somewhat of a border child in this regard too:
| You are 46% geek | You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.
Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. |
Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com
Go and take the quiz yourself, and find out how geeky you truly are.
Well... it's been quite an intensive experience, this particular bout of pinkeye. My eyes are not a pair of baby blue saucers in pools of red for the first time in a week and a half. I'm not out of the woods yet - but I think I can finally see an end to this bout of illness. I still can't see a heck of a lot in bright light, and I gots to save what sight I have for work related programming activities, but it appears that I will be back to being an everyday ordinary Basic Force For Good In Our Time by next week.
In the meantime, I'd like to give a shout out and some wondrous props to Tina (with the awesome email moniker of Luthien Tinuviel) over at Tina's Shark Tank for pointing out that we have truly been part of the Coalition of the Wild Eyed since we became the Wild Eyed Wonder almost a fortnight ago...
* - with thanks to the Beatles for inspiring today's post title...
Out of pocket cost of prescription medicine without any health care plan: $60 Out of pocket cost of prescription medicine with health care plan copay: $35 Out of pocket cost of premiums for HMO and prescription drug plans through employers' plan:$1500 annually Knowing that your health coverage, considered to be above average for the industry, is a Cheneying craptastic piece of dren: Priceless |
This is being viddied through the walls of diseased glazzies. That's right, ladies and gents - the Pink Eye Brigade is in town. And I dropped my medication (thereby contaminating it and making it useless) so all I can do is wince while using eyewash rather frequently and wait for a replacement prescription to be phoned in to the pharmacy. Oh, yeah - and daub the gunk out (then scrub hands furiously) repeatedly in between. So that's been a little hindrance to our normal bloggy outrageousness of late.
Just thought you might like to know...
