The Funny Farm
Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats...
Adventures of a Basic Force For Good in Our TimeTM
A few things to get to in order to tidy up some more loose ends around here at the Funny Farm...
First off, a warm note of thanks to Brother Joe and Sister Sandy. We have had a nasty cold over the past few days, and they suggested we take something they have up there in the Great white North for colds. Due to their kindness and assistance we were able to get a dose of Cold FX into our system over the weekend. This must be one of the first times that we have ever heard something wise come out of Don Cherry (don't look directly at the blazer - either you'll go blind or slowly become mesmerized...), because we can almost breathe again, and we feel a whole lot better. We're still a little bit sick, but for the most part have gotten through the worst part. We would highly recommend that you find some of this to take next time you get a cold or the flu. Of course we can't be certain that this is FDA approved yet (it works, it's cheap, it's largely natural, it seems to be in the hands of someone who is not a wholly owned subsidiary of the pharmaceutical corporations, and it's not American - all signs pointing to it not being allowed to be consumed by the general population here in the States. so how did we get some? None of your frelling business, that's how...), but we're here to tell ya that it should be, and next time we get sick like this we'll be dragging our butts down south for some medicine.
Secondly, it seems that if you didn't think that yesterday was one of the greatest days in history for the advancement of democracy, you must be some sort of cheese-eating surrender monkey, or you boil babies for breakfast, or something like that. Well, we know that a sham a farce a poor substitute for an election took place in an occupied country halfway across the world over the weekend. We're reasonably certain that the wave of propaganda oozing from every orifice of the media whores is about as close to the reality-based world as a Rush Limbaugh Oxycontin hallucination. And we expected all of the rancid pond scum in the wrong wing would spooge their exultant jism all over the place, and denounce everyone who isn't busy wanking themselves over the Iraqi (farce of an) election as being enemy combatants who deserve a holiday in Gitmo. Oh yeah - and Instacracker seems to think that some American native historian who has blamed the white man for everything for years now is the voice of the left. This Reynolds guy is what kind of perfesser again? How big is the Department of Fraudulent Historical Revision at the University of Tennessee, anyway?
Finally, we were informed that an acquaintance (a good friend of a good friend - we'd be proud to call him our friend if only we knew him a bit better) from days gone by has started up a movement to Free the Stanley Cup from the clutches of the NHL (since 1947 only NHL teams have been allowed to compete for it) and turn it into a challenge cup once again. Zoots and his friends suggest a tournament between the winners of the Memorial Cup, the Allan cup, and the best minor league hockey team in Canada (from leagues like the AHL and the ECHL). We would like to expand it a bit and invite the winners of the World Cup of Hockey and the International Ice Hockey Federation World Hockey championship to compete for the Cup as well. Lord Stanley's Cup was originally supposed to go to the best hockey team in Canada every year. We think that the intent was for it to go to the best hockey team in the world (with Canada being considered the place where that team would normally reside - at the time the Cup was originally donated, Canada was the only place where hockey was being played, so the best hockey in the world was played there at the time), and that opening the competition up to all those foreign devils would possibly light a fire under the NHL player/owner negotiations currently stalled underway.
We didn't really want to put too much of a political element into the game we love so much until we saw this gem (cough) coming from a bloated (self-described) capitalist pig in America:
Free Stanley?
You hosers are losers, eh? I guess if you had a decent team in your socialist country - you wouldn't need to waste your time. I'm sure Lord Stanley meant the cup for the best team in North America, that team is the Tampa Bay Lightning until it is proven otherwise. What ever happened to the French-Canadian international spirit of tolerance, sympathy and justice? Go cry to the international court, while I laugh at your effort in futility. The Cup stays in Tampa Bay - until you win it back. Regards, A Capitalist American Pig |
With so many tauntings coming from an empty-headed food trough wiper capitalist pigdog, it is hard to know where to start. Many Canadians would find the idea of a French-Canadian international spirit of tolerance, sympathy and justice to be highly amusing (especially the non-French ones who have to deal with Quebecois intolerance quite a bit); the country isn't socialist (unless Great Britain is, too - Canada runs the same type of parliamentary government as they do); and Lord Stanley most assuredly knew about the arrogant, intolerant iceholes living in the country next door. He probably thought that the only thing Americans would want to do with sticks is use them to carve each other up (which, come to think of it, is pretty much all they want to do these days when they're on the ice) and would never imagine a team of Americans who would be able to compete for the Cup. Now, go suck at your large American Capitalist Teat before we give you such a nasty taunting that you will soil your clothes at the mere thought of it...
We were dismayed to see that somebody in Ohio shot his supervisor and a couple of other co-workers, then killed himself. Violence is never the solution to your problems (that's our theory, and we're sticking with it!).
But here's the unusual part. The supervisor who this melon offed was named Roy Thacker. Probably a common name - although we haven't heard it for some time. Not since we were living in Toronto in the eighties, and (hopefully a different) Roy Thacker was one of our co-workers at Tilden Car Rental (now a wholly owned subsidiary of National Car Rental). The Roy Thacker we knew was also a bit younger than us; the guy in the article is a few years older than we are. So we fervently hope that our old friend was not offed by his interaction with yet another mentally unbalanced individual residing in Ohio. And Roy, if you are within viewing distance of this post, give us a shout one of these days. We can reminisce about old times and catch up on our activities since we went our separate ways...
Fryday, 4 Shivring 2005
No, it isn't enough that the BFEE can vanish the photgraphic record when it decides that Jumpin Jack Abramoff is an unperson.
It isn't enough still that Putsch is flip-flopping about fifty times as much as anyone ever accused Kerry of doing (when he didn't) in the run-up to the 2004 selection when he now all of a sudden remembers to pass the boogeyman's name out of his vacuous piehole.
No, it's the inherent conservative media bias* that has gone too far as far as I'm concerned. If there was a Democratic scandal involving a bagman fundraiser like this for the Democratic party, it would be front page news, and blared out on the Conservative News Network and Faux Snooze all day every day. The deafening silence (relatively speaking) regarding Putsch's pledge to get bin Laden "dead or alive", the seeming lack of curiosity over the timing of boogeyman warning alerts, and the different levels of respect accorded to politicians by the media depending on which side of the aisle they're sitting on has been growing steadily for quite some time now. I wanted to let you know of yet another example of it available for viewing right here at the Funny Farm.
You might notice a boxed link on the left hand side in the Links Zone that shows how many days it has been since the Chimperor's first speechifying about bringing Osama in "dead or alive". Quelle surprise, ABC News has vanished their article about this down the memory hole. Thank goodness I found the original press conference** where this fooforaw all started. At least I can now point to the original - at least until the White House scrubs their files...
* - the article I saw about this for which I can't find the linkage being one of the reasons why it has taken so long to get this onto the website. Anyone who knows where I can find the article in question, please feel free to show me where I can find it in the comments to this post.
** - as well as a very interesting article from CBS news that shows fairly clearly a lot of the inherent conservative biases I'm talking about - independent Senatorial critter Patrick Leahy is designated a Democrat, a lot of the negative comments are coming out of Democratic mouths (when there were a large number of more virulent comments from the Publican side of the aisle), and it seems to paint a picture of scurrilous Democrats getting in the way of our glorious Chimperor. Funny how that works...
Long time chartist and frightfully insightfully delightful favorite here at the Funny Farm uses the Tim Russert argument to show us Social Security Problem Solved!. We assume that the Rapture would skew things a bit as well and wonder if the actuaries have factored that into their calculations yet...
What would you think if someone told you it was okay to start a life together with her even though she's still married to her second husband? That she doesn't really care about marriage anymore - she's just staying married because she's in the middle of bankruptcy proceedings with her husband, it's a lot of trouble to refill out the paperwork as a separated couple, and the only reason she's still married is to avoid all the hassle? And then she said that she doesn't want to get married again? What would you think if she ran out on you for someone else and then got married to number three within a month of finalizing the divorce from number two? Especially considering that this sort of thing is skirting the bounds of legality? Good thing marriage number two was in Ohio and number three was in Michigan. Maybe that's how the rules could be bent so easily...
What would you think if the woman who is going through bankruptcy with her second husband wants you to buy her a car even though she already has one? An overpriced one that was probably not a wise decision in the first place - but that's okay, because she can just abandon it and add it to the bankruptcy pile? Especially when there's a nice sucker significant other to bail her out and fill out the paperwork for another one? Of course, we were lied to assured that she would be making all the car payments, and handle all the insurance payments, too. And like the sap nice guy we are, we never even considered getting some sort of agreement on paper. What would you think if that person then ran out on you and stiffed you with three and a half years worth of car payments? And a repair bill for an accident she got into a couple of days before she abandoned you? And giggled while she did it? And also threw quite a few cheap shots in just for fun...
What would you think if she insisted that you buy a new house for the two of you to live together in, and then left you holding the bag? If she got you to rent a truck, drive 150 miles, load her stuff up, and bring it to the new digs? And get a friend of yours to help unload it. What would you think if she then refused to lift a finger to help you move the stuff out of your old house? And then insisted that it go into a storage space because she didn't want it cluttering up the new place? When all of her stuff is piled up all over the new house, and that's just fine with her... What would you think if she abandoned you and moved in with someone else into an apartment that is smaller than the house she insisted was too small for both of you to cohabitate in?
What would you think if you bought her all sorts of goodies, changed your habits and tried to compromise with her agenda - only to find that, to her, compromise means doing just what she wants to do, and forgetting about your own desires?
What would you think if you found out (after the fact of course) that she was planning on screwing you over from day one, and the vast majority of her statements were lies? What would you think if you found out (after the fact) she was cheating on you practically from the moment you thought the relationship started?
What would you think if someone who you thought was your friend decided that he wanted (someone who you thought was) your Sig-O, ignored your requests to be a decent, honorable friend and back off, and seduced her anyway? And then threatened you when you confronted him about it?
What would you think if both of these people, even after it should have been obvious that they were going to screw you over, lied to you promised that they would still try and talk to you, that even though the relationship was ending they would still continue the friendship? And then you didn't hear anything from them again?
What would you think if you found out that they were still using your address to deceive creditors about their financial status? And then were insulted and threatened when you asked them to please update their information with the credit card company so you don't have to deal with it any more?
Praise Jeebus that things were only this bad - we were a hair's breadth away from marrying the Psycho Hose Beast ourselves. And thank Koresh that we weren't one of those PSTD veterans who got messed up in the head by our Unelectorated Usurper. We're trying very hard not to imagine that scenario...
Gee, how could all those thoughts get into that crazy head of ours? Thanks so much, Mr. and Mrs. A$$hole, for your kindness, your upstanding ethical behavior, and especially your consideration for those who gave you their friendship and their love. Rest assured that, should we ever meet again, your behavior will be properly appreciated.
We would like to welcome a new progressive web site to the Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan: please go take a look at President Boxer when you get the chance. It is a group site put together by our good friend Madeleine Kane. And she's getting some input from some other familiar voices as well as some that are new to us. Plus some more that got added after we put together all of these links...
We would like to wish them well in their new digs. We'll be checking in from time to time to see how they're doing, and we would advise youse to do the same.
We were extremely disappointed to see that Senator Debbie Stabenow of Michigan chose to give in to the dark side and approve Condiliar as the nation's Secretary of State. We were so disappointed that we sent her the following note:
Senator Stabenow:
I cannot comprehend what kind of logic you used in order to justify voting to confirm this horrible monster as Secretary of State. Previously, I had respected and honored your principles and ethics with regards to many of your votes in the Senate. I thought you were better than this. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should also be aware that you have now lost my support. I will actively campaign for finding someone with principles to represent the Democratic Party the next time your Senate seat comes up for re-election, and, should you be the Democratic candidate, I will vote for someone else. Enjoy your thirty pieces of silver. Hope you can buy a conscience with them someday. A Former Stabenow supporter |
Who else could we be referring to other than The Poor Man's favorite wrongwing nutcase, Kaye Grogan? We were somewhat disappointed that the Editors (coughcoughyousecretidentityissafewithme!coughcough) could not be bothered to show the proper tone of disrespect towards her current venomous screed. so we decided to help out a little: Here's the original in all it's (cough) glory. We've thoughtfully added a few comments of our own below.
Third term presidency amendment idea . . . should be nixed
Kaye Grogan, January 24, 2005 If there is one thing the country doesn't need it's a possible third term presidency from former President Bill Clinton. Why should he get a third chance to mess things up? It's taken awhile to restore things back to normalcy in the White House, as it is. Rumors are swirling all around that a compromise could be reached between the Republicans and Democrats, if some of the Republicans would help to amend the Constitution allowing former or current presidents to run for a third term, in exchange for amending the Constitution so Gov. Schwarzenegger of California, who is not a natural born citizen of the United States, can run for president, if he so desires. But wait guys and gals, before you get too carried away there's this little thing called ratification before any amendment to the Constitution can be considered legal. And both proposals have about as much chance of passing through the required procedures successfully, as a balloon's chance of staying inflated after a pin puncture. Republican Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah, really needs to take a long rest, if he thinks the Constitution needs amending to allow California's Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to be eligible to run for president. Hatch is overlooking the whole picture. Has he stopped to ponder who else in the United States might be eligible to run under his ridiculous proposal? I think we have enough born in the good ole' USA potential presidential candidates, without allowing outsiders to be included. The country is already in enough trouble without adding more problems to accentuate the "not so positive" aspects in government. Somehow try as I might, I can't visualize a pleasant picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office. I just can't seem to shake the image of the actor as the "Terminator." Yes, I know Ronald Reagan was a former movie star, but he played out roles in a more respectful, non-violent fashion. Is someone paying these people to come up with all of these off-the-wall suggestions? Well, in Senator Hatch's case yes . .. . you are. Many of the so-called constitutional experts are in agreement that Bill Clinton could be a viable presidential candidate again, if the 22nd Amendment was amended. God, spare us from that possibility! I know that Bill Clinton would love to make 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue his permanent address, but dream on. Maybe it's time some egos were deflated. Do we really need leaders who are self-serving and seek to puff up their own big heads? And do we really need a former president (who was impeached), to serve a third term? Two terms is enough for anybody to serve, including House Representatives and Senators. Term limits are needed to avoid congressional members from getting too "cozy" with special interest groups, and big businesses. No, term limits are not carried out in the voting booths. Some people don't have sense enough to oust bad politicians, they would still vote for them, regardless. Heck, Lizzie Borden could probably be elected to serve in a governmental position, if she had a "donkey" in her barn. Has Bill Clinton decided his former first lady doesn't have what it takes to get them moved back into the White House? It would be interesting to know her take on the idea of her husband being the president for a third term. But good luck on getting a straightforward answer from Hillary Clinton. Personally, I think the bottom line here is power. Being in control is the only thing that can satisfy the soul for some people, and many are in agreement this pair fits the bill for an insatiable appetite for power. The Clintonians need to work on not being so transparent, because I see them at the crossroads where you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time. And I'll leave it to you to decide . . . which crossroad they are on now. |
This has been a public service courtesy of the Funny Farm.
Editor's Note: this post has been temporally enhanced for your viewing pleasure.
We found a couple of pieces of mind candy that we thought you might enjoy checking out:
Raser Technologies, Inc. Patents Advanced Electric Motor Technology. The gist of the article is that this company states that, with simple changes to existing electric motors, and less reliance on rare materials (the company states China controls over 90% of one of the exotic materials used in current permanent magnet motors) - which they also claim should reduce manufacturing costs - manufacturers will be able to get significant increases in power, performance, and efficiency from electric motors. Which would be pretty good news for hybrid vehicle technology. It looks kosher from this non-engineer's viewpoint. Maybe some of those who are qualified to evaluate this could check it out a bit and see if these guys are on the level?
Speaking of levels, Lakes Michigan and Huron have permanently lost a foot of water because of erosion in the St. Clair River caused by dredging and other man-made meddling according to an article available in today's Detroit Free Press. All told, the dredging and erosion has accounted for a water loss from the lakes equivalent to 28 Lake St. Clairs, according to the report.
You might consider this sinking to a new low around here. Then again, we seem to have been below the waterline for some time now. We might consider floating out a couple more clever plays on words, but considering the lowered water levels around here, we just might run up on a sandbar if we're not too careful...
Xoverboard explains why we don't watch any of the fine television programming (cough) available these days. We would like to add that the points August makes about The Osbornes, the Jessica and Nick braindead-fest, the whole reality (cough) TV excuse to tame the actors' union phenomenon, and Paris and Nicole rubbing everyone's noses in how much better off they are than you can ever hope to be, can be applied to television news (cough) broadcasts, faux debate shows such as Crossfire, and the Faux Network stations in all of their different configurations.
We are in complete agreement with Mr. Pollak's basic point that we all know television is designed to make us stupid. That could be one of the reasons why we have stopped watching it (with a few notable exceptions coughcoughDailyShowSimpsonslivesportingeventscoughcough). But even then, we have noticed that the Faux broadcasts are trying to insert their particular brand of conservative spin into sporting events (the Randy Moss faux mooning was one recent example - funny how they get so uppity when someone else steals their schtick). Somehow we're not at all sure that Joe Sixpack is going to be getting that new Hummer any time soon. But it must be really good to see ads for it (and deal with the subconscious realization that, no, you'll never be able to afford one - even if you wanted one in the first place) on a continual basis while you're watching the game.
We are very pleased to note that Air America Radio is now broadcasting in the metro Detroit area on WDTW - 1310 on your AM dial. Tune in and give our fellow progressives a listen...
A few days earlier, we mentioned that we are having a bit of trouble coping with our own personal nightmare. We've noticed a few unusual happenings here at the Funny Farm that might have some bearing on this situation.
In particular, we noticed something odd - there have been a number of occasions where we expected some mail to show up at our humble abode, and our mailbox was empty. Not even the usual handouts and flyers that were in everyone else's mailbox that day. Plus, some expected documentation has not shown up - even after we contacted those who sent us the documents, and were informed that, yes, they did mail it to us, and we should have already gotten it.
You can imagine our surprise, then, when we saw a letter from Capital One addressed to the Psycho Hose Beast in our mailbox. After we were lied to assured that she had updated her address to reflect her new living arrangements (we guess that means "except for the credit cards we applied for after we left you"). It appears to us that somebody wants to use our good name (and credit history) for their own benefit (we're reasonably sure that this credit card was obtained after she ran out on us). Don't you love such honest, ethical behavior from those who pretended to be close to you? We guess that old habits die hard for some people...
We can only imagine what else is in store for us until we can get the hell out of our current domicile and find a new place to call home. Just one more mess to have to clean up after. Funny how some think that they can do whatever they want, and have someone else clean up after them. Does that remind you of any Unelected Usurpers you know?
We would also strongly advise anyone out there who considers this to be appropriate behavior to sod off and find themselves another patsy - we aren't playing that game with your sorry ass anymore. Oh - and maybe you should contact Capital One and give them your correct address - they'll probably be contacting you shortly about your fraudulent behavior. And stop taking mail from our mailbox - we do believe that taking someone else's mail is some sort of federal crime*.
* - we got the contact information for Capital One from their web site. And then put the letter back in our mailbox with a note that this individual is no longer residing at our address (after contacting Capital One and bringing them up to speed on the fraud being perpetrated on them).
Update : we tried contacting those who have done this, and ask them why there are still items addressed to them as if they still lived here, to please not use our address for their own purposes any more, and to update their contact information with their credit card company**. We were greeted with hostility and disrespect for our efforts, and told that "the post office must've missed putting a forwarding label on that envelope". Which is all well and good - except it's been over three months now since this congenital liar ran out on us. One would think that they would be able to send an update to the credit card company so they would send their mail to the correct address without the need for a forwarding address during that time. You know, like normal civilized people do? Unless, of course, there is some sort of fraudulent behavior going on, and they don't want the credit card companies to know where they are.
You would also think that civilized people would appreciate the effort to update them, and take steps to give the correct information to the company they are getting credit from. Instead we have been accused of tampering with the mail and informed that legal steps are being considered against us. And told that we are mentally deficient. We didn't hear the rest of the message that was kindly (cough) deposited on our answering machine at work, but judging from the tone of voice we heard up to that time, we're relatively sure there was a considerable amount of venom in it all the way through. Funny, that - you try to be nice to someone who has disrespected you, and all you get is lies, threats, and spiteful comments intended to twist the knife in some more. Does that sort of behavior ring any bells with any of our faithful readers? It sure sounds to us like somebody's a little pissed that they got caught. Anybody know of any other deserting weasels like that?
** - yeah, we probably should have just talked to the credit card company and left it at that, instead of trying to find out what motivates someone to be this inconsiderate (by asking "Why does this credit card still have the wrong address on it?"), and get them to leave us alone. We're reasonably certain that we won't be making that mistake again any time soon
In honor of the recent coronation of The Chimperor, we put an old favorite into the CD player the other day. Many of the songs seemed to be eerily appropriate for our current dilemma. We'd like to share some of those lyrics with you today.
The album is Edge of Allegiance by Timbuk3.
National Holiday
They put the chairs out on the lawn Everything's ready for the big parade So let's all sing the national anthem The chiefs of staff called a session |
Waves of Grain
It was a nice clean assassination Sailing safely out of sight Then someone snatched the video-8 The blown up stills told the story Now the pictures have been confiscated Now rummaging through the ravaged rubble |
Standard White Jesus
Baby boom go boom Better bow down to the standard white Jesus on the cross They want flash - somethin' awesome See the devils and the angels Bow down to the standard white Jesus on the cross How grim our lives would be Bow down to the standard white Jesus on the cross |
Grand Old Party
The party's over Maybe we ate too much We donned our disguises, ate appetizers Ohhh...my...heat seaking whistles and miguided missiles Now sometimes I dream that my life is on trial |
It seems that there are a lot of people getting in a lather because the Torturer in Chief crowned himself Chimperor the other day. Just because there were three times as many Gestapo security personnel as there were spectators. After all, how else is Drinky McDumbAss going to get the point across to those traitorous, freedom-hating questioners of the Royal Vision French-loving purveyors of evil non-Republic voters in DC? If they would only have voted for the one true Leader who will bring a shining beacon of freedom to our divided land with his crushing mandate, they would learn in time just how to be Putsch's bitch.
Anyways,... as usual there are many who can express our disdain for the latest propaganda extravaganza from the junta better than we can:
Natalie Davis writes a personal account of here experience at the coronation which you can see at Open Source Politics.
Bill Scher over at Liberal Oasis show us exactly how much of the Unelected Usurper's screed was non-reality-based (hint: how can you tell when a Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter is lying?).
Lambert over at Corrente laments for the good old days when the First Whore Lady's $700 haircut would have had the Media whores in a lather for a solid presidential term.
TBogg the Landsnark talks about some poor Freepertrash that tried to disrupt a Pinhead protest.
Of course my good friend Bartcop gets all up in pResident Do As I Say, Not As I Do's face
Jeralyn over at Talk Left has a set of photos of the stormtroopers security elements abusing protesters.
Our good friend LA Rick, The Hollywood Liberal (you mean there's only one?) has some more pictures and commentary (but no post links; go to his site and start looking - the coronation stuff is at the top of the blog right now).
Steve Soto over at The Left Coaster informs us that even the parade route was restricted to Chimp fellators. Funny how that never got mentioned by the media whores fluffing the BFEE that day.
David Neiwert of Orcinus says that the Idiot Son Of An A$$hole sounds like he thinks he is a prophet in the humble (cough) service of the Invisible Cloud Being.
This is Class Warfare provides us with his own take on the coronation.
Avedon Carol at The Sideshow has her own set of coronation posts for you to viddy.
Of course we would be remiis if we didn't link to O-Dub and the video of the latest Faux News meltdown.
And finally (for us), The Talking Dog warns Democrats to take off their pink tutus and start giving us an alternative to the badminstration's all corpo-weasel fellation, all the time mentality. To which we say: "Praise Jeebus! A voice of sanity in the wilderness.".
Lots of snow here in metro Detroit will probably prevent us from taking our guest to the Pistons game tonight - but you never know. We hope you have some nice in-house snow day activities lined up, and we hope you manage to amuse yourselves sufficiently this weekend.
[Note: we're dropping out of our normal third-person writing style for this one. This time it's personal...]
This is getting to be too much for me. The personal nightmare that was gleefully foisted on me late last year by those closest to me seems to have lowered my tolerance for unfeeling inhuman monsters who like to take advantage of their fellow man (imagine that!). Combine that with the continual assault on our liberties by the traitorous Repugnicants currently running this country into the ground, and you could be dealing with some serious mental mindfrelling. Not to the level our brave soldiers face when they have to confront reality once again (or to the level their unfortunate innocent victims face, either*.), but still...
Which I guess is a long-winded way of saying that I really don't want the personal betrayal of some trailer trash to be affecting me like this. I guess it sometimes happens when you're abandoned by those you hold close, and then left to stew about it in isolation** (and I'm also guessing that now is one of those times). I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the dozens of regulars who have seen it creep into these pages over the last few months. Every other minute All day and all night Occasionally it's more than I can bear...
Hoo boy! Now that I've gotten that out of my system (hopefully), I would also like to take this opportunity to show you a few things I found by way of some of my friends on the Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan:
Via The Sideshow and Bad Attitudes (for some reason the name of this blog stuck a chord of resonance with me these days), I am informed that the FEC is harassing a company whose owner was a major Kerry contributor by the good folks over at Campaign Extra.
Also via The Sideshow and Bad Attitudes I see that the crooked cop in Tulia who sent a lot of people to jail with fraudulent charges, made-up evidence, and lies, has been given a slap on the wrist for his behavior in uniform. Must be all those compassionate conservatives in Texas who feel like it's okay to send the riff-raff to prison based on no evidence and some trumped up falsehoods by one of their own good ole boys. Did I mention that the cop's on record making racial slurs, and that all of his victims were minorities?
I also see, via quite a few people fighting the good fight these days, that Riverbend over at Baghdad Burning has a book deal. Congrats!
And finally, most of our compatriots have already linked to a site which details why There Is No Crisis in Social Security. You should go take a look and see what the latest Putsch handjob propaganda disinformation campaign is trying to lie to us about.
* - trollphylactic: I don't like terrorists or groups of religious zealots who enforce their version of their Invisible Cloud Being's laws on their own. And I don't consider them innocents in this situation. But the Iraqi citizens who are being murdered just because they're in the wrong place at the wrong time - that's a different story altogether.
I also do wish to impugn the good name of monsters or all denizens of trailer parks - I'm sure that some good natured souls inhabit the mobile home subdivisions in various locations...
** - I have had tremendous (one could almost say sanity-saving) support from family, friends, and fellow bloggers. I do not wish to slight them in any way for helping me deal with this. But now there's an echo in the halls of my humble abode that I can't quite seem to get rid of...
From Reuters:
US Economy Is Strong with Low Inflation and Fed Beige Book Says Economy Stronger.
From the Associated Press:
Consumer Prices Dip at End of 2004. Funny thing, though - the headline on Yahoo's front page reads Inflation on Fastest Pace Since 2000 (which sorta explains the title of this post). Gee, we wonder why AP changed the title of this article?
Today's assignment: can you correctly set up a trackback to this post on your blog?
Mea culpa: we here at the Funny Farm have tried to do a lot of trackbacks (since we're linking to all and sundry on an almost daily basis), but sometimes we get a report from our blog activity logs saying that the trackback was not successful. Our current bloglord has been trying to be a Force For Good In Our TimeTM (even more so than he usually does), so we haven't bothered him about this possible problem (we could just be frelling up the process on our end, you know...) or any of the others we have ran into for the last few months. Maybe we will ask again in the next few months...
Update: we have now been officially (cough) promoted to Blogger First Class but we can't add the Blogger's Trackback Badge to our memento collection. Rook says we are cheating because we don't use Haloscan for our comments system (Moveable Type handles it automagically for us), and that the test was for those bloggers only. He also informs us that we are already in the Blogger First Class category. We are extremely flattered by this...
For bringing increased levels of public debt by giving tax breaks to the elite of America;
For sending over 1300 young Americans to be killed for a few more oil dollars in his owner's pockets;
For setting up a nepotistic partisan hierarchy in the office of most government agencies;
For refusing to listen to anything except what he wants to hear;
For claiming that his coronation inauguration is being wholly paid for by corporate donations while stiffing Washington DC with a $12 Million dollar services bill;
And, for buying the media so that they will parrot whatever kimchee pours out of the Torturer in Chief's pie-hole;
The following corpo-weasels would like to shower tons of money on you so that we can tell you how to pay us off for all that scratch. Don't worry, Pinhead - we're sure they'll let you know just how you can help them.
pResident Drinky McDumbAss - proud to be whoring for corporations and the elite in Washington DC since 2000!
Editor's note: this post can also be found at Open Source Politics.
The Funny Farm would like to congratulate Ma and Pa Kettle on the occasion of their 45th wedding anniversary. We were fortunate enough to have a chance to go to their celebration on Sunday and enjoy the company of some relatives whom we haven't seen for a while. Fortunately the awkward questions were kept to a minimum and we were able to stay relatively upbeat during our time there.
We also got the chance to catch an episode of Desperate Housewives before we toddled back to the border. As you might be aware, we're not that big into the drivel pouring out over the broadcast waves for the last, oh, ten years or so. Reality (cough) TV doesn't do a lot for us; the comedies are all right but not anywhere near as good as a lot of the classics, and the fascination with crime dramas and police work has always puzzled us. And, we gotta tell ya, the show we saw last night seemed to us to be very similar to Soap, except with crappier writing and acting, and more silicone-augmented eye candy*.
We hope that our dozens (cough) of faithful readers have themselves some good times this weekend as well. We'll get back to our highlighting of the 1600 Crew's criminal activities (contain your excitement, please!) later on this week - possibly even tomorrow if our muse inspires us. Go check out the latest news that the Media Whores won't tell you by visiting the sites over on the LHS in the Funny Farm Links Zone until we can get back to you...
* - although we'd be more than happy to welcome Diana Canova into our home any time...
From Digby we were able to find this gem from one of Bill O'Really?'s propagandafests broadcasts. In this example of blatant media fraud, Bill brings on wrongwingnut Hugh Hewitt on to fluff Instacracker and those wonderfully objective FReepertrash bloggers over at Powerline. Funny, how they mention that they couldn't find the Kos disclosure, when it has been right up in the top left hand corner of the web page you see when you bring up Kos' site. Funny how they throw in references to Dan Rather - but none to Judith "Kneepads" Miller. Funny how the unfairly unbalanced Faux News can smear and lie about others and not get called on it.
Maybe we should make all those lefty blogs (who must be on George Soros' payroll; don't you know, he's using his vast wealth on a personal crusade against BabyDoc Bush, and he owns half of the liberals in the world! Or something like that. It was on Instacracker the other day, so it must be true...) put some sort of identifying symbol on their web pages. Then it'll be easier to round them all up when they have been found to have displeased the Idiot King. You know, by telling him unpleasant truths or making him deal with things he can't be bothered with. Maybe you could drum up a new position in the administration - undersecretary of blog decency standards ro something like that. Staff it with one of your many cronies (the same way you've staffed most of the government with your cronies since 2000) and start sending lefty bloggers to Gitmo! You could even visit Little Green Footballs or the Free Republic. They probably already have a list...
Yes, we have become so numb to all of the propaganda emanating from the 1600 Crew that it hardly makes an impact any more when the latest lies are exposed.
And, this isn't even a new lie. We knew before the Deserting Usurper stole the election in 2000 that he was a lying drunken cokeheaded deserter. Funny how none of our wingnut relatives wouldn't believe it - even with, you know, facts and proof to validate the claim - that any Repugnicant would ever consider such an immoral action. Especially considering how they prattled on about the ClenisTM and how evil he was (and later on about the Gore-bot and how evil he was. And then about Kerry, and how evil he was).
We've given up on trying to discuss this with them. In fact we've given up on expecting any sort of rationality from them on this subject. But, maybe, just maybe, they haven't given up on trying to rejoin the Reality-Based Community. In that vain and slim hope we present to you a link to an extensive list of the deserting activities of the drunken lying thieving cokehead* currently illegally occupying the White House.
* - as opposed to the drunken lying thieving deserter who left us and is currently occupying a two bedroom apartment** with her drunken lying a$$hole girlfriend thief, and whose extensive deceit to us we are only beginning to find out about.
** - after telling us that our two bedroom house, which is still bigger than the apartment she moved into, was too small for the two of us to live in, and that, if we wanted to cohabitate, we needed to buy a bigger house for us both to live in. Funny how that (and so many other things she told us) was shown to be absolute fabrication. It's almost as if she still is, and has always been, a card-carrying Republic that worships at the feet of Drinky McDumbAss...
Well,... it seems like it is a surprise to all of the government bought private economists, anyway:
U.S. Trade Deficit Soars to All-Time High
By MARTIN CRUTSINGER, AP WASHINGTON - America's trade deficit soared to an all-time high of $60.3 billion in November, reflecting record levels for imports of everything from oil and consumer goods to farm products, the government reported Wednesday. The Commerce Department said the November deficit was up 7.7 percent from an imbalance of $56 billion in October, which had been the previous monthly record. The new record caught private economists by surprise. They had been forecasting a slight narrowing in the November trade gap. The trade deficit through November totaled $561.3 billion, far above the previous annual record of $496.5 billion set in 2003, and put the country on track to record a trade imbalance topping $600 billion when the December figures are added. The November deficit reflected record imbalances with a number of countries including Canada, South Korea and Russia. The largest deficit as usual was with China, although the $16.6 billion gap was down slightly from October. Critics point to the yawning deficits as evidence that President Bush's trade policies are not working. Democrats contend that the administration has not done enough to protect American workers from unfair competition from low-wage foreign countries such as China. The administration counters that the trade gap is primarily a reflection of a U.S. economy that has been growing faster than most of the rest of the world. [-snip-] If foreigners suddenly decide that they do not want to hold dollars in payment for the foreign goods that American consumers love to purchase, it could put added downward pressure on the American currency, which has been declining in value against a number of other currencies for the past three years. The administration insists it still favors a strong dollar policy although it has done nothing to slow the greenback's decline, a drop that economists believe eventually will help to narrow the trade gap by making U.S. products cheaper on overseas markets and imports more expensive in the United States. [-snip-] Imports in November rose 1.3 percent to an all-time high of $155.8 billion. This increase was led by an 11.8 percent jump in petroleum products, which hit a monthly record of $19.4 billion. [-snip-] |
Gee, we wonder if those private (cough) economists were perhaps bribed convinced that the trade deficit would be going down, even though most of the (unbribed, independent) economists we read have been saying that we need to fix the trade deficit now or we're frelled.
We were also interested to see that $600 Billion of America's worth has been shifted to other countries. This year. But, don't worry, you'll still probably get that $300 tax cut in April!
We also think it would be worthwhile to note that, according to the experts (cough), our economy has been growing faster than most of the rest of the world. Funny, the KMart workers we know who have been unemployed for over two years now would be very interested in finding any jobs in that fast-growing economy. It seems to some of them that we're in the midst of a depression recession, and that the economy has sucked royally since the Torturer in Chief usurped power in 2000.
What an amazing coincidence that the fats cats in power have been snowing us on how well things are in this great nation. You know, considering that, if they can confuse everyone enough, they'll be able to loot even more of everyone else's money. If they know the right people, they can even do it while being subsidized by the government. What a country!
Oops, we mean God-Fearing "Values" (cough) Christians. Funny how it's hard to tell them apart these days...
Anyways,... we were checking out the headlines over at Yahoo, and what should we see but an article titled 'Supreme Court Lets Stand Florida's Gay Adoption Ban'. The money quotes:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Supreme Court refused on Monday to hear a constitutional challenge to a 1977 Florida law that bans gays and lesbians from adopting children, the only such state law in the nation.
Without comment, the high court declined to consider whether the law, which was adopted at the height of entertainer Anita Bryant's anti-homosexual campaign, unfairly singled out gays and lesbians in violation of their constitutional rights.
[-snip-]
A federal judge in Miami and a U.S. appeals court upheld the law. The Atlanta-based appeals court said the issue of gay adoptions should be decided by the Florida legislature, not by the courts
Isn't it interesting to note that, in some states, (besides the rich who live by a completely different set of rules than the rest of us), some people are more equal than others? Maybe Florida should make all of those homos wear something on their clothes. Some sort of symbol so that all the God fearing Christians would know they were homos - you know, so that they could proselytize them and make them see the error of their sinful ways, or humiliate them publicly? And so that all the God fearing Christians would be able to shun their businesses, picket their employers and get them out of the work force. Maybe you could make it illegal for gays to work for the government while you're at it? And illegal for gays to collect unemployment or social security? That would show them queers what real God fearing Christian people think about their blasphemous lifestyle choice.
It sure shows us another example of the Compassionate Conservatism that anyone who still sides with these Repugnicant bastiches is promoting (whether they think they are or not).
Well, not really. This actually appeared in the comments section of a South Knox Bubba post:
The Republic mullet:
Business in the front |
Thanks to hellbent for this reailty-based definition.
The spammers are lurking around the Funny Farm emailbox these days. So just FYI there will be an extremely limited window for posting your thoughts about our meaunderings for others to see.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
And it's a frelling show tune to boot. For some strange reason my melon commanded my fingers to Google up most of the words to this oldie but goodie:
The Inquisition [Hooded monk speaks to the camera, and introduces the lead singer for the next number...] All pay heed! Now enters his holiness, Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition. [Mel Brooks and his lackeys singing...] The Inquisition (Let's begin) [Cut to two old Jewish guys hanging by their wrists who start talking to each other] "I was sitting in a temple. I was minding my own business. "I'm sittin' flickin' chickens and I'm lookin' through the pickins' and suddenly these goyim pull down walls. [Back to Mel Brooks and his lackeys singing...] The Inquisition (what a show) [Someone calls over to Torquemada while in the middle of a routine ...] "Hey Torquemada, walk this way." [Torquemada speaks to a row of prisoners] Will you convert? "No, no, no, no." [Someone calls over to Torquemada again ...] "Hey Torquemada, walk this way. [Mel Brooks, as Torquemada, spins a huge slot machine, with Jews in place of the cherries, lucky 7's, etc. on the slot wheel. It comes up a winner, and gold starts pouring out of the machine. Torquemada leans over to a flunky and says, "Put it in the car..."] "How we doin', any converts today?" [A bunch of nuns appear surrounding a pool of water. They shad their robes to reveal bathing suits, dive into the pool, and perform an old-style aquatic musical number. Some Jews are seen shooting down slides and into the water. The nuns surround the Jews, and pull them under water. Than the rest of the cast joins for the big chorus line at the end of the song..] The Inquisition, what a show. lyrics from History of the World, Part I by Mel Brooks |
What Digby says. We wish he would have put more of Tamara Baker's letter in his post because the link is bloggered - but this is easily the best set of posts we have had the pleasure of seeing of late. Plus, he led us to this gem from soon-to-be Links Zone denizen the Rude Pundit* and a very kewl discourse about life in the Red States (among many other things...)..
Now, where is that frelling Koufax Awards site again? Oh, yeah - you can get to it right over there in the links zone, as well as check back in on the Koufax hosts as the tension builds and the excitement mounts for awarding prizes to a bountiful crop of writings over the last twelve months. As are many others, we are longing to hear the screams emanating from certain quarters sometime in the next few weeks. Until then, we're sure you can get your fill of mind candy over somewhere in the Links Zone if you're interested...
Update early Fryday morning: Also most definitely what Q says as well. A must-see posting on the Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan!
* - Warning! some sites in the Funny Farm Links Zone may contain offensive language, linkage, allusions and/or graphical images which may be unsuitable for underage glazzies to viddy**. Your mileage may vary.
** - glazzies are eyeballs To viddy is to see. First non friend-or-family*** to email us**** with the name of the work and the name of the creator of that work wins a deck of vintage Repugnicant chickenhawk cards. Hell, the first three who manage to get it right can have a deck. It's still Christmas over here at the Funny Farm!*****
*** - who can always get an extra deck if they're not playing with a full one now by merely requesting it through the proper channels. And you know who you are...
**** - by using the Talk To Me gadget over on the LHS above the links zone. Offer void in households where it may be deemed offensive. Earliest date / timestamp from emails received will determine winners in case of a tie.
***** - Those who know us all too well are aware of the awesome reality embodied in this statement.
We see that our good friend Jo Fish, the Democratic Veteran, has noticed that the Pomp and Splendor Repugnicant Republic Party is now overtly accepting kickbacks stuffing their wallets with even more ca$h seeking to hold private positions while running the country into the ground. Hasn't Pencil Dick been doing that all along?
House GOP to Discuss Ethics Rule Changes WASHINGTON In the aftermath of ethics rebukes of their popular but controversial majority leader, Tom DeLay of Texas*, House Republicans today are expected to consider rule changes that would make it harder to bring ethics complaints against [-snip-] The proposed rule changes are among the first orders of business of the new, more [-snip-] The effort to change the rules comes amid reports that House leaders also are considering replacing Rep. Joel Hefley (R-Colo.) as chairman of the Committee on Standards of Official Conduct, as the ethics committee is formally known. Under Hefley's leadership, the committee rebuked DeLay twice last fall for his hardball political tactics. DeLay was admonished for allegedly (cough) involving a federal agency in a Texas partisan matter and staging a fundraising event in a way that appeared to link access to the congressman with political donations. He also was criticized for saying he would support the campaign of a retiring congressman's son to succeed his father if the congressman voted for legislation adding a prescription drug benefit under Medicare. The rebukes angered many of DeLay's fellow Republicans, who In November, House Republicans changed a party rule to allow DeLay to hold onto his leadership post even if indicted. Two months earlier, a Texas grand jury indicted three fundraisers with ties to DeLay for allegedly funneling illegal corporate contributions to GOP candidates for state office. DeLay's allies contend that the Texas inquiry is politically motivated and designed to weaken one of Congress' most powerful members***. [-snip-] But some lawmakers are concerned that the wording of the Code of Conduct is too broad. Some [-snip-] |
Since ethics rules for Repugnicant bastiches is pretty much a contradiction in terms anyways, this does not particularly surprise us. However, it might make the already tense conversations we have with Repugnicant hypocrites even more angst-ridden...
* - funny how these degenerate toads never considered any rules changes when Democrats others were alleged to have done something wrong, isn't it?
** - no, we didn't think it was possible for them to more corrupt than they already are, either...
*** - even though there is more than enough evidence to pursue these charges, the prosecutor involved has pursued similar lines of investigation against more Democratic candidates than Repugnicant ones, and when Democratic lawmakers have been in similar circumstances, the Sugarland Roach has been among the most bloodthirsty voices calling for the offenders' head on a platter.
Via everyone's favorite Blog Of Seven (which we will get around to updating to the blog of seven in the links zone sometime soon. They'll probably be the blog of dozens by the time we do...), we see that the morally upstanding (cough) corpo-weasels at Wal-Mart, while refusing to stock any CDs with parental advisories on them, and famously refused to sell one of Sheryl Crow's CDs because it dared to criticize them for selling guns to children, proudly carries Birth of a Nation, the racist film based on a book about the Ku Klux Klan. They also carry the book the film was based on, and the rest of the racist screeds penned by that author. Until they received enough complaints to think about taking action, they also carried the anti-Semitic tripe misleadingly called The Protocols of the Elders of Zion (that sounds like a title of a Zionist manual to us - but hey, what do we know? We're just a goy!).
Quick question for all of my relatives who gush about how much they like Wal-Mart, and how good all of the prices are there - do you enjoy supporting corporations that are morally hypocritical about this sort of thing? Or do you just not care - as long as you can get that $20 DVD player you've always wanted?
