The Funny Farm
Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats...
Adventures of a Basic Force For Good in Our TimeTM
Tuesday, 6 Conclusion 2005
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Sunday, 5 Conclusion 2005
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
Thanks to fellow former OSPer Kenneth Quinnell over at T. Rex's Guide To Life for pointing us in the general direction of this quiz.
Saturday, 4 Conclusion 2005
Well, we've had a wonderfully refreshing week away from our place of gainful employment, and our usual haunts on the internets, as well as a fantastic journey to some of the finest and most challenging golf courses on the planet (courtesy of our XBox and Tiger Woods 2004), so now we come back to find that those BFEE pinheads are still up their usual tricks. What a surprise! How fast do you think we'll be back with our heads looking over at the sand while sinking our birdie putts on the big screen?*
In the meantime:
Wonderful (cough) news from the fledgling MiniTrue minions currently honing their skills under the Putsch regime: a woman is harassed when she refuses to show identification on public transportation. Does anyone know if the transit cops can so this sort of thing right now on public subways? Or is this just another ho-hum for the sheeple who can't even feel the noose tightening?
Plus, in some startling (cough) news that we could never see coming in a gazillion years, AnnThraxx CoulterBeast lies her bony little arse off, and Chris Wallace becomes the first in his family to demoanstrate senility on-air when he forgets that Drinky McDumbAss has been trying to tie Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussien together since he started delivering official revisionist history in pResidential press releases.
The Repugnicants voted themselves an annual pay raise of $3,100, then went on vacation. We wish we were making this one up. Funny, isn't it, how they can keep all the tax breaks for the rich elite, give themselves a pay boost, then cut benefits for poor people. Some of you out there might remember the scene in History of the World: Part I where a Senator asks if they should help the poor or stuff their pockets with even more goodies. Apparently this automatic raise was scheduled to be omitted this year (by attaching an amendment to drop the COLA adjustment onto another bill) - but for some strange reason, the amendment rescinding the auto COLA adjustment was dropped by Repugnicant committee members controlling Repugnicant committees when compromises (cough) were made in getting the bill to pass.
Speaking of which, we just read about seniors getting the shaft from the government, and told to start worshipping Koresh of they expect to see any christian kindness or charity for the rest of their lives. Just another fine example of that conservative compassion at work.
We were pleasantly surprised to find a link from The Sideshow to our statement rebutting BFEE shill (who's being paid to lie to us all with our very own tax dollars!) here. Muy bueno!
We were also unpleasantly unsurprised to see more of the junta's devilry at work here, here, here, and here. Mind you, these are just a few highlights from a few of today's reality-based news sources of some of the many improprieties sanctioned and supported by american tax dollars. What a country!
Is anybody else scared yet?
* - about as fast as we can get our sorry a$$ back in front of the idiot box, that's how fast...
Sunday, 28 Betteroff 2005
Our limited output here at this blog will be diminishing even more than it has of late. Some of our friends intoduced us to Tiger Woods golf over the weekend. And we're very much afraid that we like it immensely - so much so that we feel as though we'll be away from the internets for quite some time. Talk amongst yourselves while we're gone...
Friday, 25 Betteroff 2005
Statement by the Press Secretary of The Funny Farm on Scott McClellan's (R - Mouth of Sauron) Statement on Congressman Murtha's Statement
STATEMENT BY THE FUNNY FARM PRESS SECRETARY
Scott McClellan is a partisan weasel and political hack who has a record of lying to support an incompetant and illegally installed junta that has taken over America for the last five years. So it is unsurprising in this press room that he is regurgitating the policy positions of the radical wrongwingnuts who have taken over the American government, and the extreme fundamentalist theofascist wing of the Publican party. The eve of a mock vote in Iraq intended to score partisan political points for the Publicans is not the time to surrender to the terrorists. After seeing his statement, we remain baffled -- nowhere does he explain how continuing to spin empty political rhetoric based on lies in order to deceive the average American citizen makes America safer.
[Editors' Note: this post has been temporally enhanced due to potential access limitations in the near future (we will probably be away from the internets this weekend).]
Thursday, 24 Betteroff 2005
We couldnt help noticing that our Sitemeter Country share report shows us that 2%* of our traffic comes from an unknown country. Is there somebody in Antarctica who's a big fan**? Or is there some way to mask your location that all the best spammers know about? Inquiring minds want to know...
* - at least, it was 2% when we wrote this. It's now up to 3%. Maybe Blogistan isn't on the map yet?
** - or an avid reader of the internets with lots of time on their hands and lots of bandwidth.
Humpday, 23 Betteroff 2005
We saw this question on the Conservative News Network's front page this morning:
Who should control the internet?
Private sector |
... and we couldn't help noticing that the choice of Nobody was missing from the list. Actually, there are a number of these Quick Vote questions that are somewhat lacking in appropriate choices to vote for.
[rhetorical questions] Why do the corpo-weasels over at CNN do this sort of thing? Could they possibly be trying to influence the mindset of those who peruse their pages towards taking the view that the internets need to be controlled? And further, possibly they may be trying to influence our melons regarding which groups should even be considered for this controlling position? [/rhetorical questions]
Tuesday, 22 Betteroff 2005
We noticed that Darth Cheney actually had the cojones to accuse others of engaging in "one of the most dishonest and reprehensible charges ever aired in this city." Then he was still functional enough to say that Democrats who say they were misled by the administration are "making a play for political advantage in the middle of a war." And then accuse others of undermining the morale of U.S. troops while "a few opportunists are suggesting they were sent into battle for a lie." And his head didn't even explode from the cognitive dissonance!
We also noticed that the frelling irony alert monitor managed to put together enough of itself to start sounding its' siren song once more* before we were able to smash it into tiny little pieces. Maybe kryptonite will have some sort of effect...
* - it's got to be made of the same stuff they make those advanced model Terminators of in the movies. And we don't have a handy smelting furnace available to solve this particular problem. Damn you, George Steinbrenner!
Sunday, 21 Betteroff 2005
We would be remiss if we didn't help point out that a terrorist sympathizer can come in many forms, and while a terrorist sympathizer can also say many things, there is one terrorist sympathizer in particular that makes many hypocritical lies slanderous braindead falsehoods wildly inaccurate statements while engaging in his terrorist sympathizer activities.
It would also be amazing to those responsible for bringing this bloggy goodness to your melon if the terrorist sympathizer we speak of didn't accuse others of being a terrorist sympathizer, while making statements that a terrorist sympathizer would make himself. It would also be amazing if the terrorist sympathizer we write about here had not been recognized by our faithful readers as Falafel O'Really?, he who claimed that the Paris Business Review was a valuable source of the effectiveness of a terrorist sympathizer's boycott of all things French.
We would make mention of an earlier googlebomb about the greatest miserable failure in american political history, but there's no need to show you once again, dear reader, what a miserable failure certain unelected drunken cokeheaded fratboys have become. None at all.
Friday, 18 Betteroff 2005
Courtesy of one of our long time friends up in the Big Smoke in the Great White North, we were able to viddy this article in the November edition of Harpers Magazine. We thought it was so important to show you that we transcribed it ourselves, and will gladly do whatever it takes to point to it without infringing on the copyrights therein*. There was much more in the way of mind candy that might appeal to the type of infotainment consumer that manages to stop and shop within these hallowed (cough) pages. Enjoy!
THE From more than 750 editorial changes proposed by the United States Mission to the Untied Nations, led by John Bolton, to a thirty-six page draft statement prepared for September's U.N. summit meeting. Additions are shown in boldface and proposed deletions from the documents are shown in We affirm that the targeting and deliberate killing by terrorists of civilians and noncombatants cannot be justified or legitimized by any cause or grievance. We resolve to conclude a comprehensive convention on international terrorism, We We resolve to: - Appeal to all states in take action in a multilateral framework unilaterally, bilaterally, or multilaterally to prevent the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction and their means of delivery - - Strengthen the Biological and Toxin Weapons Convention through continued - Complete the destruction of chemical weapons consistent with the Chemical Weapons Convention
We strongly support fair globalization and resolve to make the goals of full and productive employment and decent work for all, including for women and young people, a central objective of our national We resolve to: - Achieve significant improvement in the lives of at least 100 million slum dwellers by - -Provide, as a priority, assistance for HIV/AIDS prevention, care, and treatment in African countries - |
* - including plopping down some of our own hard earned cash and buying a copy of the frelling magazine ourselves. Unless our friend lets us read his copy after he's done...
Humpday, 16 Betteroff 2005
We wonder how the state, county, and city governments of Kansas would react if:
1. People started looking for real estate in Kansas, spent a considerable amount of the time and resources of local realtors in finding just the right place for their family to move into, and then, just before consummating the deal, backed out because they didn't want their kids to be taught religious insanity in science class?
2. Businesses (especially those doing scientific research and development) started talking to those government bodies about relocating their businesses to Kansas, but, once again, decided to back out at the last minute because the environment is not conducive to the pursuit of science?
3. Businesses that are currently located in Kansas decided to relocate out of the state due to the prejudice against science in the state?
4. People currently living in Kansas decided to move out of state due to the prevalence of religious insanity as scientific theory within the state?
5. Universities refused to accept students from Kansas high schools who applied to pursue a degree in any scientific discipline?
Once again, for any brave souls who are willing to perform any of these experiments, we would humbly request that you let us know in the comments (or send us an email if you try this after the comments are closed - we'll add it ourselves into the comments in such a case) how it went. And thanks for playing...
Tuesday, 15 Betteroff 2005
| Your Power Color Is Red-Orange |
 At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?" |
Sunday, 14 Betteroff 2005
We've been able to see quite a bit of our favorite sport lately - and, since we had to go without for an entire season, we've been pretty much overloading on it every chance we get.
Some of our fellow co-workers have said that, because broadcast coverage of the NHL has been picked up by the Outdoor Life Network, the league is doomed to bush league status for the forseeable future. But we have to disagree - OLN has been putting on an excllent show, a good selection of the on-air talent (cough) has been retained by the network, and we really like the rule changes*. But we also are amused by the OLN promo we keep seeing**:
We believe in hockey.
We believe we can score on the opening faceoff. We believe in the unbelievable. We believe in AHH! [awesome goal scored] and OHH! [awesome save made] We believe in the Great One, the Next One, Unless you have the puck. That's different. We believe in hockey! |
It probably also doesn't hurt that our favorite team is off to their best start in recent memory...
* - they basically boil down to the elimination of most of the goon-style play that had taken over the game, and enabled a return to letting the players' talent shine through, in our humble opinion. They're still thumping each other at every chance - but the stickwork and the cheap shots are being called these days. We sincerely hope that the refs keep on calling things this way even in the playoffs.
** - hopefully we will still be as amused by it after the five hundredth viewing. Which could be happening almost any day now. Note to network braintrust (cough) - you shouldn't spoil a good thing by overkill! [hint, hint]
Thanks to Brooke's Hockey Chronicles (even though he's a Bruins fan - he doesn't have the puck!) for posting the words to this commercial so's we could post it here with relative ease.
Saturday, 13 Betteroff 2005
It seems to be the latest rage - so we'd like to ask you to go here and add another marker to our map of readers. You'll be glad you did!
Fryday, 12 Betteroff 2005
Due to our interactions with Murphy and Finagle, we have been unable to get to the internets for more than five minutes at a time. This has caused us to be somewhat reluctant to attempt to post any bloggy goodness until we got the problem resolved*. And the resolution involved re-installing our operating system (WindHoze ME)** - not an easy five minute task at any time. But what's done is done, and now we're back!
And, boy oh boy has there been a lot going on since we posted here last! We've got riots in Paris and protests in Argentina and Senators crying like little girly-men and recent White House chiefs of staff getting court dates and congersscritters being hoist by their own petard (and an amazing amount of spin and covering up going on by all those nasty lib'ruls (cough) over there in the mainstream media - almost as thought they were paid partisan representatives of the Repugnicant junta currently running this country into the ground), and some good stuff from Digby and Orcinus and tBogg (just for starters) pointing out things that the powers that be don't want you to think about.
Now, if you'll excuse us, it's time to get some pretty pictures together to show you in the near future. Have yourselves a merry little Fiztmas!
* - long story short: if you have Zone Alarm on your PC, then you try and install McAfee's firewall product, then you try and update Zone Alarm, you will find out that they don't play well together on the same PC. Then when you try and rip Zone Alarm out of the system, the stuff that the Zone Alarm uninstall leaves behind will lock you out of the internets after five minutes or so.
** - which is not nearly as difficult as it sounds here at the Funny Farm - we have a seperate partition that we put WindHoze on, and that's all we have to redo. So most of our data, music, and toys don't need to be re-installed. If we had Ghosted the system partition before we installed Zone Alarm, it would have been even easier. Which it will be next time*** when we have to redo our OS partition once again.
*** - and, yes, there is always a next time...