The Funny Farm

Down The Rabbit Hole

^{Friday, 4 Reckning 2006}

At least the unknown continent (and the unknown country) are gone for now.

What I really want to know is: has Oceania/Australasia always been at war with Eurasia, or has Oceania/Australasia always been at war with Eastasia?

The Charm

^{still still Humpday, 2 Reckning 2006}

[beverage alert: reading post at other end of link(s) may cause any beverage in the process of being consumed to percolate through your nasal cavities]

Oh no! Too late!!

For my good friend Special K - may the employment drought you have been undergoing come to an end. Hopefully you won't be tired from all your extracurricular activities when the day finally comes...

Bloggeriffic!!

^{still Humpday, 2 Reckning 2006}

[beverage alert: reading post at other end of link(s) may cause any beverage in the process of being consumed to percolate through your nasal cavities]

The wondrous skills of Tbogg are aptly demonstrated as he defines the modern Mendoza line of conservative blogtopia* in his piece on the Crap in the Hat. Enjoy!

Also - Blogfight!

* - y!sctw! The modern Mendoza line of conservative blogtopia is pointing out that John A$$Reamer Hinderaker agrees with you on your blog.

There's Something Happening Here...

^{Humpday, 2 Reckning 2006}

...and what it is, ain't exactly clear...

The story so far:

- (: Tom :) received unsolicited email from religiously insane theofascist;

- (: Tom :) posted it on his blog;

- (: Tom :) gets numerous comments from Jeremy N. Rudd, and another email from his brother Luke Rudd (which gets posted in the comments section of the original post). Also a mysterious but equally crazed card carrying member of the God Squad spew forth a few standard christian "arguments" based on axiomatic truths strangely absent from the reality-based environment we all share here on planet Earth.

- (: Tom :) engages in a little give-and-take, using approximately the same sort of language that your average godless pagan heathen sodomite commie pinko fag junkie could realistically expect to be used by those who laughingly consider themselves to espouse the beliefs of any form of christianity when they talk about him/her. He then sees the initial protagonist declare:

and wonders if this is truly the last time that Mr. Rudd will grant the Funny Farm the benefit of his wisdom (cough).

And now...

More comments in the original post! Go see!

Plus...

Too bad Mr. Rudd could not utilize his opportunity to show me the real truth. Perhaps the scales will come off of his eyes someday.

I say, I say, son, one of the most intersting things I find your kind engage in is trying to tell anyone, I say anyone, what they are thinking, what they should think, and how they should live their lives.

I would invite any DEFT-WANGER TRASH or DOPE-HEADS who would choose to do so, please come forward and unsully your name from these baseless accusations being hurled at you.

For someone throwing around invective, you sure do accuse a lot of others of sliming that which you hold dear. Should there be an unbroken mirror within your reach, please take a minute and stare into it while talking about the honest party and slime trails.

I cannot deny the truth that you have lied here, on this website, within the comments section of one of my posts. So far. The rest of your occult propaganda gets flushed into the sewer system, where it belongs. The true irony of the situation is that your holiest of holies has so many pagan legends woven into its' pages that, especially with truly religiously insane theofascists like you, you are in effect engaging in pagan worship and occult ritual. Sorry if you can't handle the truth.

I might actually try telling the pResident (the current one, at least) he's a smarmy, arrogant prick to his face. If I could ever pass enough of the loyalty tests to be allowed within the hallowed radiance of his exalted presence. I would probably just turn my back on him like a brave bunch of kids did once. Same thing if I ever made it into one of his dog and pony shows "town halls". Somehow I don't think I will ever get the chance...

I will do nothing for the sake of your Invisible Cloud Being. Nor more than what I am legally required to do for the Chimperor, or the rest of his unholy cabal. Don't presume that you can get the last word in with someone on their very own piece of the internets, no matter how many exclamation points you put in your SHOUTING tantrum. But feel free to drop by anytime you need a quick raise in your blood pressure, as long as you play nice and stop spewing your occult propaganda in this zone.

Best,

Time For More Cartoons

^{Thursday, 26 Goodenuf 2006}

A Day Late And A Dollar Short

^{Humpday, 25 Goodenuf 2006}

You need to read the posts over at Hullabaloo. In the few days since the end of tax season (a few days ago!), Digby and Tristero have put up more than twice the bloggy goodness I have just linked to.

Come back in a few days after you've digested your mind candy...

Public Service Announcement

^{Tuesday, 24 Goodenuf 2006}

Putsch nominates yet another sycophant for crucial U.S. government position

By Reuters press (R - Propaganda Mill) (creative between the lines interpretation of partisan Publican propaganda courtesy of the Funny Farm Editorial Staff)

WASHINGTON America's cesspool of corruption (Reuters) - President George W. Bush The Drunken Cokeheaded Illegally Installed Deserter on Tuesday nominated U.S. Trade Representative Rob Portman (R - Loves Duh Leedur) as his choice to become White House budget director shill as part of a shake-up of his team distraction from all of the messes he's made since he stole office.

Bush also nominated Portman's deputy another sycophant, Susan Schwab, to become the next trade representative, the official in charge of negotiating trade agreements and trying to open markets strong-arming third world countries into massive debt.

Both appointments require Senate confirmation rubberstamping from the Reich Wing controlling every branch of the U.s. government.

Portman, a former member of the House of Representatives from Ohio who helped Bush win rig the voting machines in that critical state in the 2004 presidential election, would succeed Josh Bolten as budget director shill.

Portman would inherit a difficult task of organizing a federal budget that is deep in deficit due largely somewhat to spending on the Iraq war and Hurricane Katrina and largely due to the massive tax giveaways to the rich over the past five years.

Bush said Portman would have a leading role as part of his economic team scorched-earth policy initiative and would be "a powerful voice for pro-growth policies and spending restraint even more cuts to government programs that aid the poor, and even more tax giveaways to the rich."

"Rob is a man of deep integrity fealty, he knows the priorities of my administration how to rip off the poor and give to the rich, he can get things done, and the Senate should confirm rubberstamp him promptly as director of the Office of Management and Budget so he can start earning for me," Bush said.

Bush said Schwab led U.S. trade policies helped fill BFEE coffers in a number of vital areas such as intellectual property enforcement punishing entrepreneurial ingenuity and would use her expertise to help conclude exploit the nations involved in the Doha round of world trade talks.

Bolten is the new White House chief of staff engaged in a staff overhaul dog and pony sideshow distraction to try to breathe new life into Bush's presidency stop people from realizing what a horrid mess this administration has made of everything since they usurped power.

In another staff move anchor toss, White House spokesman Scott McClellan (R - Mouth of Sauron) announced the resignation of James Twoey, the director of the White House office that encourages federal funds to go to faith-based groups that help the underprivileged hands out federal funds to the God Squad.

Twoey will become president of Saint Vincent College in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, where he'll keep a low profile and his mouth shut if he knows what's good for him.

Time For A Cartoon

^{Sunday, 23 Goodenuf 2006}

Religious Insanity At Its' Finest (cough)

^{Thursday, 19 Goodenuf 2006}

I now have a second theo-fascist who was kind enough to send me a heartfelt personal note attesting to his opinions about my ancestry, humanity, morals, and the eventual destination of my spirit once I have shuffled off this mortal coil. Let's check out some of the words of one whose tongue is firmly planted in the nether cheeks of the Chimperor:

[this has been left in its' pristine, unedited form by the Funny Farm staff - so any errors in spelling, grammar, etc. are entirely due to the wondrous (presumably divinely inspired) communicative skills of the sender of this screed. At least he's learned how to use email...]

Funny thing, though - even though I am an ardent supporter of women having the right to choose, I have never actually had to give any comfort or aid to anyone who has had an actual abortion. There is also the added dimension that, even if I had helped out a damsel in that sort of distress, I would be a fetus destroyer, as opposed to being a baby murderer (with or without capitalization).

I also have no buddies within Al Q. - in fact, I consider them to be slightly more repellant of a form of life than the sick clown who sent me this screed, because they're willing to engage in more than spittle-flecked rantings. Considering the tone of this email, too, I would strongly advise Jeremy N. Rudd to stop drinking the Kool-Aid, and get back on whatever medications he stopped taking, so the voices in his vapid melon will stop telling him to hurl epithets at anyone who dares criticize BabyDoc Putsch.

As for Mr. Rudd himself, this half-wit got something half right - if not for pResident Smarmy Arrogant Prick, I would not be in half of the financial discomfort I am in here today. He seems to be an outstanding example of the Repugnicant base that still supports the corrupt felons running the U.S. government into the ground these days, and I am happy to show others what they consider to be polite discourse at this time. I find it quite interesting to note that, for a supposed christian, he seems to feel he is acting properly according to the tenets of his religious beliefs when he suggests that battery acid should be thrown in my face. And I would respectfully suggest that, should he find the contents of this website to be offensive to his personal brand of pagan occult ritualism, he direct his attention elsewhere on the internets. There's lots of rabidly insane Putsch fellators out there who are running websites where his views would be most welcome.

Maybe you would like to let Jeremy N. Rudd know what you think of the email he sent. If so, feel free to contact him at the above email address. And tell him Tom at the Funny Farm sent you!

We're Everywhere!

^{Humpday, 18 Goodenuf 2006}

I see that Cory Doctorow of Boing Boing was also enrolled at The University of Waterloo(although it was quite some time after I went there) at one point. It is remotely possible that Cory might have been acquainted with my younger brother Matt, who is also a Waterloo alumni. Especially if he was a member of the only fraternity on campus, which little bro was fairly heavily involved with at Waterloo.

My path at Waterloo was somewhat different (I barely got my degree, largely due to a slight distraction I encountered along the way). But, hey, it's all good - and it's all behind me now, so it isn't anything I can change at this point. It is just another of those small things that seem to tickle my thinker in just the right way...

Back To The Future

^{Saturday, 15 Goodenuf 2006}

If anyone is interested in what it would be like to be in a country where abortion is illegal in every circumstance, and the women who have abortions are imprisoned, I would strongly suggest you read this article that appeared in the New York Times Magazine on Sunday. This is the world that the anti-choice people want us all to live in - one where everyone involved in the procedure gets some hard prison time. Although I did see that, if the woman who gets an abortion turns the provider in, she gets off relatively scot-free. So the government seems to be encouraging its' citizens to turn into snitches IMHO. This article also points out that the rich don't have to worry about all those silly legalities - they can just fly their pregnant women to a land where they can have their abortion in peace and safety.

I'm wondering if anyone who has read this would be interested in going to El Salvador for any reason whatsoever. I know I'm not - and I will be engaging in a dialogue with a central american whose opinion I respect a lot to find out if this is a trend in that neck of the woods. Just in case I manage to get some disposable income one of these days, and decide to visit some exotic (to me) lands once more. Because I will most defintiely be trying to avoid supporting this sort fo behavior with my tourist dollar. And I would respectfully suggest that you consider doing the same.

I would also like to point out that others are upset about this too. Lots of others that I didn't just link to as well...

In other news, it has been reported that the US government is no longer informing its' people how much money they are printing, and that the government is injecting two trillion dollars into the monetary system. By a strange coincidence (cough), all of the stories for the last week have focused on illegal immigration. Not on the corpo-weasels who won't pay a decent wage, and instead hire illegals for much less (and then don't have to worry about those pesky things like health care benefits, unemployment insurance, and treating their employees like human beings), mind you - just the people they have lured into doing their slave labor for them. Funny how that works...

It was also a lot of fun to watch the Royal Canadian Air Farce on Friday. One of my new favorite recurring skits is called Driving With Alan Park. And on Friday I fell off the couch when this one came on the screen (I'm paraphrasing here, so bear with me):

Remember to put your thinking toque on, and check out the brain teasers below. Maybe you'll be the first to come up with one of the correct answers!

Quick Update - Plus!

^{Thursday, 12 Goodenuf 2006}

So far, there have been exactly zero* responses of any kind to the lyrical brain teasers, accurate or otherwise. I thought that this was a mildly challenging set of songs, given that they are all Canadian based artists, with varying degrees of notoriety. I guess I can go further and say that some of the artists are from southwestern Ontario (basically metro Toronto and further south and west). And I guess I could open it up to everyone, since two of those asked not to play were stumped when they first saw the quiz. I would also appreciate some feedback as to the nature and difficulty involved with this quiz. It is my first attempt at this, after all, and so I might not have it quite down pat just yet...

I also wanted to show you all a wondrous video passed along to me from my friend Snoot, who currently resides in the Tomato Capital of Canada. He sent me this video, which I now pass along to you**. Whether you've already done your taxes, or are just about to, you should appreciate this. U.S. residents can substitute the appropriate american officials for the canadian ones featured here.

Have yourselves a great weekend!

* - I counted them. Twice.

** - all hail Rick Mercer and the mighty Ceeb of the Great White North!

Mini Onion

^{Humpday, 11 Goodenuf 2006}

A lot of good stuff in the Onion this week:

Girls Gone Wild Released Back Into Civilization

Tom DeLay to Pursue Corruption in Private Sector

Earth Passed Over for Invasion

Detroit Sold for Scrap

Critics Blast Putsch for Not Praying Hard Enough

Steinbrenner names Johhny Damon as new Yankee Scapegoat

Damn you, George Steinbrenner!

Ding Dong, The Hammer's Gone

^{Sunday, 10 Goodenuf 2006}

Just let me add to the resounding cheer coming from the Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan: I am very happy to see the BugMan leaving the United States House of Representatives. I notice that he is his usual charming (cough) self when he gracefully (cough) blames everyone but himself for his unexpected unpopularity amongst his own constituency.

Of course, if he had an honest bone in his body, or any connection to reality whatsoever, he would know that his political life as a virulently partisan theofascist might have something to do with him being prosecuted proof of his long-suspected improprieties started coming to light. It is unfortunate that this loathsome excuse for a human being will never have to pay for all of his crimes, even supposing that we could discover all of the moral and ethical abominations he was a party to.

I was also recently exposed to the following quiz:

How Evil Are You?

You Are 34% Evil A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil. How Evil Are You?

I have also taken the liberty of answering this quiz on Mr. Delay's behalf, based on the evil that he is known to have committed. The results should not surprise our regulars:

You Are 82% Evil You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You?