The Funny Farm

Time For A Cartoon

^{Tuesday, 6 Infusion 2006}

Onward Christian Soldiers

^{Sunday, 5 Infusion 2006}

I've just been privileged (cough) to find out what's going to be all the rage for gamers this season: Left Behind Games presents Left Behind: Eternal Forces the video game. Seriously - you get two choices: the pResident's point of view, and the Vice pResident's point of view the militant christian forces of the Invisible Sky Fairy, or the demonic forces of the antiKoresh. Other faiths and points of view are fodder and/or possibly suspect even if they embrace the ways of the Force the christian point of view eventually*. Sort of sounds a bit like they've updated Doom to fit a particular demographic**. We'll leave that whole thing about Mammon and fleecing our fellow man alone for now.

Thanks to the King of Zembla and Crooks and Liars for pointing me to this link over at Talk to Action.

* - I'm guessing, and engaging in a bit of idle speculation. Perhaps my perceptions might be slightly off...

** - which might also be quite a few of the ones with the Nascar asphyxiations these days as well.

Quick Question For Lou Dobbs

^{Humpday, 30 Reckning 2006}

I noticed that you had this question up on your online poll today:

Since I am reasonably certain that you will not be noticing the feedback I submitted to your online site, I thought I would take the liberty of sharing it with the dozens who view this site on a regular basis:

I would be reasonably interested in hearing from you, Mr. Dobbs, or anyone else at the Conservative News Network, should they be willing to provide some sort of explanation as to the continued and somewhat extreme (especially compared to the response from the Lou Dobbs Tonight program, as well as the rest of CNN's reponses, to the myriad Publican scandals, the current Publican culture of corruption in DC, and the high crimes and misdemeanors that the current Publican administration is engaging in) focus that the Lou Dobbs Tonight program appears to be taking with regards to immigration in general, and illegal immigrants in particular.

I would also be interested in some sort of explanation as to why, when the eeeevul Clenis^TM was getting his pole smoked by someone who was not his wife (which, no matter how hard the religiously insane try to spin it, is not against the law - and was really not much of anyone else's business in the first place, don't you think?), CNN was broadcasting any and all updates on the subject all day every day - yet, when Publicans commit actual crimes, we can't even find out about it from you. And, then when you do "report" some of the news (as late as you possibly can, and generally speaking after others have made it prominent enough that you can't ignore the story any more - and this sort of news usually mysteriously seeming to be less than flattering to the current cabal), you spin your coverage so as to paint the current junta in a favorable light (in addition to supressing, distorting, and/or ignoring/belittling the news that is less than fawning).

I know I'm just a nobody in any of these obscenely rich news readers' eyes (you could check out my previous experience with former CNN talking melon Aaron Brown to see one of the reasons why I feel this way) over at CNN. But I think there are others who are interested in finding out the same thing. There are hordes of us out here on the Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan who no longer trust your news spin to be reality based*. And I think you should at least consider our opinions, and the discrepancy we notice between your treatment of the current administration (and, as a matter of fact, any Publican, or their sources who supply you with Klan material), and your treatment of any member of the Democratic Party that comes under your scrutiny. As well as go back to being journalists, and possibly investigating what, in my humble opinion, may well be the biggest story of the new millennium - the corporate takeover of the United States government.

Maybe it's just me...

* - to be precise, some of us have rarely trusted you, and try as best as we can to verify everything we see on any of the news networks in the conservative media empires (as well as a lot of stuff that the american media will not cover).

Yet Another Example Of Religious Insanity In Action

^{Tuesday, 29 Reckning 2006}

Pat Robertson claims he can leg press 2000 pounds. Mind you, it doesn't say he can do it all at once, although, as is typical with occult propaganda, it implies* that he does.

There seems to be a bit of a problem with PRSon's claims, though: it seems that someone has been looking up those pesky facts again, and it appears that there have been a very few of the World's Strongest Men that have approached 1000 pounds. it also appears that normal, healthy humans occassionally have problems leg pressing 400 pounds. And one person who managed to leg press over 1300 pounds burst the capillaries in his eyes when attemping this feat of strength. After working their way up to it. Which sort of makes one wonder about an eighty year old, fairly scrwany male who claims to be able to leg press half again as much with no problems.

Thanks to The Carperbagger Report and UnSpunBlog for leading us to this shining example of christian values. I'm sure Mr. Robertson's Invisible Sky Fairy will thank him for bilking his flock of mucho dinero to buy some silly protein shakes, should he be relatively accurate in his beliefs about the afterlife, and get a chance to discuss the matter up close and personal...

* - or does it infer instead of imply?** I am always mixing those two up...

** - to imply means to express or indicate indirectly. To infer means to lead to as a consequence or conclusion. Dictionary.com also offers this helpful snippet:

Usage Note: Infer is sometimes confused with imply, but the distinction is a useful one. When we say that a speaker or sentence implies something, we mean that it is conveyed or suggested without being stated outright: When the mayor said that she would not rule out a business tax increase, she implied (not inferred) that some taxes might be raised***. Inference, on the other hand, is the activity performed by a reader or interpreter in drawing conclusions that are not explicit in what is said: When the mayor said that she would not rule out a tax increase, we inferred that she had been consulting with some new financial advisers, since her old advisers were in favor of tax reductions.

So I guess I have inferred that Robertson is a hypocritical lying sack of theofascistic kimchee because of his faith-based statements with no connection to reality, and the christian broadcasting network implied that their religiously insane leader was able to leg press twice as much as the strongest men on the planet have come close to leg pressing. Sorry about that! We apologize for the inconvenience.

*** - obviously, she was not a member of the Publican Party. They would never raise taxes; they've told us so repeatedly!

Quick Note To the DNC and The DLC*

^{Sunday, 28 Reckning 2006}

I notice that you seem to pretend to be confused by the lack of popular support for your positions within the membership of the Democratic Party. Especially about the part where good Democratic supporters hand over tons of cash to the DNC and the DLC, and the DNC and DLC pretends to support progressive candidates while ruthlessly suppressing anything but the DNC and DLC party line positions and candidates in elections.

Sorry to tell you here (where you probably won't take the time to check it out - I am probably considered one of those desktop campaign manager-wannabes which you contemptuously dismiss without any thought), but you somehow don't seem to be listening when I reply to your pleas for more money with "no money for spineless wimps who support the Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter more often than not". Your main redeeming feature at this time is that you're not one hundred percent in lockstep with your fellow rich elitist bastiches in the Repugnicant Party. Then again, their cadence seems to be little off lately (they don't seem to be quite in lockstep all the time these days), so I can't give you all that much credit for your pretense of opposition. Funny how it all comes down to the mean green, innit?

Also please bear in mind that this in no way is any sort of endorsement for any of the Repugnicant iceholes trying to hang on to their cushy government jobs. Or any of the others who keep on sending their useless duffs back to DC. In all probability I will be holding my nose and voting for Levin or Stabenow (whichever is up for re-election to the Senate) and against any Repugnicant bastiches on the ballot. It would be nice, IMHO, if there were more progressive choices available as realistically electable alternatives. And it would be nice if the Democrats thought they should be the ones offering that alternative, and should throw their support behind said progressive candidates.

Until then, it's the considerably lesser of two evils that gets my vote. And that would be those of you in the Democratic National Committee and the Democratic Leadership Council that keep trying to turn the Democratic Party into the Repugnicant Lites. Here's some thoughts: maybe you could try and work with Howard Dean a lot more; maybe you could try and listen to the grass roots more instead of telling them how to think and what to do (in their own backyard, so to speak); maybe you could support dark horse candidates like Paul Hackett who are begging you to let them help you win some elections; and maybe you could be a little more welcoming to those who would like to help the Democratic Party at least get a seat at the table in the next two years. I know how hard it is to accept honest criticism - much less help that shows up at your door like Alex and his droogies. But there are a lot of people out in the American wilderness who see an out of touch partisan when they look at any of their congress critters - and you're not helping things any by playing the Repugnicants' game in Washington DC. Or acting like the privileged rich elitists that virtually every politician in the capital is, regardless of party affiliation.

I'd love to be able to believe that you care about more than staying in the good old politicians club at all costs. But I would prefer to be a little less blind in my faith - and, while I'm thinking about getting that fancy laser surgery for my eyes, I don't think it would help me to see you any better.

Please stop playing the same old song and dance in DC.

* - quick being a relative term here - as compared to your average political fund raising letter, this is a Post-It note...

This and That

^{Thursday, 24 Reckning 2006}

This being the mental incongruities from finding (and buying) 2 liter bottles of Jarritos at a local store and being handed back my purchases packaged in bags with Crappy Tire and Sobeys logos on the sides, and how it is fracturing my cognitive processes. Especially since I'm one of the few gringos to appear at the counter whenever I'm in the store...

And that being the heart rending sound of that frelling irony alert sireen going off yet again in Putschwellian AmeriKKKa. Take a look at all of the gory details at the websites of all the usual suspects - it is an unfortunate necessity in today's world (IMHO) to keep up with this crap. The only thing I can think of to say, which of course is needless to say, but I will, anyway:

* - I'm also sad to say (but I will anyway!) that there's a little bit of apprehension in using actual names. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Sign Of The Apocalypse

^{Humpday, 16 Reckning 2006}

Like no one ever saw this coming...

BabyDoc Putsch suggests (cough) that Jibe! inherit his royal privilege.

Via everyone's favorite Suburban Guerrilla.

Your Tax Dollars At Work

^{Tuesday, 15 Reckning 2006}

...for the Putsch administration and all of its' partisan political machinations. I thought our tax dollars were supposed to be handed out in an impartial basis - but I see from this article that fealty to the Chimperor appears to be one of the criteria for getting government funds these days.

I'm wondering if there were any contracts denied during the Clinton administration because the applicants did not approve of the president at the time. I'm also wondering how big the lawsuit would have been if any Democratic appointees had attempted this sort of thing. And how big the conservative media would have made the story. And how quickly the howls for that particular appointee to be drummed out of office would have started from the Publicans. Funny - I don't remember any of that happening...

By an amazing coincidence (cough), there are no major news outlets covering this story yet. By an equally amazing coincidence, the Publicans are now spinning that I didn't do it. It's not my fault. And you can't prove a thing. And right after calls to investigate the matter further from the pink tutus!

Even if government contracts are still awarded on the basis of merit, the fact still remains that this story was told to a bunch of people who would potentially be applying for the same sort of contract. Hmmmm - I wonder why the guy who decided who gets government funds would tell those who apply for those government funds that he rejected a government contract to somebody because they don't like the Deciderer?

Thanks to many of the leading minds of The Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan for refusing to let the conservative media sweep this under the rug too. Special thanks to Think Progress for a pair of posts highlighting the issue at hand.

The Results Of Applying Religious Insanity In The Real World

^{Thursday, 10 Reckning 2006}

What an amazing coincidence! Drinky McDumbAss and the God Squad put barriers in place to stop people from preventing unwanted pregnancies, and Unwanted Pregnancies Rise for Poor Women! Amazingly, all those rich Publicans who get their wimmens in trouble are still getting their abortions and their contraception - it's just the poor people, who used to be able to get some government help with this sort of problem, who actually have to deal with the fallout of religious insanity in government. Funny how the rich get a free pass when they flaunt the guidelines of their Invisible Sky Fairy worship, but the poor have to suffer the consequences of their actions, innit?

Update 20060509: I have received yet another piece of religious spam from the religiously insane troll who seeks to pollute my comments here. Amazingly (cough), he seems to think that those poor wimmens deserve to be preggers if they are blasphemous enough to engage in non-procreative sex. And Putsch is Teh. Gratest. pRezNit. Evar. Equally interesting to note (IMHO) is the hypocrisy involved – there was absolutely no mention of the immorality of those rich enough to get their contraception and abortions elsewhere (because they’re rich enough to act above the law). Then again, it sounds like just another Chimperor fellator in their last throes here at the Funny Farm.

Sign Of The Times

^{Humpday, 9 Reckning 2006}

...at least, around these parts, it is: