The Funny Farm

Point Counterpoint

^{Fryday, 4 Sweltring 2006}

Rook has responded to my first move as most people usually do:

Black d7-d5: queen's pawn moves forward 2 spaces

Here's my move in response:

White c2-c4: queen's bishop's pawn moves forward 2 spaces

Time For A Cartoon

^{Friday, 3 Sweltring 2006}

The Gauntlet Has Been Cast

^{Friday, 3 Sweltring 2006}

Rook and I are going to have a game of blogger's chess. He has given me the white pieces*, so here's my move

d2-d4 queen's pawn moves forward 2 spaces

* - as you can see they are actually red and blue in the battle chess software that I have installed for display purposes.

There's A Song In My Head

^{Thursday, 2 Sweltring 2006}

In honor of our Vacationer In Chief, and the dire threat to his sacrosanct annual month-plus hiatus (just exactly what has been accomplished in the last week by the United States Congress? by the way) of clearing brush, mountain biking, and golf outings in the August heat, we offer you this oldie but goodie from the Great White North:

Inspired by this post (or the one directly below it - the links are bit unclear) and its' subsequent meaunderings courtesy of Maru and Loaded Mouth.

Religious Insanity In Action

^{Tuesday, 30 Promise}

Here's what happens when you think those voices in your head are the Invisible Sky Fairy, and you do morally repugnant stuff because of it:

Jury finds Yates not guilty in drownings

You know, it's funny - I see no mention here whatsoever about how Andrea Yates was taking medication for the voices in her head and that her husband was so religiously insane that he took her off the meds so she could pop out another kid. Or of how he got a preacher to try and convince her that it was Koresh' will that she stop taking the medication that was keeping her sane so that she could breed some more. Or how any time Andrea Yates wanted something that her husband didn't think she should have, he and his religiously insane accomplices would tell her that it was Satan trying to influence her. Do any of the dozens who read these words think that if these people were Wiccans or Muslims or Buddhists or a member of any of the other less respected religions here in the Ewe Ess, and this sort of thing happened, that the juries would be as forgiving of this kind of horrendous behavior? Do you think that the news stories in those case would say that in the weeks before the drownings, "for some inexplicable reason," a doctor had told her to stop taking her medication?

It is my sincere wish that, as soon as someone brought up their religious beliefs in a court of law in order to justify their criminal behavior (not to explain it, but to try and get away with it because it's what their deity told them to do), they get put away for religious insanity. And that goes double for rabid anti-choice people who think it is okay to murder abortion doctors.

Quick Note To The Women Of South Dakota

^{Sunday, 29 Promise 2006}

Get out before you are forced to bear your rapist's progeny. Unless you're really religious (and a member of one of the "right" religions), a virgin, you were forced into unconsensual sex, and the theofascists in control of the state government think it will traumatize you forever. Otherwise, you're just an axolotl tank to these (and I use the world loosely here) people.

P.S. Norbizness says it better, with a bit of a longer note and more background info.

Quizzingly Inclined

^{Saturday, 28 Promise 2006}

Time to take the World's* Smallest Political Quiz:

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 100%. Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 50%. (Please note: Scores falling on the Centrist border are counted as Centrist.)

You can, too - by clicking on the pic in this post. Enjoy!

* - it kind of looks like Internets' Smallest Political Quiz to me, but YMMV...

Prognosticator Supreme!

^{Fryday, 27 Promise 2006}

That would be me. And I thought I was merely waaaay over the top when I referred to a certain individual by using the nickname Annthraxx Coulterbeast (the earliest reference I can find on the new site where I used that moniker was at the end of December 2004, but I'm reasonably certain I used that nickname much earlier - even at my original home on the internets*). I'm not sure if I got the beast part correct (yet), but I sure was bang on with the Annthraxx part:

Why is this person still walking around free of any charges, and not being investigated, arrested, or charged with making terrorist threats? Even if her claims to have mailed the fake anthrax was a 'joke' - why is this being handled any differently from any other terrorist threat? Maybe we should take a look at the black dresses in somebody's closet for some incriminating DNA evidence...

Such a nice person - to slip a little stiletto in between the shoulder blades right after 'joking' about sending fake anthrax to the New York Times. I wonder if she would consider it just as funny if she received some white powder in her mailbox?

P.P.S. Annthraxx, if we get hit again, don't forget to ask yourself if your calls to exterminate the Muslims might have had anything to do with their hatred of Americans, too. You could also ask how your fellow Republican'ts outing of a covert CIA agent, and the resulting loss of CIA operations worldwide that were tracking WMD's, might have anything to do with it as well.

* - I actually started using the AnnThraxx part of the nickname in this post. So the old grey matter is pretty much still what it used to be - in this case, at the very least...

What A Maroon

^{Thursday, 25 Promise 2006}

The perspective from Germany must have softened The Rude Pundit somewhat. Because this post, while not nearly as full of potty mouth as is his wont (maybe the translaters don't have his usual collection of profanity in their dictionaries), manages to define Putsch's night at the Apollo campaign commercial base footage speech to the NAACP just as well (and just as rudely) as ever. When you combine it with this post about the Imbecile In Thief Chief (thanks to Susie for pointing the way), and the Texas Souffle's great grope, you get a pretty good picture of what kind of Chimperor you get when a dry drunk starts losing it.

Aren't you glad that the Repugnican'ts controlling all the levers of government power still refuse to put any of their fellow Republican'ts under oath to talk about any of this sort of stuff - much less any of the more serious activities that have been going on for the last five and a half years? That, instead, they want to officially install John Bolton as the United states' U.N. Ambassador(thanks again to Susie for pointing the way)? Somehow I remember the last legally elected president having many more difficulties about much less tawdry activities.

You'll have to excuse me - that frelling irony alert siren is going off again...

There's A Song In My Head

^{Humpday, 24 Promise 2006}

And Now...

^{Sunday, 22 Promise 2006}

... a massage from the American pResident:

Personal freedom infringed? Ring Slater Nazi, City 0478 - or, if closed, the Department of Trade and Industry.

Can anyone try and imagine the firestorm that would be going on at FReeperville, the Powertools blog, and throughout the conservative media, if those wayward digits were attached to the Clenis^TM?

Comedy Gold

^{Saturday, 21 Promise 2006}

Time to start the week off right with yet another gem from the same gold mine over at our good friend (and hopefully fellow Pokerfest competitor) The Hollywood Liberal's place.

In typical conservative compassionate conservative fashion, someone disdains from answering the original fifty question quiz, publishes a list of fifty questions of her own for all the uppity lib-ruls to answer, and then gets upset when she gets exposed to about one-tenth of one percent (there's that magic number again) of the attitude that Repugnican'ts have been heaping on those who fail to See Things Their Way. After, in response to a lot of serious and realistic questions on the abuse of presidential power that some refuse to even consider, we see a bunch of non-reality based questions that could border on libel if their inferences are fabrications.

This is the original attempt at reverse jujitsu by someone claiming to be a Democrat until the shameful and unjust attacks against our Noble Chimperor caused her to see the Light and become a zealous Repugnican't Putsch supporter. Our responses (once again, just as in the original attempt by a critic of the current cabal, the author puts way too many subjective questions in the quiz) are displayed in this manner (sometimes with feeling).

# Anita Says: (July 16th, 2006 at 9:00 pm)

Progressives spend lots of time thinking about nuanced things, so they should
have no trouble at all answering these easy questions, which are by definition
simple since they are asked by a Republican:

(: Tom :) says:

Okay - here we go again!

1. Name ten charities to which you made cash donations last year.
I donated to no charities. They are largely a way to shift the conscience of the rich onto the shoulders of the poor. And often the rich use them to get their useless scions some unearned cash, which I do not feel obligated to support.

2. How much time did you spend last year forwarding e-mails asking people to write to congress to demand funding for social services? How much time last year did you spend doing hands-on work with social services organizations that provide direct service to the disadvantaged (eg, Meals on Wheels, homeless shelters, etc.)?
None! I work for a living - I do not have investments to "earn" my money, nor time or money to spare. So I do not forward any emails to anyone else requesting that they demand funds for social services. Nor do I encourage others to do that sort of thing. Plus, the organizations performing those types of services usually come with religious baggage which is repugnant enough during the frequent unwanted daily intrusions of it currently being thrust into my life.

3. What amount in taxes did you pay to the federal and state government on account of your household help last year?
None. I have no household staff. I do all the work in my home myself.

4. Would you let Ted Kennedy attend your daughter's wedding?
For as long as he behaved, sure!

5. What is the last name of the man who mows your lawn?
It is my own last name - I mow my own lawn.

6. Would you keep a Guantanamo detainee in your home if that would hasten the closure of the prison at Guantanamo?
This is an irrelevant question which can be subjectively answered in any manner by those questioned, and construed as right or wrong by the questioner no matter what answer is given. This is the sort of thing that a Gitmotized mentality would conceive of.

This isn't Lynndie England, is it?

7. One of the tenets of Islam is that non-believers are inferior. In order to show proper respect to your detainee's culture and beliefs, would you and your family convert to Islam?
Why should I be forced to live by anyone else's superstitious fairy tales (if that's what I consider them to be)? Why shouldn't I try to convince those who believe that people who have certain beliefs are inferior of the error of their ways?

I would no more do this than convert to any of the North American theofascist beliefs. Even though they think that I am inferior because I don't agree with their superstitious legends either!

8. If you and your family would not convert to Islam, would you and your family (a) provide your detainee with separate dishes and eating utensils from those used by your family (b) provide your detainee with his/her own separate bathroom and living areas (c) wear gloves when handling any item that belongs to or is used by your detainee (d) learn Arabic (e) provide all of the items listed in (a) through (d)?
Well - I'm already providing tax havens to religiously insane pagan occult ritualists right here in the United States. Without my active consent, and in opposition to my beliefs on the subject. So, if my government mandated that I pay for their holy relics, too, I would fight as hard as I could to not have such laws enacted, and then, if the laws were passed, follow them until I could find a way to have them rescinded, or get away.

But I would allow them (and anyone else from any other cult, from that matter) to have and keep their own items (instead of taking them away when I illegally incarcerated their a$$es, as the U.S. did when they Gitmotized their "enemy combatants") if I had to detain them and keep them until I could try them in a court of law, and make sure they really were the bad guys, and not some unfortunate redneck who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, or had a long standing grudge with one of the locals who was sucking up to the invaders.

9. Barbra Streisand makes her movies in Canada, where there are no unions and costs are cheaper. Explain how this helps the American worker in the quest for a "living wage."
I destroyed this one in the comments to HL's original post - there is an actors' guild in Canada, just as there are many unions (some would say too many) up in the Great White North.

If I could only get my hands on a copy of The Canadian Conspiracy (if anyone has a copy - please Please PLEASE can I get a copy from you, or can you tell me where I can legally acquire a copy of this mockumentary?) - I could provide the Chimpquisitor with myriad examples of the Canadian talent that has, is, and probably always will be, so prevalent in the Hollywierd scene. As it is, let's just say that the history of american producers demanding that Canadian actors break their picket lines is a long and storied one. And, like, whichever one is the conservative actor in Hollywierd these days, like, probably makes their movies in Canada, too, eh?

10. List the reasons why you would or would not invite the Democratic Party to take pictures of your grandmother's casket for the purpose of producing a fund-raising ad. Would it make any difference in your answer if Howard Dean showed up uninvited with a video camera and started filming the service?
They would actually be the reasons why I would not invite the Republican'ts to take them. The Democrats would probably ask if they could take photos, and respect my wishes in the matter no matter what decision I made. No matter what Democratic politician it was that made the request. Even Her.

Someone might even consider asking why Republican'ts continue to use pictures of flag draped coffins and any of the host of other smear tactics even now, while actively persecuting any Democratic ads (even just on the internets, say) that get within one tenth of one percent as bad as a standard Republican't ad in any of a dozen current federal congressional races around the country. Mike DeWine of Ohio seems to be coming to mind right now for some strange reason...

11. Name the total number of months in which you were personally responsible for meeting a payroll, describe the business(es) in which you were personally responsible for meeting the payroll, and state whether the business is still in operation.
Unfortunately, I have sold my soul to the company store.

I tried to start a small business, but like most of them, I went belly up before I could pay myself any salary at all. It's even tougher to try and do that now that the era of peace and prosperity is over in american business and the CEO In Chief is large and in charge...

12. State the total number of years and months you have drawn a paycheck. Of that number, how many were in the employ of a governmental unit, NGO, or organization that was funded by tax money?
Wow! That's a rather personal question. I'm sure that at least one of Cheney's government agencies can provide that information to you.

As for the second part, I have never drawn a government paycheck (other than taxable UI benefits for an extremely short period of time) in my life.

13.Would you allow Ted Kennedy drive the bridesmaids to the church for your daughter's wedding? Estimate how many bridesmaids would arrive at the church alive if they were so chauffeured.
If he still has his license, and would want to drive, and I needed a driver, possibly. I would probably just find someone to do it myself if someone planning the wedding couldn't find a rented limo to hire for the occasion.

Ted Kennedy is a cypher for these people, a myth that has been transmorgrified into an unholy sacrament. We shall see more of this.

14. Your brother-in-law calls you to tell you that as a result of the flood of Birkenstocks manufactured in Indonesia, he has been let go from his job the Florsheim factory. Do you (a) call all your contacts and get him placed in another job which may be somewhat different than what he was used to doing or (b) direct him to a government program where he will receive training in efficient assembly of Florsheim shoes?
a. if he knew how to make shoes, and I knew someone who needed a good cobbler, then of course. Otherwise I might help him refine his job search if he asked for my help.
b. I know of no government programs such as these which you speak of.
c. You're taking gabble (and here I'm speaking as a professional) when you try and present the business case - and it's set up wrong, so that there is no correct answer based on any equation that can be derived from the data provided.
d. Take off the tinfoil Tilly, and speak more rationally next time.

15. The 2000 census reports that between 8 and 11 million illegal aliens resided in the United States, versus 2 million illegal aliens counted by the 1980 census. In 1980, 46.5% of the federal and states' prison population was black; in 2000, 65% of the prison population is black. Describe in detail how the increase in cheap illegal day labor has positively impacted economic
opportunity for young men in the African-American community.
Wow! Who cuts your hair, man?

Pickles, is that you?

16. You are at a stop light and are rear-ended by a young Hispanic man who has glassy eyes and speaks little English. He also lacks insurance and a valid driver's license. Should you (a) lock him up (b) impound his car or (c) apologize for taking over "his" continent and let him go because he did not "know" that he needed insurance or a license,due to his inability to read and understand English.
Is this a trick question?

You don't mind if I don't get back to you on that?

17. A requirement of naturalized citizenship is the ability to understand, read and write the English language. Explain in detail why ballots should be printed in any language other than English, and describe what you would do to assure that voters are citizens of the United States.
Go look it up, and come back to me. If those be the rules, then spell them out. Whatever. Make a standardized set of requirements and enforce them for all. Don't put in anything silly - like they have to believe in Jeebus, or believe they have to vote for the Republican'ts in every election if they want to stay in the country - and publish it for all. It would be interesting to see if you and yours would all be able to pass the test, or if some of your family had to be deported, too. If we're idly engaging in thought exercises or something like that...

Keep it short and snappy, long on facts and short on opnion!

18. Bilingual education provides (a) opportunity (b) diversity (c) a perpetual serf class.
(a) and (b). The american taxation system, as it has been warped by over six years of outright Republican't rule, and thirty years of implicit Republican't conservative control and covert corrpution before that, has created the perpetual serf class.

19. Without going to Babelfish or a similar service, translate the following sentence:
" Me gusta la educacion bilingual porque me gusta que hay mas criadas baratas."
"The Republican't is asking a meaningless question in order to distract from the fact that Republican'ts have screwed everything up since they've been the ones solely in control of the United States government."

20. Nationwide, the cost of educating the children of illegals is estimated to be $7.6 billion per year. Should progressives who sympathize with the Aztlan movement pay a special tax in order to help out with this cost? Why not?
No. No one should be forced to pay any sort of special taxes at all. Because progressives shouldn't be singled out to bear this tax burden, especially when rich Republican'ts aren't paying their fair share of taxes as it is.

21. In the 1950's the average family paid 24.6% of its total income out in local, state, and federal taxes and user fees. In 2006, the total tax burden was 31.6% for the average family, meaning that 32 cents of every dollar earned went to pay taxes at the state, local and federal levels. Over that same period of time, inflation rate was 743.83%, meaning that a dollar is now worth 13 cents. In order to keep up with inflation and the tax burden, more households are two-income households. The top 25% of households yearly income is $50,000 or higher. Explain in detail how a couple consisting of a security guard married to a doctor's receptionist, each making $25,000 per year, is "rich."
Well - that couple used to be rich back in the fifties. But now they're just trailer trash who can't even put together a full rebuttal quiz while lazing around the mobile home all day.

Back in the fifties, the rich paid a lot more in taxes on the extra income they made over and above what the average worker got (while still getting the same share, and paying the same taxes, on the first $50K, just like everyone else. The tax rate increases kicked in, getting gradually higher and higher, when you started making insane amounts of coin). And it was a lot easier on the working stiff as a result. I wonder who it was who changed those rules?

[Editors' Note: Oops!! It seems our original author got a bit confused while writing the questions. Due to some statisticamal strategery in the previous question, our original author skipped a few questions - Ten - a full fifth of the quiz - I'm afraid!!

Praise Koresh that the authors of this quiz got sidetracked, making our exercise a bit shorter this time. But we are compelled to take some serious marks away from the quizmeister for this greivous error. Although it is in perfect harmony with the Repugnican't habit of leaving the job (half-a$$edly) undone.]

32. The children of all the Kennedys, John Kerry, Al Gore, Bill and Hillary Clinton all attended private schools. Explain in detail why the children of Taniqua Jackson and Jose Villalobos should not also attend private schools, and how remaining in public schools will provide the Jackson and Villalobos children the same opportunities enjoyed by the Kennedy, Kerry, Gore and Clinton offspring.
I'd rather explain why they don't get the gentleman's C that GeeWhatADumbA$$ got during his schoolin' days, or the free passes that the Putsch family got, or the opportunities of the Cheney, Frist, Hastert, Lott, Hatch, Janklow, Cunningham, Abramoff, and Delay family's children, thank you very much. They don't even have to work for their grades like the Clintons, the Gores, the Kennedys, and the Kerrys do - and the former get much better opportunities than the latter, even when they're not qualified for them..

Once again this Republican't strumpet presumes to hand out a subjective essay question in order to distract from the screwups of the junta in charge today.

33. It was discovered after 9/11 that several Islamist "charities" made millions in puts on American corporations. Explain in detail how the New York Times publication of the details of the SWIFT program for tracking the movement of terrorist money abroad will prevent a similar windfall to al Quaeda.
It was also discovered that a number of Republican't businessmen did the same thing. And it's been reported that there was some serious pullback from conservatives, upon learning that the Chimperor was about to be installed - enough to cause one of those cataclysmic market index drops just before he illegally crowned himself for the first time. Why don't you want to talk about the traitors in our midst, instead of the straw men you've spun out of superstitious nonsense?

34. Name six Christian leaders of the past decade who have taken (or ordered the taking of) non-Christians hostage, beheaded non-Christians, or have preached that it is the duty of Chrtistians to kill all non-Christians or force their conversion on pain of death.
Pat Robertson
Earnest Angley
Pat Dobson Fred Phelps and the Homo Haters Baptist Church of Kanses
Reverend Swank
Two Catholic deacons I heard gossiping in the coffee shop the other day**

[Editors Note: the wrong religiously insane theofascist was credited as being the head of the HomoHaters Baptist Church in Westboro, Kansas. The Editors regret the error, but, unlike Republican'ts (who can't ever admit that the possibility exists that they might make a mistake), the Funny Farm feels that any errors on this web site should be corrected as soon as they are found.]

35. In 1994, then-president Bill Clinton (acting through former president Jimmy Carter) negotiated a trade pact/treaty with North Korea whereby food, oil, technology and a nuclear reactor would be provided to North Korea in exchange for North Korea's promise to use the technology solely for civilian purposes. Explain in detail the "civilian purposes" of North Korea's nuclear weapons program and the long range missiles tested by North Korea in early July of 2006.
heat light and electrical power usually comes from the newkewlahr tech we sold them. When they still trusted us somewhat, we got the chance to try and make sure that's all they did with it. As with all of that sort of stuff, IMHO the civilian purposes are to help the people that the dictator oppresses so that they can survive his brutal reign.

As opposed to now, when we know nothing about nothing, and that's the way our Chimpy likes it! Heh heh heh...

36. The first car bomb exploded in the World Trade Center in 1993. In 1996, terrorists attacked the military complex and Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia, wounding hundreds of Americans and killing 19. In 1998, the American embassies in Dar-es-Salaam and Nairobi were bombed, killing 258 people. In 2000, 17 sailors were killed in the terrorist attack on the USS Cole. All of these attacks were linked to al Quaeda. Osama bin Laden was offered to the Clinton administration for capture by Sudan in 1996, an unidentified Arab country in
2000. Neither Sandy Berger nor Clinton ever responded to the offers. 2,000 New Yorkers are dead today because bin Laden remained at large. Explain why Clinton did nothing to take Osama bin Laden into custody.
You ask me to explain why you have come to a false conclusion, and ask me to argue a logical inconsistency? Again? Gee, I wonder why you think that lets you win arguments. Oh right - because it's a tried and true Republican't tactic that you feel you have perfected?

Where's the short and snappy questions? If I was the scion of this individual I would be quite distracted with all of the schoolmarmish gibber gabber. But glad to note the inability to count on the part of the questioner

37. Your daughter's wedding reception has commenced. Will you allow Ted Kennedy to tend the bar? Explain in detail why you would or would not.
If he were a guest at the wedding, I would not expect him to do so, I might allow it, if it was my decision, and he asked me.

If you are inferring that Senator Kennedy would want to fix himself a drink in order to slur his character and distract (once again) from the original questions, and the original intent of the questions, I would ask why you put such a subjective question in your quiz. And ask why should it matter to me or to you? Why distract us with this meaningless idolatry?

38. In the mid-1960's, Daniel Patrick Moynihan warned that the programs in War on Poverty would likely result in the destruction of the black family. All of the War on Poverty programs are in existence today, and the rate of illegimate births in the black community has gone from 23% to 69%. The rate of kids in living poverty in 1965 was 21%. The rate of kids in living poverty in 2006 is 21%. Aside from providing government jobs, and causing progressives to donate less to charity, what has the Great Society/War on Poverty accomplished?
Bore-ing!

Ah, the good old days!

39. Your mother is in a coma after suffering a stroke. Since her quality of life is obviously not what it was, do you (a) slip some cyanide into her IV tube or (b) simply tie her to the bed, remove the IV, and have her slowly die of thirst and malnutrition?
(c) if she's in a coma, I keep her on life support, monitor the vitals, and all that medical stuff.

Once again I seem to see some superstitious pagan occult beliefs slip in where ration and logic should be, and an incomplete question with an incomplete set of choices.

40. Former Vice President Al Gore has made a movie which claims that climate change is caused by gas and the burning of fossil fuels. Should he cease traveling in his private jet and his SUV, or should Michael Moore eat fewer nachos?
Hmmm - he's the only rich person who might, in this instance, be considered to be altruistic and personally focused (for over twenty years) on this issue. and a gratuitous Michael Moore is fat to boot! You are teh kewlsest evarrr!

He's also trying to be carbon-neutral, trying to help others be carbon-neutral, and trying to get his message across while Republican'ts make Michael Moore jokes about the movie he was asked to help make, which they judge without seeing. Plus - if his SUV is a diesel-electric hybrid that gets 40 MPG, I might just ask him if he knows where I could get one just like it.

41. When was the last time you read the Koran, particularly books 9 and 15? Explain why the Koran is superior to the Bible, and why the public schools' teaching children to be Muslims does not violate the First Amendment, but having a memorial cross on Mount Soledad does.
I do not read any of the pagan occult ritualistic texts that any of the religiously inane*** insane selectively hold dear. They're all very nice collections of often useful fables that many take waaaaay too seriously. Plus, I believe that anyone is free to believe what they want, as long as they don't require others to believe as they do. That goes double for religiously insane bible thumping card carrying members of the God Squad, who seem to think that they have the right to shove their superstitious babble in my face mostly all the time mostly every day. Even after I ask them to get it out of my face.

42. We all know that we all should do our share to help lessen the US's dependence on foreign oil, particularly for electrical generation. Explain why Teddy Kennedy (and a whole lot of other rich progressives)should not have to share the burden by having the view altered by installation of electricity-generating windmills off Martha's Vineyard.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop responding to your fervent belief in the Kennedy as the Anti-Jeebus, and call you out of bounds on any more of this kimchee.

If it's a government sponsored wind farm put in the right place (after some taxpayer dollars being spent on a government study, I'm afraid), then anyone affected should STFU or get eminent domained out of the zone. Especially if it could provide reliable power for the houses whose view is impacted. And I would argue that the view would be enhanced, not harmed, by the windfarm so I disagree with yet another of those biased assumptions you cavalierly toss into your (poor excuse for) questions.

43. Progressives have blocked drilling for oil off the US coastline in the Atlantic. The People's Republic of China has just signed a pact with Cuba, and will be drilling for oil in the Atlantic. Explain how the Chinese will be environmentally responsible in the drilling and transport of the oil, and why it is more desirable that the Chinese have the oil than it is for the US to
have it.
Explain what again? Maybe you could get in a super duper double secret communique to the Pretzeldent and ask him what he's doing about it on his record sixth straight month (and a bit extra on each side) of vacation while occupying the WhiteWash House.

44. It has cost upwards of $24 million and three years of investigation into who leaked Valerie Plame's name to Robert Novak, who found her name in Joseph Wilson's biography in Who's Who. Explain why the leaking of Ms. Plame's name to the press is more heinous than the leaking of the details of the SWIFT program for tracking terrorist funds in foreign accounts to the New York Times.
For the factually challenged, we'll repeat something that most understand about this situation: Novakula's crime was not to mention the name, but to mention that the name was a covert operative for the CIA. Which had the potential (probably now an actuality now that this cabal screwed it up so badly) to endanger the lives of innocent (and not-so-innocent) americans around the world.

Why don't you feel like the people of the United States should investigate this potential misuse of government funds? Why do you refuse to even discuss it? And how can you sink so low as to blame it on the last legally elected president of the united states?

45. If you were in a serious acccident and could not speak or move without assistance, would you want Michael Schiavo to be your nurse? What if it were your child who had been in the accident?
I have no idea if Mr. Schiavo is a registered nurse, and your wingnutty occult superstitions are peeking through your logic (cough) here.

If I were in a serious accident I would hope that the person(s) who is/are able to handle my needs at such a time are competent, capable, and care about their work.

46. During the last great immigration, immigrants debarked at Ellis Island and were uarantined for communicable diseases and general physical fitness. Those who were diseased were sent back to their country of origin. Few of the immigrants could initially speak English. The immigrants who made it past Ellis Island learned English, and most were European. Explain why it is not racist to allow people who have deadly diseases and who refuse to learn English
to walk across the border and take up permanent residence in the United States.
Explain why sphinctersayswhat?

It could be racist, if the race of the person was a determining factor in the rejection of the applicant. Which should have little to no relation to the disease and language thing - unless you make an automatic and unfair assumption that a particular race would not choose to learn english, have a deadly disease, or jump through any of your arbitrary little hoops. Or ask long winded, politically loaded, and irrelevant questions about yet another issue that Republican'ts have screwed up since they took over all the levers of power over six years ago.

47. Explain why Andrea Yates' drowning of her five children was not a late-term abortion. Would your answer be different if she had simply driven sharp scissors into the bases of the childrens' skulls?
Why, I do believe she thinks her God told her to do it. Right after her religiously insane husband took her off of her medication because his God told him it was the Right Thing To Do.

It was her choice to birth them, and she made it. What a beautiful choice!

48. The wedding guests are now departing. Another Kennedy is in attendance as well, and wishes to escort some of the more fetching guests to their cars. Do you tell Mr. Skakel (a) "not on your life" or (b) "after we lock up the golf clubs" or (c) "why don't you catch a ride home with Teddy?"
(d) there's a Republican't female (at least, that's what she claims) who's been fixating on you all night, dude. And it's that Fatal Attraction kind of fixating, if you know what I mean...

49. Explain why progressives spend so much time on sexuality and sexual issues, but don't appear to get any.
They usually don't bother telling prissy Republican't busybodies about the personal details of their sex lives, and thus the morally crippled Republican'ts seem comfortable in their superstitious ignorance. Can you believe how they freak out when they try and reconcile their spirituality with their sexuality?

It's when they think they have the right to enforce their twisted occult superstitions on others that I start to have a problem. And when they try and inject it into a rational argument as if it's some sort of logical tautology, it's time to get ready to pack it in.

50. Explain whom you would prefer accompany you in a dark alley in a rough part of town and why: (a) Dick Cheney (b) Harry Reid (c) Howard Dean (d) John Kerry
Hmmm. Kerry actually served, and IMHO knows how to take care of that sort of thing a lot better up close and personal than the rest. Plus he seems to be in pretty good shape.

So I'm going with: Kerry, another irrelevant and frivolous question dissembling from the real issues brought up in the original fifty questions as your last feeble attempt at something resembling coherence, and a general failure to comprehend, much less get close to, making a mockery of, the original.

The judges have to give this attempt an utterly inept rating, and inform the contestant that even podunk unrenovated one-stops on the internets have their standards.****

* - DWB = Driving While Black.

** - it's an inside joke. Seriously, cousin Mike - I'm joking! You too, Rev.E.Paul...

*** - a typo too good to miss while wondering about the name of the ?footnotes?***** in this post.

**** - and why is that frelling Irony Alert Siren going off again? Damn you, George Steinbrenner!

***** - is there a specific name for these sorts of footnotes? Inquiring minds want to know...

Myth Busters

^{Fryday, 20 Promise 2006}

Many thanks to Bartcop for linking to this list of myths about the United States of America. Of course, there are many who will dismiss them as lies out of hand without even reading the Cliff Notes summary - their Invisible Sky Fairy will tell them what to know about the situation without having to worry anyone's head about anything.

[Editors' Note: most of the original is posted here due to the strange (cough) tendency towards links getting bloggered over time (and original words then not getting read). We apologize for the inconvenience...]

P.S. This is a pretty powerful piece, too..

Completely Divorced From Reality

^{Friday, 19 Promise 2006}

Many of the denizens of The Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan^TM have linked to this set of fifty questions to ask any Reich Wing Repugnican'ts. I have seen quite a few slight variations on the Norquist BlaastFaxx standardized responses to the questions (which came out very quickly after the quiz was released, don't you think? Amazing what a large number of interconnected relational databases can do. And to all the folks at Echelon and Carnivore, keep banging the rocks together, guys...), but I don't think I've seen one closer to the original than what I read in the replies to this post over at the Hollywood Liberal's blog.

Now, I think (as do many others) that these aren't the best fifty questions you can ask today. But, hey, that's just me. YMMV.

Anyways,... you can read each of the original questions below, and each of the Reich wingnut's answers below each question. I will also be providing some rebuttal of some of the more outlandishly incorrect of the answers, and of course the award winning commentary you've all come to know and love. Enjoy!

original questions, Reichwingnut answers, and rebuttals designated as shown here.

[# Buck Says:(July 13th, 2006 at 4:11 pm PST)
I live for this!! Here is 50 easy answers for 50 dumb questions!!

(: Tom :) says: Well - I have a varied life with many interests. But I often find it amusing and somewhat helpful to others to sum up the jist of my thoughts on the subject at the time.

Okay - here we go!

1. What are the Top Seven best things that the Bush Administration has done?
#1.a.(my favorite) Deployed National Missile Defense
b. lower taxes rates for everone
c. increased military pay substantialy
d. subtract Afghanistan as a Al Qaida sanctuary
e. subtract Iraq as an Al Qaida sanctuary
f. no more assault weapons ban (my 2nd favorite)
g. Bigest aids package for the world to date (my least favorite)
Oops! Some of the slight (cough) deviations from reality here:
a) missile defense doesn't work, and is a waste of taxpayer dollars, which are getting stuffed into corpo-weasel pockets for this boondoggle
b) actually, when you figure in all taxes, not just income taxes, only the richest 1/2% got any tax breaks at all
c) unless and until you retire, then you're screwed, plus any raises are substantially just beyond the increase in inflation
d) in the immediate area of the capital city only. The rest of Afghanistan now has the Taliban / Northern Alliance back in charge, and producing record crops of poppies and sending out record amounts of opium and heroin to the rest of the world
e) yeah, right! Maybe in the few fortified areas where the occupiers have holed up, but otherwise we've caused a tenfold increase in al Q membership
f) so terrorists of all stripes will be able to get the weapons to murder innocents that much easier. Yay!
g) actually, the U.S. contributions to aids packages, foreign aid, and the rest of that whole helping others stuff that Reich wingnuts hate, is less than 0.1% (that's one tenth of one percent) of GSDP, ranking it 21st among developing nations. Plus most of the aids and much of the medical relief is tied to the promotion of abstinence only education and the implementation of therofascist anti-choice policy in the countries getting the money

2. Is the Iraq War is going well?
#2. Yes, because Al qaida in Iraq is under attack!
I mean, just because we're worse than the corrupt rascal we got rid of, and things are worse for Iraqis than they were under said corrupt rascal, that's no big deal.

Seriously, this sort of non-sequitur stuff lets you do just about anything in response.
"No, because al Q is bigger now than when we started attacking it!"
"No, because it sucked the life out of our economy!
No, because gas is way more than what it was before we started murdering our children for their oil!

3. After three years thus far, when do you think Iraq might be able to "stand up" so that America can "stand down"?
#3. We should NEVER give up in the war on terror, and we never will!!
Why can't you answer the questions that are asked? That's two in a row of nonsense answers that have no relation to the question asked.

To honestly answer the question (which of course is what the exercise is all about) it looks like Iraq in the form that it currently exists will never be able to stand up on its own. Thanks USA for destroying a country half way around the world!

4. For his part in the event, how would you rate the job the President did protecting New Orleans from devastation?
#4 Not goverments job..so…A+
This guy gives out A+ grades for not showing up! Must be one of those titans of industry (or someone who wants to be one) Plus, he is not answering the question again. Sorry, Buck. The correct answer is DNW*.

5. How do you think the rebuilding of New Orleans is going?
#5 Bad spot to rebuild city so dont do it!!
Wow! Let's get rid of Venice, Amsterdam, Jersualem, and a host of other places that are bad to build cities on while we're at it!

Buck fails to answer the question again. Good thing we didn't ask him to take it under oath...

6. When Dick Cheney and the oil company and energy executives met in private to plan America's energy policy, how much of their goal was to benefit consumers?
#6. They have SOLD them products and services they were in NEED of ..Ha ha ha
Just another example of compassionate conservatism, and those good old family values in action. I wonder if you're okay with the increased heating and electricity costs under the Pinhead in Thief, too... Well, hopefully in a few years you'll be able to blame it on the Democrats again

Buck doesn't answer the question again, but we would have to say the general jist of his answer is that none of it was (or needed to be) part of the goals of the office of the Vice pResident and his taxpayer publicly funded reward to his cronies for buying him the election energy task force meeting in the early days of this junta's illegal occupation of the WhiteWash House.

7. Do you believe in the President's call for an Era of Personal Responsibility?
#7. Yes, and then some!!
As long as we don't have to hold him to his own standards. Funny how there's no need to put him under oath about any of the messes he's gotten us into, and how we shouldn't worry about holding him accountable (or even bothering to know what he's been doing). I seem to remember different standards about this sort of thing when we had legally elected pResidents (the last three elections he and his party stole shouldn't be questioned either, right?)

I'm willing to give Buck the benefit of the doubt.

8. Since Republicans control the White House, Senate and House of Representatives, how personally responsible are they for conditions in America today?
#8. I like whats going on, so why would I want to change?
I'm guessing he was trying to say that he thinks that they are personally responsible, since he likes what's going on and doesn't want it to change. So this individual is glad that Abramoff, Cunningham, Janklow, and Delay (I'm only mentioning the ones currently indicted - I wouldn't want to unfairly lump Frist, Hastert, Boehner, Hatch, and any of the others in the same category until they've formally been prosecuted) have been committing crimes for his benefit. This is what some people live for, I guess - criminal activity, murder, and corruption. Doesn't sound at all like most of the stuff this Jeebus fellow was pimping...

9. Why do you think they haven't been able to find anyone who can verify that George Bush ever showed up for National Guard duty in Alabama?
#9. It matters not..thats why
It's $10K per person. That's a lot of coin for some. But it matters not to Buck. Yet another non-answer. Perhaps the Invisible Sky Fairy put it into this vacuous melon.

The correct answer is: it matters quite a bit, because it is a perfect example of the way the Texas Souffle has been able to get away with everything for all of his life. Funny how this compassionate conservative is not even concerned with the evil that his choices are responsible for.

10. Would you want Donald Rumsfeld to plan your daughter's wedding?
#10. No, my wife would not dig it!
This moran thinks he would have a choice if Don Rumsfeldo decided he wanted to do it. Plus, IMHO this is a dumb question and I would get rid of it and put in a different question

11. Are you aware that no government in the history of civilization, other than the Bush Administration, has lowered taxes during a war?
#11. Yes, its about time
Actually, I slightly disagree with the original question here. Many governments have distributed the booty from their wars of conquest during the wars themselves. This faux tax break nonsense is just another form of that. New and improved, so that Buck and his ilk aren't even aware that they're not getting any of the spoils... Doesn't matter - he's still given the incorrect answer.

12. Are you married?
#12. Yes!
Set up for the next question, and I can somewhat see a reason for it being asked, but I would have put it in together with the next question, and saved room for a better question all on its' own.

Then again, even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while...

13. Do you personally feel threatened by gay marriage?
#13. Yes!
Because over 50% of marraiges (YMMV - over 60% in Red States where I'm guesstimating Buck hails from) end in homosexuality. Oops - back here in reality, those marriages end in divorce. Thanks for playing Buck, but we can't accept your answer...

14. Since getting elected, do you think the President has been more a uniter or a divider?
#14. Neither, Clinton had screwed the puppy already!
Ding ding ding! We have gotten to the Clenis Corollary of Godwin's Law in only 14 questions! With an added bonus of the answer having no relation to the question answered.

Since the wingnut's head would explode if he actually answered the question honestly, we will tell the studio audience that Drinky McDumbA$$ is more of a divider than a uniter here in the U.S., and has united more of the world against the U.S. than anyone in history.

15. How do you explain the President's approval rating going from a high of 90% to the current mid-30%?
#15. False polling samples and only GOD could hold 90% for ever!
And we come to the creamy theofascist core of this Reich wingnut. If the results show that the Cokespoon Cowboy is unpopular, then the results are wrong? MY Invisible Sky Fairy told me so...

16. Do you like the government collecting personal data on you without a warrant?
#16. No!
Then why aren't you pissed at this junta for doing this? Doing it illegally, no less, and trying to proclaim that they shouldn't be forced to testify under oath about it. How come you're okay with forcing a president to testify under oath and asking him about his personal sex life, but you refuse to allow this president to be asked to testify about this, or any other issue that he has potentially engaged in criminal activity?

17. How much money do you have in your bank account, stocks and investments?
#17. Only a communist would want to know!!!
Only a criminal would refuse to answer the question.

That's gotta be at least five non-answers to questions already. Dude, you'd be next in line to be waterboarded if they had Gitmotized your a$$ and were asking you these questions...

18. What's your partner's favorite sex position?
#18. her legs behind her ears!!
Thanks for the confirmation! Now I know at least one of you is not a complete liar...

19. If you have nothing to hide, why aren't you answering?
#19. Yo ma ma
I would have lumped this question in with the previous one. The non answer here points to the frontal lobe advancement level. A better answer might have been "Git R Done!"

Definitely could have made a better use of the questions here. Plus there's an out for the questionee if they give a detailed (if smarta$$) answer to the question (trust me on this one).

20. Should we build a wall along the Mexican border?
#20. No
Another correct answer! But again, I'm not too happy about the question - it is a variant in Reich wingnut philosophy, plus it is somewhat subjective (you could argue that there is no right or wrong answer here).

21. Why isn't anyone building a wall along the Canadian border?
#21. Not enough heating gloves????
Another exposed nugget of wingnut amusement. Another subjective question that does allow a good skewering unless you are dealing with a particular flavor of Repugnican't insanity. Another opportunity for some better questions...

22. Does that terrorist gang arrested in Canada count as a threat?
#22. Yes.
A threat to the United States is what I'm guessing the unsaid assumption is in this question. In which case, we're up to seven (subjectively) correct answers. He must have sat at the front of the short bus...

23. If you shot someone in the face while drinking, how fast would the police show up to arrest you?
#23 Probably not as quick as If you shot someone in the face then lied under oath about it!
At least some are willing to go under oath when discussing these sorts of things. And get breathalyzed and incarcerated, even just for normal processing, when they do it. Another non-answer to the question. I'm thinking that the testicle electrodes would be coming into your peripheral vision very soon, Buck...

24. If Donald Rumsfeld had planned your daughter's wedding three years ago, would the guests still be there?
#24. Yes
Not the correct answer - traditionally wedding feasts went on for a lot longer than they do today, but three years is at least two years and eleven months longer than the longest on record. Jeebus told me so!

25. Even if no laws are broken, do you think it's okay to reveal the name of a covert agent?
#25. yes
As long as it's a Repugnican't traitor that's doing it. Any Democrat who would dare to do such a thing should be lynched as soon as we think he might have done it.

This is very much the wrong answer, and one of the main reasons that people like me are upset with people like Buck. If anyone gave him a similarly flippant answer regarding the criminals in power right now, he would get somewhat upset until the voices in his head drowned out what was said to him.

26. During your lifetime, approximately how often have you changed your mind?
#26. 1% of the time
Another part one of two that should not stand on its' own as a question in this quiz. Since this could be correct, I could consider it to be another correct answer to the quiz - and it was designed so that Reichwing heads would explode if they got to ten correct answers. Hope Buck can still get his head through the door...

27. Why shouldn't people dismiss you as a flip-flopper?
#27. I have shown no such traits!
Except for the supposed 1% of the time that you admitted you flip-flopped in the last question. Wrong answer! They should consider you a flip-flopper, wespecially if you said that about Kerry. For shame!

28. Where do you think the Weapons of Mass Destruction might be?
#28. Well, the 500 shells of WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION were in Iraq where they found THEM! So the US military moved THEM and its anybodys guess.
Isn't it a good thing Saddam kept them where we left them when Rumsfeld sold those WMD to them back in the eighties? And isn't it a good thing that their time of planned obsolescence has come, so the American military can't use them to gas the Kurds, or any of the other Iraqis, now? then we wouldn't have to look the other way again, the way we did when Saddam used our gas on the Kurds in the eighties. Gotta pay back those international favors for getting Ronnie Ray-Gun installed in the WhiteWash House a few years before that...

But this is the wrong answer to one of the few trick questions in this quiz: there were no WMDs. The last legally elected president eliminated 90+% of them in the late nineties with a surgical strike while some Repugnican't arseholes were airing out his private life instead of focusing on bin Laden and solving the Iraq and Afghanistan problems.

29. Where do you think Osama bin Laden might be?
#29. In Tehran, Iran with the prick Ahamadinijad hiding him!
So let's nuke them all, and let the Invisible Cloud Being sort them out!

Once again, you have given the studio audience an incorrect answer.

30. Is it fiscally responsible to cut taxes, increase spending and create a $9 trillion federal debt?
#30 Fiscally responsable or not its the right THANG to do!!
As long as I think I'm gettnig mine! This one should count as two wrong answers, it is so far from approaching reality. Let's hope Buck's kids don't hold it against him when they have to pay off that debt. Another non-answer makes me wonder if you're even paying attention any more...

31. Are you glad liberals passed such programs as Social Security, Medicare, the Civil Rights Act, women's suffrage, federal deposit insurance, unemployment compensation, rural electrification, child labor laws, minimum wages and the 40-hour work week?
#31. I disagree with that premise!!
Without providing any sort of reason why, or telling us what the premise it is that you disagree with!!! Because it's the AmeriKKKan THANG to do!!!

32. What are the Top Ten best things that conservatives have given to America?
#32. a. preserve the 2nd amendment
b. secure freedom from tyranny
c. secure freedom from communism (REAGAN)
d. secure freedom from socialism
e. missile defense support
f. lower taxes support
g. freedom from radical Islam.
h. fox News Network
I. Nascar
J. DALLAS COWBOYS (Americas team)
a. so that terrorists can get guns easier. Yayy!!
b. except for the tyranny of the current junta. We used to do that, but this thug acts l;ike royalty, not an electorated official. Wonrg answer.
c. Wonrg wrong wrong! The Berlin Wall can down under PapaDoc Putsch, not Ray-Gun. and it was a fifty years effort by both parties and many presidents. Thanks for re-affirming that you have no clue what you're talking about!
d. Wrong again! We're still not secure, and never will be unless we are continually vigilant
e. which still doesn't work!
f. lower taxes only on the richest of the rich, everyone else (including Buck) pays more! Wrong again!
g. but not freedom from radical theofascism! Yayy!
h. you forgot the Conservative News Network, MSGOP, the American Babbling Conservatives, the Capitalist Bull$hit Network, the Nationalistic Babbling Conservatives, the Excretory Inane Bollocks network, the conservative print media, and Clearly Conservative Channels. Oh, and you spelled Faux Snooze wrong!
i. wonderful to give hundred of thousands of rednecks carbon monoxide poisoning, while polluting the atmosphere. Yayy!
j. may Koresh have mercy upon your soul for rooting for America's Pimps.

33. If you were on life support, would you want a doctor you'd never met making a diagnosis about you via remote television?
#33. It depends.
An imcomplete answer at best. Depends on what? What your Special Sky Fairy tells you?

34. Do you think man-made greenhouse gases have anything at all to do with depleting the ozone layer?
#34. No!!!
Wrong again. And, since you haven't even offered a reason why you hold this incorrect belief, there is really no reason to get into it further, except to say, yes, they do.

35. If Donald Rumsfeld had planned your daughter's wedding three years ago, and guests were still there, how many factions would they now be split into?
#35. Multiple factions like there were to begin with.
Silly redneck - once again you answer this question with some unrelated noise.

Then again, it's a silly question to begin with.

36. How good is it that the terrorist Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi was killed?
#36. Yes
The correct form of your answer would be "very good" or "excellent" - so you actually get one wrong that you should have gotten right. Such a silly ka-niggot...

37. Are you aware that in 2002 the Pentagon knew where al-Zarqawi was and presented three separate plans to kill him, but the Administration refused to act each time?
#37. I disagree with that conclusion!
But I don't feel like explaining it to the likes of you, you smelly lib-rul! And I can put my fingers in my ears and yell Lalalalalalala until you stop talking about it...

38. Is George W. Bush the kind of guy you'd want to sit down and have a beer with?
...
Buck must have forgot to answer this question, but I'm guesstimating that he would've said "Hell Yes!!"

39. When he started talking about being a Born Again Christian, would you want to stay or leave?
#39. Stay!
Hallelujah praise Jeebus - it looks like we got one of those religiously insane theofascists here...

40. Is Ray Romano the kind of guy you'd want to sit down and have a beer with?
#40. Who the hell is that??
Somebody off the teevee - but not a NASCAR dude. Somehow I'm not all that surprised you got this one wrong.

41. Would you want him to be President?
#41. No
...unless I can be sure he's a Repugnican't arsehole like me...

42. Does the Administration have an environmental policy that benefits the environment?
#42. No and Im glad!
I'm sure your children will know just how to thank you when they can't breathe any more. Unfortunately there probably won't be any ice floes for them to lweave you on by that time, but I'm sure they'll be able to think of something...

43. Since George Bush campaigned for President strongly against nation building, in what ways are our actions in Iraq not nation building?
#43. Well, killing terrorists on a daily basis is not nation building! Thats positive!
...unless you create five for every one you kill, lunkhead. The correct answer to this question would be that the actions of this clueless cabal could be considered nation destroying, but not nation building. Another question where the answer has no bearing to the question asked. Praise Koresh that Reich wing melons don't explode when they do that sort of thing.

44. What's the maximum amount of time you'd want to spend alone with Dick Cheney?
#44. As much time as he wanted to chit chat!
A subjective question which should not be in the quiz - but we have to, in all fariness, hand over another correct answer to Buck the ignorant Fire Truck.

Damn you, George Steinbrenner!

45. After dismissing Saddam Hussein's old Iraqi army, was it a good idea to let them keep their rifles?
#45. No.
They don't need to get those second amendment protections Buck was so concerned about earlier. Funny how that works in what passes for intellect in Buck's household...

46. Would a policy that allows torture be something that makes you proud as an American?
#46. If I was real pissed!! Yeah!
Hmmmm... I know a whole bunch of people who are real pissed at the answers you've been giving, Buck. It sounds like you would be okay with them Gitmotizing your sorry a$$.

47. Has the Mission been Accomplished?
#47. Yes, with more missions to go!
As many as the Chimperor can screw up in the next few years, at least...

48. Do you feel comforted that Dick Cheney is a heartbeat away from being President?
#48. Yes.
A subjective question which could be considered correct. If you make the assumption that Buck can feel comfort in the first place. His answers point to that being an answer not based in reality, so we're going to have to give him no marks here.

49. If Donald Rumsfeld had planned your daughter's wedding, and guests started fighting and were killed, would you expect to be allowed to view the caskets when they were returned home?
#49. I doubt they would let me view the caskets of people that I had killed! Id be more concerned with the APB. out on ME! HA HA HA HA !!
Nice to see a supposed compassionate conservative delighting in the misery and suffering of others. Truly people like Buck are what gives many pause when trying to communicate with the religiously insane.

50. How glad do you think George Bush is that he's no longer active in the National Guard?
#50 . I dont think it matters.!!!
Oops! Buck couldn't answer the question once again. So of course he fails to answer the quiz and the vast majority of the questions in it with honesty, integrity, or any of those other things that people like him say they are the only ones to possess. What's that word again? Hyp-, hypo-, Repugnican't! Yeah, that's it.

We hope you have enjoyed this exercise, and are slightly better prepared to deal with idiots like this on a daily basis.

* DNW = Did Not Write.

This And That

^{Thursday, 18 Promise 2006}

This being the removal of the Putsch Gas Tax gadget from the top of the page after almost a fortnight's worth of fuzzy math (I personally think it might be some sort of software glitch in the host's zone - but this guesstimate has no reality-based proof to go along with it) once we got to the point last year when gas prices started really spiking.

And that being the wondrous variety of bloggy goodness that has linked to this website. I may someday try to link back to everyone who feels that this stop on the internets was good enough to point out to somebody else. I have been fortunate enough to experience first hand the knowledge that I have made a positive difference in others' lives, and I wanted to let you know that you have done the same for me. Thanks...

Guess Ten - Piece Of Cake Answers

^{Humpday, 17 Promise 2006}

It appears that some of the lyrics I put in the last quiz are still too puzzling for many puzzlers out there. So it's time to fill in the blanks for the rest of the songs in question:

1. there's an iron fist in a glove full of vaseline
- Dissident by Thomas Dolby off of the album The Flat Earth

2. the smoke from flux is filling his lungs
- American Life by Primus off of the album Sailing the Seas of Cheese

3. we all need a big reduction in amount of tears
- Dear God by XTC off of the album Skylarking

4. don't punish me with brutality
- What's Going On by Marvin Gaye
correctly identified by Susie the Suburban Guerrilla

5. and that's after buying his way into school
- Idiot Son Of An A$$hole by NOFX off of the album The War On Errorism

6. one nation controlled by the media
- American Idiot by Green Day
correctly identified by joules at Surreal 'R' Us

7. it was a fifty-four with a mashed up door
- Joe's Garage by Frank Zappa
correctly identified by Susie the Suburban Guerrilla

8. thought I heard a rumbling calling to my name
- Run Through The Jungle by Credence Clearwater Revival off of the album Cosmo's Factory

9. your mind's stuck in reverse
- Prey by Timbuk3 off of the album A Hundred Lovers

10. lend a hand to help your brother do his best
- Rhythm Nation by Janet Jackson off of the album 1814/Rhythm Nation

The Primus and NOFX tunes were the only ones from relatively obscure artists (and one could argue that they're not all that obscure - the NOFX song was fairly well known in certain circles a few years ago, and the band who does the South Park theme song isn't exactly unknown, either - especially if one was trying to make the argument that one put together a relatively easy set of tunes this time around), and the rest ended up fairly high in the billboard charts. Not necessarily at number one, but still within the realm of notoriety.

I'm gonna have to rethink my strategery here...

Today's Outrage

^{Saturday, 14 Promise 2006}

Via Maru the Crankpot:

Feel safer yet?

Guess Ten - Piece Of Cake Edition

^{Fryday, 13 Promise 2006}

Whereupon I try once again to challenge you, dear reader: can you name the artist and the song title that these lyrics come from? I will be very surprised (and disappointed) if no one knows any of these. No online searches for lyrics (that would be cheating!).

And, yes, I'm looking at Thudfactor and T.Rex and Rook and the Suburban Guerrilla to at least take a stab at these.

Here we go:

1. there's an iron fist in a glove full of vaseline

2. the smoke from flux is filling his lungs

3. we all need a big reduction in amount of tears

4. don't punish me with brutality
- What's Going On by Marvin Gaye
correctly identified by Susie the Suburban Guerrilla

5. and that's after buying his way into school

6. one nation controlled by the media
- American Idiot by Green Day
correctly identified by joules at Surreal 'R' Us

7. it was a fifty-four with a mashed up door
- Joe's Garage by Frank Zappa
correctly identified by Susie the Suburban Guerrilla

8. thought I heard a rumbling calling to my name

9. your mind's stuck in reverse

10. lend a hand to help your brother do his best

There could be multiple correct answers for some of these. Any one of them will do.

Food For Thought

^{Thursday, 11 Promise 2006}

Schwarzenegger Finally Gets a License

UNEASY RIDER: Schwarzenegger admits he doesn't have license to drive his Harley-Davidson

Report: Roethlisberger didn't have motorcycle license

Just wondering: how exactly do you get registration for a vehicle without valid insurance? How could you possibly get insurance for a vehicle without a license to operate said vehicle? And how could you get in an accident five years ago as an unlicensed motorcyclist, then get into another one six months ago, still without a valid license to operate a motorcycle on the road, and keep any licenses, or be allowed to drive anything at all (never mind about the prison time you should be getting too)?

Can you even begin to imagine what would happen to an ordinary schmoe who did these sorts of things?

Thanks to lambert at Corrente for inspiring this post.