Well - Montreal has ended their hockey season by losing to Philadelphia in the second round. Hopefully there weren't any Car-B-Ques in HabsTown over the weekend - I didn't hear anything about it, but then again I haven't really been listening to much of anything since Saturday night. I did manage to catch quite a bit of the excellent games last night, although I didn't stay up until the wee hours of Monday morning to watch Dallas' victory in the fourth overtime period. And the next round is now ready to go - It's Pittsburgh against Philly in the East, and Detroit vs. Dallas in the West.

Congrats to everybody who has made it this far in the playoffs this year. I'm looking forward to a couple more weeks of good playoff hockey, and then I might be able to focus on more important matters.

But it's not a good groove these days:

After winning the first game of the series in overtime, the Montreal Canadiens duffed the next two games of the series, and now stand in a 2-1 series hole that they need to get themselves out of if they hope to continue on the road to the Cup. So that beat is a bit out of synch with the rhythms of my heart.

I have also been sick with whatever bug has been going around lately. It will be two weeks Thursday since its' onset here at the Funny Farm, and hopefully I will be past the major situational challenges presented to me by this malady by then. Lots of coughing, chest congestion, sinus congestion, plus headaches, bodyaches, loss of appetite, and diarrhea. Sorry if I have not been inspired to contribute at any of the usual hangouts - it hasn't really been much of a priority of late.

And it's just more of the same old same old in the political arena: A rich white old guy who has been flying around the country in his wife's jet (in violation of his own campaign finance law) has dared to call one of the other candidates an elitist. And the major media are too busy drinking his (free to them) alcohol and eating his (free to them) food to call him on his incredibly hypocritical horse hockey. Oh, yeah - he hid his own assets behind his wife's skirts, and is not releasing her tax returns to the public. Maybe that bellweather of the mass media Chris Matthews can gush over McClueless for another couple of months while ostensibly being propped up as the everyman face of the Democratic Party. Or maybe we can get some more 'helpful advice' for the Democratic Party from Karl Rove in the pages of a major media weekly.

Then there was a co-worker, supposedly objectively neutral politically, who decided that he would spout Republican't talking points to me in an email discussion of the current political climate. Here's his opening salvo:

Then, he started to call in his Republican't friends to pile on. For some strange reason, they seemed to get a bit upset when I asked them why they supported letting american soldiers rape their fellow american soldiers (because, of course, they all believe that the reports of american soldiers raping Iraqi teens are just propaganda operations, put out by Al Qaeda, that liberals are only too willing to believe [due to their being traitorous surrender monkeys who want to install sharia in the courts of america]*) - and were surprisingly unwilling to examine any evidence I presented in support of my assertions. Along with consistently and constantly misrepresenting liberal viewpoints, and consistently and constantly spewing Republican't ones. To hear this from one of the many ditto monkeys in the office is one thing. But, coming from someone who (up until this incident) I believed was more or less objectively neutral politically (as he has claimed to be for some time now), and whose opinions I respected, this type of behavior has only reinforced my opinion that I should refrain from challenging the (Republican't) status quo within my place of business.

So, yeah - things have not been a bed of rose petals for Your Humble Narrator of late. And I have had no desire to burden you, dear reader, with a litany of my woes - and no desire to blow faux sunshine that's not smiling upon me of late up your a$$. Thus the non-updates you haven't seen around here lately. I'm hoping the Habs will give me some sort of positive distraction Tomorrow night...

* - seriously. Some of them honestly believe that I should be taken into custody because of the things I say about Putsch and the Republican't Junta.

Montreal Canadiens 5, Boston 0. Even though my good friend Aislin seems to think that they've gotten a little too beat up in the process, I found quite a bit of hope in last night's game:

- Alexei Kovalev is a very talented hockey player, but quite often it seems as though he has motivational issues. And when he gets frustrated (as he was in the middle games of the series), sometimes he tries too hard to make things happen, ends up staying out on the ice too long, and then causes an odd man rush opportunity for the opponents because he's too tired to get back on defense quick enough. Or gets a dumb penalty due to having to resort to other means to stop his opponents when they blow by him.

This behavior came to a screeching halt when Saku Koivu returned to the ice. Besides getting back one of the best faceoff players in the game and a rock steady center who has no problem wearing the 'C' and playing on the fourth line if need be, Koivu seems to me to have provided just enough inspiration to keep Kovalev focused on the job at hand and more in control of his frustrations.

- Carey Price was absolutely unbelievable last night. As a former goaler, sometimes you notice a few things, and I noticed that he handled an awful lot of quick, up close chances last night. Someone parked just outside the crease, getting a quick pass in on the tape, and then taking one (or more) quick shots on the net. Those were among the toughest challenges I faced when I donned the pads*. And Price just shut them all down.

I was also remembering the draft last year - I was with a friend from Toronto in a shop on Queen Street when we heard Montreal take Carey with the number six pick of the draft. And everybody in the place stopped what they were doing, and we all looked at each other as if to say (and some of us said it anyway) WTF?!?. Shows what we know - and also shows us why we're not making draft day decisions for the Habs. Gainey and the rest of the staff involved in that decision deserve some big-time props for it.

- The Habs, even though they are still engaging in too much illegal shenanigans (slashes primarily, but that trip of Chara should have given Boston a potentially game-changing five-on-three power play), look to me to be trying to cut most of that crap out. I saw Koivu drag a couple of players away from after-the-whistle confrontations that might have cost them penalty minutes, and I saw them trying to make clean checks instead of going for the cheap shot.

I must say that I definitely noticed a marked difference between last night's game and the game five 5-1 loss the last time the two teams were at the Bell Centre. The game six 5-4 loss in Boston was one of the best playoff games I've seen this year, and let me hold hope that game five was the anomaly in the set.

Tonight's game between the Philadelphia Flyers (Eastern conference seed 6) and the Washington Capitals (Eastern conference seed 3) will determine the matchups in the East in the next round - Philly wins and they play Montreal (Eastern conference seed 1) - and the New York Rangers (Eastern conference seed 5) play the Pittsburgh Penguins (Eastern conference seed 2), but if Washington wins then the Habs play the Rangers and the Penguins play the Caps. Pittsburgh took out the Ottawa Senators (Eastern conference seed 7), and New York defeated the New Jersey Devils (Eastern conference seed 4) in their opening series.

In the Western Conference, the final game of the first round takes place after the Philadephia - Washington game, when the San Jose Sharks (Western conference seed 2) host the Calgary Flames (Western conference seed 7) in the seventh game of their series. The Detroit Red Wings (Western conference seed 1), the Dallas Stars (Western conference seed 5) , and the Colorado Avalanche (Western conference seed 6) have all made it to the second round, having defeated the Nashville Predators (Western conference seed 8), the Anahiem Ducks (Western conference seed 4), and the Minnesota Wild (Western conference seed 3) respectively. So, if San Jose wins, they play Dallas, while Detroit plays Colorado. If Calgary wins, they play the Wings, and Dallas plays Colorado (and Detroit would be the only higher-seeded team to win their opening series in the Western Conference).

Stay tuned, fellow campers. There's a bit of a ride ahead. I have managed to catch whatever's going around these days, so I wouldn't expect too much in the way of bloggy goodness on these pages in the next little while. So, take it easy, and keep your stick on the ice!

* - although the first Montreal goal, where Boston goalie Tim Thomas got caught waaaaay out of position while trying to move across the crease, brought back quite a few uncomfortable memories too...

Montreal Canadiens 1, Boston Bruins 0. First playoff shutout for rookie goaltender Carey Price, and first Habs shutout in the playoffs since 1986 - at least according to my recollections of the stat man's prattling right after the game. Amazingly, as usual in hockey games, none of the announcers mentioned the possibility of a shutout on air during the course of the entire game*.

This could all be over for the Bears On Beans after Thursday night's game at the Bell Centre. I certainly think that a couple of days of focusing on why the frelling power play hasn't been working might be in order, but Monseiur Carbonneau certainly has impressed me so far with his coaching skills, and I would not presume to provide him** with any advice.

Thanks for a good game, and hope you're able to get your glazzies in front of a teevee that has the game on Thursday night. Share and Enjoy!

* - I counted. Twice.

** - unlike [shudder] Mario Tremblay, whom I did not hesitate to inform, loudly and insistently, from the other side of the telly, that his coaching skills (or lack therof) left much to be desired as far as I was concerned.

Well, it finally happened:

Boston Bruins 2, Montreal Canadiens 1 (OT). Not only did Boston finally beat the Habs for the first time this year, they were in the lead for almost a full period during the game.

You Humble Narrator would have provided you, dear reader, with this sports update sooner - but excessive celebratory adventures put me out of commission after Saturday night's overtime victory, and yesterday was (regrettably) spent getting back into the rhythm of the working week.

Game Four in the series is tonight in Boston, and Game Five is in Montreal on Thursday night. Share and Enjoy!

If you were a Bruins fan, at any rate...

Montreal Canadiens 4, Boston Bruins 1.

One of the more interesting statistics from last night: Montreal has never trailed Boston at any time this year. In the eight regular season games ([8 games] x [60 minutes per game] = 480 minutes of playing time in regulation [plus any regular season overtime [max 5 minutes per game]) they played this year, Montreal was tied with Boston for approximately 170 minutes, and in the lead for over 300 minutes. Even my favorite football team, the Miami Dolphins, were in the lead at some point during their season of futility.

I have already undertaken a wager with a co-worker who is a Dead Things Red Wings fan: whichever of Montreal or Detroit makes it further in the playoffs (Montreal goes farther = I win!). And, even though it might be akin to stealing candy from a baby, I would dearly love to make a bet with any of the Sadly, No! crew that are Bostonians on the outcome of the current series. How about it, guys?

To the Montreal Canadiens for distracting me from the incredibly depressing nature of the current soon-to-be-depression by having the best record in the Eastern Conference of the NHL this year.

It is nice to see that there are issues which I might be somewhat in agreement with a few of my compatriots:

A short while ago I postulated that, quite possibly, Johnathon Sidney McCain the Third might be in violation of his own campaign finance reform laws. While suggesting that the Democrats devote some effort to advancing this into the mainstream media

Surprise!

Funny how it's only one part of the internets that wants to inject a tiny bit of bipartisanship into the presidential news coverage, and every other frelling news source available to the american consumer that wants to studiously ignore this sort of thing once again and continue with Keystone Kop sadministrations running this country into the ground. Sorry you couldn't get the writers to work on this script any sooner, guys...

They have a listing of the muckymucks of the left blogsphere who've already signed on. Quite possibly it might include Your Humble Narrator and a few of his cohorts at the American Street sometime in the near future - once they've figured out that we've signed on. Who's with me?

[Editors' Note: this entry has been cross-posted at the American Street]

...I wonder what the religiously insane will make of this?

Equal time for other forms of religious insanity other than teh standard white jeebus on teh cross*? That PR director sounds like she might be of russian descent! Quick, spread the word - teh commies are trying to destroy gawd worship in teh ewe ess eh?!!!!!11!! Awake christian soldiers and kill other humans for teh grater glory of gawd!

I guess somebody should bind and publish the tenets of the Flying Spaghetti Monster so that this hotel chain could consider adding them to the menu.

* - fabulous prizes await any who can tell me where the original quote that has been shamelessly maligned by Your Humble Narrator comes from...

...that is the Democratic Party of The United States* in this election year:

- in between all of your falling on each others' campaigns, making each other look bad so that you can become the nominee for the Democrats in November, you should probably pay more attention to the way your message is being distorted by the supposedly liberal mainstream media, less on publicizing each others negatives, and more on overcoming them. You are all playing the game by the Republican't rule book - and that almost guarantees they'll win. Step outside the frame a little, and perhaps try to point out the distortions the Republican'ts are making of each of your positions. It might be a good opportunity to try and get the frame of both Democratic campaigns uniting against the common enemy trying to pit you against each other. Especially when the Republican'ts distort your own campaigns so that you appear to be sniping at each other more than you actually are;

- you might be aware that Johnathon Sidney McCain the Third has publicly endorsed a couple of religious leaders whose views are at least as radical, if not more so, than the religious leaders the Republican'ts have unsuccessfully tried to tie to your campaign(s). It would be nice if you could perhaps mention that (and nothing else) if the media tries to toss this topic into the limelight any more;

- you might also be aware that the Dunsel In Chief has been lying, repeatedly, in public, regarding the date that his administration began illegally wiretapping american citizens. Perhaps you could ask him if he would tell us why his bluster about this program is conveniently obscuring the fact that his cabal has been engaging in illegal surveillance of americans since well before September 11, and almost immediately after he was sworn in - instead of his lie that this illegal government activity only started taking place after September 11? It might be a good idea to mention the millions of missing emails that this government has lost and loosely tie that albatross to this one if you could manage it.

Also: Quick Quick Note to Nancy Pelosi: Maybe we can finally find some reason to put Chimpeachment back on the table? Your form emails to me about needing more cash because of the eight times the Texas Souffle has vetoed your legislation conveniently forget to mention the dozens (if not hundreds) of times you caved to this petulant dictator-tot and rammed his legislation through your congressional process. You should be making him veto legislation daily, and loudly complaining about his lack of bipartisanship since the day he took office, from now until his miserable residency expires. If anyone sniffs at all about politics, you might start in on the record number of filibusters by the Republican'ts during this congress and take it from there. If people mention bipartisanship, remind them of the previous seven plus years of Republican't hyperpartisanship during this administration. You might even find it worth mentioning that your were elected in a massive mandate against BabyDoc Putsch and that you might actually consider using it sometime in the future.

- you might also be aware that Ralph Nader is being funded by Republican't bigwigs**. You might also notice that, whenever Nader talks about the evils of government and or the fat cat bureaucrats, he always uses Democratic examples, and rarely (if ever) Republican'ts when he talks about his presidential aspirations. Maybe you could ask him, publicly, why he enjoys keeping the real fat cats in power? Or possibly when he's going to start criticizing his Republican't donors instead of his fellow progressives - even once in a while would be a start...

- and, finally***, you might be aware that Johnathon Sidney McCain the Third has not released his tax returns - but for some strange reason all the supposedly liberal mainstream wants to talk about is your tax returns. Johnathon Sidney McCain the Third should also be releasing his campaign financial information, and is quite possibly in violation of the McCain-Feingold campaign funding laws. Maybe you could bring this to the media's attention as well - especially if, say, a corpo-weasel like Chris Wallace starts trying to get you to respond to a question with only his pre-arranged no-win answers as acceptable responses about your campaigns.

Best,

(: Tom :)

* - "I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat." - Will Rogers

** - yes, it appears that this is possibly some people employing the time-honored stategery of supporting everyone, so that, no matter what, they're backing the winner of the contest. The numbers and what little information can be gleaned at this point, however, point to quite a bit of that coming from prominent Republican'ts, so this uncorroborated report could be quite damaging to Nader if it is substantiated and publicized in the upcoming months.

*** - yes, it's a pretty long quick note. It's pretty quick for Your Humble Narrator, relatively speaking. And most definitely pretty short for the political attention span...

OUR Credit Union has also recently had its' name changed from the Royal Oak Community Credit Union, and their online prescence can be found here in case you'd like to ask them yourself about their business policies and practices with regard to the events and policies discussed here.

So, credit union people: when one of your customers comes into a branch office to cash a Western Union money order, it would be best if you didn't assume that they were some sort of criminal trying to pass off some counterfeit paper, and treat them like you're going to arrest them because the money order can't be verified by Western Union's automated system. Even if they look like a somewhat more respectable version of your basic long haired DFH* coming in to the credit union during their lunch break. And you don't immediately recognize them - mainly because they do most of their business with you online, and so don't generally visit the business units much.

Funny story about this situation (and a quick note to Western Union while I'm at it):

The customer 'service' representative at the the credit union (and the manager at the time), once they looked me over, subjected the money order in question to chemical testing to make sure that my counterfeit operation was using the finest materials, humiliated me in front of the other customers there, and repeatedly called the Western Union automated 'service' to be repeatedly told by their software that the money order in question hadn't been registered by the system, they managed to be civil enough to give it back to me and not call the boys in blue to haul my a$$ off to jail.

I then made my own attempts to contact Western Union and find out what the frell was going on. My first attempt got the same software telling me that the money order I was holding in my hand didn't exist in their records. Then, the first customer 'service' representative I talked to told me the same thing, refused to look into the situation any further, and, when I asked to speak to a supervisor once they refused to help me any more, hung up on me. The second customer 'service' rep wouldn't directly pass me on to a manager unless I told him what I was calling about. As soon as I said I was trying to talk to a supervisor about the lack of professional courtesy being exhibited by Western Union's customer 'service' people, I was put through.

It was almost like dealing with a completely different company. "I'm sorry sir - yes, that was unprofessional of them. Yes, I will pass your complaint along to the management responsible for promoting an environment that causes the peons to act this way**." I could smell the bovine excrement exuding from this corpo-weasel on the other side of the world while sitting in front of my PC at home. But, in the end, this individual was actually able to shed some light on the situation.

It seems that, for the most part, when you buy a money order from a Western Union agent, that agent is supposed to report the details of the money order to Western Union, so that they can update their database and verify the details to the businesses that cash it. The agents are supposed to do that within 48 hours of selling the money order.

Well, according to this Western Union manager, this particular agent at this particular outlet holds on to their transmissions for a week and then sends the bundled transaction information to Western Union once a week. So, if I can just be a little more patient and stop expecting companies to do what they say they're going to do when they say they're going to do it, everything will work out just fine.

Funny how the manager at the credit union couldn't get past the automated messages telling him that the money order doesn't exist in the Western Union database, like I did with a few phone calls. Funny how the default position for both of these business organizations was to assume that everyone involved (except them) was engaging in criminal activity, and treat them accordingly. And funny that I had to raise a big stink just to find out that some of the businesses involved were not behaving in the businesslike manner that they had legally agreed to.

I hope the credit union is equally amused (bemused?) when a long time customer of theirs takes their business elsewhere because of their corporate policies.

Update: Amazingly (cough), the missing money order data has magically appeared in Western Union's database within 24 hours of my inquiries. why, it's almost like their might have been some legally actionable avenues I might have been able to pursue if they hadn't gotten their act together post haste!

For some strange reason, this has not restored my confidence with regards to future business dealings with these organiztions...

* - Dirty Fcuking Hippie

** - and then he promised me a pony and a winning lottery ticket - so I quit my job in anticipation of the fabulous wealth I had just been promised by a complete stranger in frelling India. Not that I'm saying that I can't trust businesses when they promise to follow their own corporate policies, or anything lilke that...

Thanks to Pam over at Pandagon for posting the response of Oklahoma House Representative Sally Kerns (R [of course] - Religously Insane Hypocritical Bigot) to criticisms of her hate and lie filled eruption of theocratic bull$hit when she didn't think anyone but the Gawd Squad could hear her. I would like to respond:

Once again, for any fervent card carrying members of the Gawd Squad within eyeball range - my beef is with religiously insane idiots abusing religion in order to pursue their ungawdly misinterpretations of their big book of religious fairy tales, or trying to make their particular flavor of pagan occult superstition the law of the land. Those who keep their spirituality to themselves, and use it as a guideline for their own actions, instead of a hammer to bludgeon those with differing views, are more than welcome to continue their activities without complaint or issue 'round these parts.

But the motherCheneying farging icehole who wrote the original 'clarification' of her position on a group that does not adhere to her buybull's standards fits that bill to a 'T' and should be drummed out of the political position being paid for by taxpayer monies where she is currently 'employed' - let her religiously insane supporters use their church tithes to pay for someone to spew this kind of filth as part of their job. This sounds eerily similar to the racial hate speech coming from the religiously insane of the previous generation(s) to my ears. Amazing how, the more things change, the more they stay the same...

I'd like to take this time to ask that, if you're interested in seeing a Democratic politician, instead of a Republican't, in the White House next year, please bite your tongue when passing along any slurs of the Democrat you don't want to get the nomination. Remember, Republican'ts will always slag any Democratic politician within range to try and distract from the crimes their people engage in when in power, and back away from discussions about the wrongdoings of Republican'ts when at all possible. They control the media, and, through it, the message, to a great extent. And, if that's how they're going to game things, then methinks it's high time Democrats responded in kind.

Somewhat earlier I asked the studio audience to consider focusing on the myriad of Republican't targets that are still sitting out there, instead of all this sniping between the top two contenders. Being that they're both head and shoulders above McClueless and the Anything-But-Straight Talk Express, or the other candidate that is being covertly supported by the Republican'ts for the third straight federal election, I see no reason to continue to try and play this game:

Guess what, campers? Those Republican't targets are still sitting there. And it looks like a few of the fat cats might actually be breaking into a sweat... The Sweaty Wrestler looks like he might leave no legacy other than another Republican't failure. The last of The Invisible Sky Fairy's Republican't candidates conceded last night. Perhaps somehow the dialogue can be shifted so that a few media spin cycles could be turned in this general direction?

So I would humbly suggest that the contest remaining is to try and be the most creative in bringing the myriad of Republican't misdeeds to the forefront from now on for Clinton and Obama. Which among you will be best able to tie the FISA scandal to the Republican'ts in the coming months? Who will best be able to make the public notice that, thirty years after the Exxon Valdez oil spill, a Republican't-installed Supreme Court Chief Justice wants the courts to stop trying to get Exxon to pay the punitive damages (that have been cut in half over those years) that they've refused to pay for all this time? Who can point to the Republican't congressional obstructionism that's been going on since 2006 better? I think the nation's interests would best be served by trying to, you know, actually point out that we should actually prosecute actual criminal behavior by actual current administrations who are actually still actively engaging in it. I'd like to see the next president focus on that a bit in the upcoming campaign.

Update: Great minds think alike! And publish at almost the same time, too...

I am happy to inform both of my readers that, sometimes, companies that have previously been somewhat lax with their professional duties during their interactions with the Funny Farm redeem themselves later on. Let me tell you a little story...

About a year ago, I wrote a quick note to Randazzo Heating and Cooling about their service when they fixed my furnace and installed a humidifier. I thought I was going to be getting a deal from the company - maintenance and humidifier install for free if I got the humidifier and prepaid for two additional service calls right now - but later found out that the deal from the company was a slight discount on one additional service call if I bought the humidifier (and got it installed) from the service rep on the day of the service. After burning some vacation time to sit around waiting for the service rep to get to my place after it had expired, while I was having dinner. Because his office had seriously overbooked him (and all of their service reps, seemingly, most every day as a matter of course - funny how that's become the industry standard...), and nobody canceled that day. And then watching a $90 five minute service call: the rep pulling a furnace part, sanding the carbon off, and replacing it in the furnace.

Anyways,... long story short: I received some email from a customer service rep, which led to phone conversations (where I mis-stated the situation quite badly, I'm afraid. Sorry, Mike - I have put it together as best as I can now, and I'm sorry I was inaccurate in my recollections during some of our conversations), which have led to the customer service rep apologizing on behalf of the company, and some replacement maintenance parts for the humdifier (just received today!). I have updated my post from last year (the unprecedented part - rarely, if ever, are any updates done to posts, much less to posts a year old) with an account of recent activities.

My thanks to all involved on Randazzo's end for following up on this.