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Now that the reich wing Republicants running all that pink ribbon crap you've been seeing all season long have finally exposed themselves to be the religiously insane female controlling farging iceholes that they are, are there three of you willing to donate a quarter of a million dollars each to cover up the shortfall over at Planned Parenthood?
Also, too: can anyone tell me why there's such a huge fuss about $680K of discretionary funding coming from an organization that reported earnings of approximately 400 million dollars in 2010? So much so that you can't even donate the equivalent of some of your executive bonuses for the year to Planned Parenthood due to your religious insanity?
Inquiring minds want to know...
Update: Big time props to NY Mayor Bloomberg for matching $250K for Planned Parenthood. Are there two more insanely rich people ready to step up to the plate?
]]>The Funny Farm, along with The Church of the Afternoon Nap, would like to ask you, dear reader, to heed the words of our good friend and internets guru, Marc Perkel. He has been the driving force behind The Church of Reality for a while now, and he would like to talk to us all about the (warning: horking big PDF file) Stop Online Piracy Act and some reality-based solutions to the problem that avoid all that messy treasonous internets-killing Republicant kimchee in the previous link.
I'll let Marc take it from here:
Dear Church of Reality Members, I have been actively opposing legislation in the US congress called SOPA. This bill is aimed at stopping piracy, but not only won't it work, it will break the Internet. It is important that this bill be stopped. To that end I had a meeting 2 days ago with former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi who wasn't that thrilled with SOPA and she thought it wouldn't pass. However she said that she considered piracy to be a big problem and that something needed to be done about it. In response I mentioned that I had produced a lot of intellectual property (software) and I understood the problem. I told her that if she helped kill SOPA that I would write a technical specification and a plan for an alternative that would actually work without breaking the Internet. So - keeping my end of the bargain - I have written an alternative specification that changes the paradigm of how movies and music are sold. I'm going to email this to her staff and hopefully be able to meet with Senator Boxer as well sometime soon. Here is a link to my idea. I need two things. I need some feedback as to how it might be improved, and I need this link posted to blogs everywhere that deals with this issue. So if you all can help spread the word that would be great. The Internet is the most significant step in human evolution in thousands of years. Maybe the biggest evolutionary jump ever. It directly affects what we are going to evolve into. That's what makes this so important. So - thanks in advance for helping save the future of humanity. Marc Perkel |
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About that blogging thing - it seems to me that the whole writering thing is not going to be feasable within a survival-mode lifestyle. At least that is the way I feel about it these days. Especially with the tremendous amount of feedback (cough) that has gotten through the cone of spammy silence I've put up around the funny Farm.
But, hey - I'm not here to ask you (again) to help me get through the Bush Depression. I might not be here soon at all if we get a Chinese-style internets policy like the one percent are trying to put in place.
I'm here to tout Get Your censor On, the latest effort by David Rees (I hope - I didn't see, during my brief mad scan before posting this, any accreditation for David* - that this is something he's put together). He has a ton of good stuff up already, and you can monitor his newest material through a new entry in the links zone over to the left. For as long as they let any and/or all of us stay on the internets.
A couple of haikus in honor of Get Your censor On:
Careful what you say - No more free speech internets Unless you gots coin Super toll thruway Gets you better internet Got to pay to play |
Go haiku yourself!
* - then again, I don't do Facebook and the Twitter so I didn't check out the facebook info associated with the Get Your censor On page...
]]>Hopefully this won't go the way of so many blog posts over the past year or so - a few graphs tossed out and then tossed away. But I'm running out of options and time, and I might as well put something down before the whole house of cards falls apart.
First of all, thanks to Marc Perkel for hosting this web site for me for free for the last few years - since I was laid off in 2009, I believe. Marc, please email me so's I can talk to you about the ongoing helping hand you've been giving me.
Second of all, thanks to the wonderful bloggers in my links zone for saying what needs to be said and pointing out the severe and persistent lies and hypocrisy foibles of the Republicants, the mainstream media, and the Democrats while they erode away what's left of the middle class and toss them into the bucket of crabs that is life in the less respectable areas of town. In particular, Hullabaloo, the Rude Pundit, and alicublog have been of immense help in fighting the gradually worsening depression that comes from trying to survive through the Bush Depression whilst being unable to find gainful employment in the real world. Was it something I said?
Third of all, thanks to the small and upcoming (warning: Google Chrome doesn't think this site is safe) businesses who have given me some small rays of hope and a bit of cash in my pocket since the unenjoyment ran out in October 2010. I don't really want to get into the details of how some (cough) businesses in this Cheneyed-up world pay cash under the table to their workers - especially as I am hoping to get more of said cash and don't want anyone to get into any trouble over it - other than to say I am intimitely aware that such businesses exist, and how they do business.
There is hope that I will be able to help in getting a mini hydro power station set up during the year, and some in my immediate circle have been making vague noises about installing solar and wind power. So the official business (which still does not have an official web site) and my official current position as starving up and coming CEO of a renewable energy consulting company might provide some small amount of gainful employment over the next twelve months.
Last (but most certainly not least), thanks to all of the family and friends who have offered their support should things become desperate enough that I would require it. Everyone (that I'm talking about here, I don't really know any really wealthy people) has been being squeezed and stressed by the Bush Depression for years. A lot of good people have snapped under the pressure, and most of us are getting close to fraying their last nerves. I'm not sure, from day to day, whether it's encouraging or frustratingly disappointing that I am managing to keep it together, and that I am making out better than most these days. All I can say is hopefully we can all help each other get through this mess and get to a world of hope and promise for most of the humans on the planet.
I'm not really sure how long and how much the desire to put forth more bloggy goodness will last. For now, I will leave you with a few haikus I put together for the Rude Pundit end of year haiku retrospective:
Where did the coin go? Rich got richer - poor got screwed History repeats. Class warfare has been The bane of humanity Since the dawn of time. Where to go from here? Is it time for the pitchforks? Or better Soma? |
Go haiku yourself!
]]>Yeah, it's been a year since I thought I was going to turn blogging into some sort of paying position. And here we are, with my internets interactions constricted to asking you to email me as my comments are a fetid swamp of spammy spammers. And hoping that someone will see the benefits of providing me with gainful employment before I run out of things to sell. But that's a story for another time if and when I manage to come up for air long enough to want to write about these trying times.
Anyways,... I'm hoping that DJ Riko hasn't quite gotten to checking out last year's Xmas Mega Mixx – cause now there's another one out for 2011! Still in the upload page but this time you can download the Xmas Mega Mixx 2011 mp3 file, and enjoy a fine selection of holiday music without all that tedious mucking about with zip files and such. The mp3 file is slightly larger than the zip file would have been, but not even enough to worry about pulling through a dialup modem.
Here's the song list:
Xmas Mega Mixx 2011
Ella Fitzgerald - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Weezer - We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Perry Como - Home For The Holidays
Devo - Merry Something To You
Barenaked Ladies - Hanukkah Oh Hanukkah
Liz Phair - Winter Wonderland
Jane Siberry - Hockey (censored version)
Mary J. Blige - Christmas In The City
Tom Robinson - Truce
Honky Tonk Confidential - Christmas Prison
Billy Paul Williams Orchestra - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
No Doubt - Oi To The World
Gary Walker - Santa's Got a Brand New Bag (intro)
Vince Guaraldi Trio - Linus & Lucy
Louis Armstrong - Christmas In New Orleans
Shelly Adams - Snow, Snow, and Mistletoe
Louis Prima - What Will Santa Claus Say?
Blue Mountain Boys - Santabilly Boogie
Billy Ray - Christmas Mambo
Stompin Tom Connors - Merry Christmas Everybody
Lenny & Squiggy - The Jolliest Fat Man
Xmas Jug Band - S A N T A
Lionel Hampton - Boogie Woogie Santa Claus
Surrogate - Rockin Around The Christmas Tree
Dance Hall Crashers - I Did It For The Toys
Swingle Sisters - Xmas Medley
Share and Enjoy!
]]>In light of recent events (particularly the incident where Milan Lucic of Boston flattened Ryan Miller of Buffalo and put him out with a concussion), the Funny Farm Security Service would like to offer the following advice to the rest of the goalies in the NHL:
You are amongst the largest players on the ice. You have a lot of equipment on to protect you from getting hurt on the ice. Utilize your advantages. When they take a run at you, brace yourself and take them out instead of letting them hit you.
I can guarantee that, once a goalie has established that he will be one of the ones doing the checking, players will think twice about running them over.
Full disclosure: I have played all positions on the ice, and was very much an in your face type of goalie who was body slamming anyone foolish enough to pull cheap shot crap like Lucic's while I was goaltending. Lucic would have been airborne and spinning upside down into the net, back first, if I was in Miller's skates that evening...
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Last night's Daily Show was most awesome, and I was talking to one of my Canadian friends* and telling him that I would be imbedding it into my website for his (and his fellow Canadians) viddying pleasure.
Little did I know...
It turns out that imbedding infotainment content from Comedy Central in order to show it to my friends in the Great White North is more involved than meets the eye - The Comedy Network in Canada has the rights to broadcasting (among other things) The Daily Show in Canada as well as hosting the streaming video content in Canada. Which means that anyone trying to watch yesterday's Daily Show in Canada has to go to the Comedy Network to do it, and anyone not in Canada has to go to Comedy Central.
I have watched the online version of the show (they cut off Granholm's extended interview in the 'exclusive' online version - after making you watch the entire portion of the interview that was broadcast again in that exclusive extra clip only available online - just sayin' you could've shown us the whole interview instead of loading the edited broadcast interview twice and then cutting off the rest) using Comedy Central's feed. I cannot check that I have the proper web address on the Comedy Network until I get up to Canada again, and the lack of funds not available due to my living not paycheck to not paycheck for the last year or so curtails my traipsing off to the Great White North and verifying web links for the studio audience.
Hope you like the show no matter where you are watching it from.
* - Like, How's it goin', eh?
]]>There's been a lot going on this summer, and I haven't the desire to talk about the Republicant scorched earth policy too much*. But the tragedy in Norway points to a problem that really hasn't been mentioned as a problem in the discussions I have seen (and tried to comment on**) about the right wing christian terrorist:
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This clown might have said that he was an Islamaphobe, but he was killing liberals at a liberal youth camp. Can we please agree that the liberal bashing has gone on long enough? And that the reich wing media is letting this slide, and has been doing so for years?
I can only imagine the hand wringing from the Cheetos brigade if anyone even remotely liberal suggested that conservative right wing christian terrorists and their supporters in the media should be hunted.
Funny how that works...
* - a) what can be said that hasn't already been said (and then twisted, lied about, and fearmongered about by the conservative media)? And b) why bother wasting my breath (and drawing attention to myself) when the Reich wing Republicants (especially the teabaggers) are going to continue their liberal jihads anyway?
** - I'm not quite sure what unsavory activities I may have been up to, but for some reason I can't seem to get a comment posted at Balloon Juice - I'm guessing that my email has been flagged as spam. If anyone over there sees this, would you please email me and let me talk to you about how I can stop this from happening...
]]>Hey Paul!
I got your email from your YouTube account. Unfortunately, Google wants me to set up an affiliated account with them (and provide them with my cell phone number) in order to send you an email reply (and keep my YouTube account). And I'm not interested in another set of signups that require me to hand out my personal info yet again.* So this is the best I can do...
Yes, it's been a while. Thanks for getting back to me - I couldn't find you (not that I looked very hard - right now I'm hanging on to what's left of my life by my fingernails, waaay stressed about not finding a job for two and a half years, and failing miserably at trying to be a small business owner again and starting a new religion) but I was hoping you might be able to find me again.
I hope all is well with you and yours. Do me a favor, and email me directly instead of sending something to my (newly found out to be) defunct YouTube account. I'd love to find some time where we could finally catch up on things. Talk to you soon!
* - they want my phone number to contact me directly because there's some unusual activity with my YouTube account, which isn't passing my smell test this morning. And why do they need my phone number and addy for a YouTube account? So, sorry to disappoint, but I'm not interested in signing up for another site on the intertubes. That's right, kids - you won't see the Funny Farm on MySpace or FaceBook etc. etc. either because I don't trust that they're going to keep my personal info personal. I haven't even found the wherewithal to get the RSS feeds and some of the other toys Movable Type provides for my web space together for the more techno-friendly of my dozens of readers. Let alone keep up with maintaining them...
]]>It's been almost a month now, and the wound is still fresh...
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...but I think I'll recover. I hope my good friend Doc up the Great White North will be able to hold up under the strain of having a son who's a Bruins fan who's had to put up with years of taunting from Habs fans. Plus, also, too - if the NHL has some sort of work stoppage, the Bruins could have the Cup for more than a year! The horror!
I also stumbled upon this whilst surfing the internets of late:
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The Funny Farm News Burro is excited to announce that Stephen Colbert has been allowed to form Colbert SuperPac. Here's a couple of YouTube videos of the post announcement, as well as one of the official vote.
This is going to be such a wild ride! Looking at the official request to the FEC from Colbert's team, one thing immediately leaps out to me - Stephen Colbert does not need to worry about any sort of employment issues until after the election...
Hey, Stephen - fifty year old unemployed (for two and a half years) blogger who just started a small business to try and survive because no one will hire me in the real world*. Can you throw me some of that SuperPac cash to write something political for you and help determine the 2012 election? I can practically assure you that I could put some unique perspective on the political landscape. Email me and let me know how I can be a part of the team.
* - there are a couple of people who are giving me the opportunity to work for them - for outside workers' hours and cash. I'm dealing with a couple of physical problems (some for the better!) as a result and still looking for gainful employment in the real world.
]]>Did you know that your new governor owns a company that performs drug tests and is drug testing all welfare recipients and state employees? Not quite sure what would be included in either of those categories, but the paranoid conspiricist in me says it could conceivably include Social Security and Medicaid/Medicare recipients as well.
The observer of the scorched earth teabagging political lifestyle in me is wondering if this gambit is merely the naked cash grab that it appears to be on the surface, and the side benefit of disenfranchising yet more non-Republicant votes is largely unintentional - or was there some sort of requirement within the development specifications that whatever scam was implemented had to trim some non-Republicants off the voter rolls?
I'd also be interested to know how many of the state senators and representatives will be drug tested on a regular basis, and what will be happening to the results of those tests (i.e. will they be posting the positives to some place on the intertubes?) as well as any subsequent corrections (someone gets a false positive or some samples get mixed up, or, heaven forbid, some unethical corpo-weasel gimmicks the system for some non-Republicants at the company owned by the Head of the State), revisions (does someone get off the list if they pass drug tests for x amount of time after getting a verified positive on a drug test), or updates (somehow a government database gets hacked and has to be reset)?
And, finally (crowd [cough] screams with enjoyment), does anybody see any sort of potential downturn in the tourist trade due to this type of political policy in Florida? Any constitutional or right to privacy issues?
Inquiring minds want to know. You can email me and let me know what your comment here would be. I think I might be able to find a way to make them show up for all the multiverse to see as long as they're not spammy spam.
Praise and thanks to John Cole over at Balloon Juice for pointing the way to this story.
]]>...from some of my friends in the Great White North who might be suffering some buyers' remorse at this point in time:
GOOD TIMING ALWAYS HELPS! While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.” “No problem, just let me in,” says the man. “Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.” “Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the M.P. “I'm sorry, but we have our rules just like you have yours.” And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. “Now it's time to visit heaven.” So, the M.P. spends 24 hours joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. “Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.” The M.P. reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.” So St. Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors of the lift open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and rubbish. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more rubbish falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don't understand,” stammers the M.P. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.” |
Thanks to my good friend Stu who passed this along to me and another friend after he received it from his sister in B.C.
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